TV show quotes
Knoxie and I had a terrible fight, in public no less! He demanded I resign from my job!
But why would he want you to resign?
That's exactly what I asked him! He said women have no place in the working world?
How could he say such a thing in this day and age?
It's his upbringing Melissa. Old world, old values, old money. I told him to accept me as I am, or leave. He left, and tomorrow is... our anniversary! Oh Melissa, I'm so unhappy! (she sobs)
Oh it's a disaster! Our first catering contract just went up in smoke!
No, he just went up the stairs!
Don't cry Lady Baden-Baden.
Oh I'm not, it's the onions. Oh, but I do miss Knoxie so.
I'm sure you and Mr Knox can work things out.
You manage a career and a marriage Melissa. How do you do it?
Well, a little understanding, a little support and a little compromise... from both of us!
Compromise... not one of Knoxie's strong points.
(Whilst playing golf) You're crazy to break up with Lady Baden-Baden. Just because she took a job Knox! Drat.
But sir, where I come from a gentlemen would never let his wife take a job. It's tradition.
Lucky shot Knox! The heck with tradition! You can't kiss off a perfectly good marriage because of your pigheaded prime! You're living in the modern world Knox. The woman has a right to work if she wants. Rats! Besides, you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. You're getting a second income out of it!
(As the train she is riding on disappears down a tunnel) Knoxiiieeee! I looooovvvveee yooooou!
Did I miss something here?
Yes boss. The happy ending.
Knox uses astrology to foresee the future!
Well you three won't have one if you don't start talking sense.
We'll do better than that sir! We'll talk dollars and cents!
Bananas it is then! Buy boatloads, buy plantations, buy republics! Go bananas buying bananas boys! Hehe, that's a good one. Write that down.
Cedric's horoscope says to rise above his problems. And according to Bert's horoscope, he might find himself in a high place!
You mean the mountains?
Yes.
I don't put much stalk in horoscopes Lady Baden-Baden, but I suppose it's as good place as any to start looking.
The stars never lie! Just ask Knoxie.
Mr Knox Well, er...
I don't think consulting the charts will do any good my sweet.
But Knoxie, you've always depended on my charts to guide you.
Well my dear, you see I always made my own business decisions. I couldn't hurt your feelings by telling you that.
Hmm... how interesting. Wonderful. My son's been out there all night while we've been looking in the wrong place.
Oh Cyril! I thought... I thought I was helping.
No one's blaming you Lady Baden-Baden. The mountains were as good a place to look as any. But where do we look for Bert and Cedric now? It's a big forest out there.
(Reading from a book) "Dating made easy in 500 easy lessons". That doesn't sound easy to me!
(teasing Bert) Bert and Lisa sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
However, Bentley, you are not so very funny!
(looking through some comic books) Wow! You've got Fog Man #1! The Undesirables! The Caped Kid, and The Mole Lady!
(who is smartening his appearance) Hey Bentley, what do you think?
I think you look like one of the Undesirables!
Says you!
Hello? Anybody home? Hi, Bert. Hiya, Bentley.
Oh! Heh-heh! Uh, L-L-L-L-Lisa, w-w-what a surprise!
Bert, what happened to your hair?
It's the new windswept look.
Oh. I just wanna see your clubhouse, Bert. Bentley has told me so much about it. You don't mind, do you?
No, in fact I'm honored.
JP and Knox are inside the athletic club Boss.
I can't picture Knox doing pushups!
Oh my... they were here!
The steam bath boss! They must be in there!
(walking into steam room) Good work boys. You'll get a raise for this.
A raise!
JP? JP Gordon? Have I got something for you!
(horrified) Oh, there's a man in here!!!
Oops... so much for our raise.
Ralph?
Yeah Bert?
Ever have a girlfriend?
Sure did pal.
What happened?
I married her.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Raccoons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
