TV show quotes
Are you crazy? Aren't our lives miserable enough? Anything else you'd like to confess while you're at it? How about the dent we punt into the limo hmm? Oh, why don't you tell him about the time we sold his cigars!
Well now! Do go on...
Ohohoho, come on! Tell all!
But you... you said you wanted to confess...
ALMOST! We said we ALMOST wanted to confess, we didn't say we actually wanted to confess!
Of all the two-faced filthy lying twisted things I have done, I have never stooped as low as you three malicious mudwallowers!
No boss.
Poor little Bentley, he must feel lousy... and the things I said to him! I hope you're proud of yourselves!
We're not boss...
(After going through some rapids)
I haven't done that since I was a kid! Speaking of which Bentley, you are off the hook! That whole computer mess wasn't your fault at all.
It wasn't? I can have my old job back?
Of course not. Never should have hired you in the first place! You're supposed to enjoy the summer. You'll have plenty of time to be a grown up!
The instructions say to boil fruit in the pressure cooker at 10lbs for twenty minutes. So I figure if we make it to 200lbs for one minute it'll be twice as good!
You know, your math's getting better everyday Lloyd!
(To the Pigs) If you three were buildings you'd be condemned! I want this kitchen rebuilt perfectly and it's coming out of your salary now!
(On a PA) Attention! It seems not all of you are aware of the rules! Rule number 1 - all those with red labels on their jars... hands up!
You're disqualified!
Now don't get ugly!
We're just doing our jobs!
We're in deep this time guys!
With Mom judging, she's sure to recognise her own preserves!
And we'll be in a pickle.
Oh what a jam!
I did a sloppy job on the fireworks. I should have worked harder on everything!
You just worked too hard on too many things Bert.
Yeah, and I let all my friends down.
Bert, we are your friends, and that's what makes it alright to say no to us.
We don't expect you to be a superman.
We understand.
Gee, thanks guys.
Sometimes, trying to help out our friends, we make all sorts of promises. But the best promises of all are the ones we can keep.
(Responding to a phone call) Listen Leech, if I do not see some cold hard cash pronto, you will hear from so many lawyers that latin will become your second language!
There's no one here!
I've been kept waiting for nothing! Who does this guy think he is?
Maybe he just stepped out to, er, freshen up before your meeting!
I want to buy his company, not go out on a date with him!
Alright class, we shall begin at the beginning; breathing.
Ha ha ha! Ah, come on Schaeffer we know how to breathe already! We've been doing it for years!
You must be the advanced class, heh heh heh!
I'm not teaching you boys how to fight. Martial arts teaches self-defense, and there's a big difference. Do you understand?
You're the best, sweetest, most understanding parents in the world! That's why you should let me have a puppy!
Bentley, for the last time you cannot have a puppy, until, you've proven you're responsible enough to take care of it!
I just DID the dishes, didn't I? And you didn't even have to ask me! I AM responsible!
Uh-huh. And what happened to your goldfish?
But I was just a kid then! If I had a puppy, I'd walk him, and feed him, and be the best friend a puppy ever had!
You heard your mother, Bentley.
Fine. I guess I'm just gonna be a lonely boy without a dog... for the rest of my natural life. Sheesh.
"Where no man has broadcast before..." Boys, I've got it! This is gonna be a Mother's Day Mom will never forget!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Raccoons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
