The Office (US) Season 6 quotes

Michael

I like Donna. Is it wrong to keep seeing her? Depends on who you ask. I mean, if you ask her husband...or you took a random poll, yeah, it's wrong.

Meredith

That is something I would never do.

Michael

Well, I think we all know what you're capable of Meredith.

Meredith

Hey, I have never cheated on, been cheated on, or been used to cheat with.

Meredith

I ask everyone in the room, "Are you in a relationship?"

Toby

[while Michael makes fart noises] Come on, Michael. You're interrupting.

Michael

You're kidding me! God! You say radon is silent but deadly, and then you expect me not to make farting noises with my mouth? What is this?! You know what? We're not going to die of radon, we're going to die of boredom.

Michael

Right? And if I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

Michael

Okay. Alright.

Dwight

You were being really funny, and then you went too far.

When Mama was working as a prison guard and something went missing, she'd ask one question: "What do we do when we find the guilty party?" And if they said, "Come down on him with that swift hammer of justice", innocent. A clear conscience don't need no mercy. But if they said, "Officer Bessie, well they may have had a reason, blah blah blah blah", well, nine times out of ten, that's the anus they'd check.

I saw all your hard drives and guess what? [gestures to Ryan] You're not a photographer. [gestures to Kelly] And you definitely can't fit into a size two. Darryl, man, you're on Facebook. Why you been telling people you're not on Facebook? People want to be your friend, man! Alright? And you. [points to Andy] This guy, you're the one who told the press. You wrote an e-mail to the editor. I saw it, and I also saw a QuickTime movie of your little printer fire test on your hard drive. This guy's the snitch, he's the snitch. So that's it. Check it out. [gives everyone the finger and leaves]