All this time I thought you were a nice guy.
Wake up, I'm a water-polo player, we're never nice guys.
S2 E22The Showdown
You know, I really thought things were gonna be different this time. But you haven't changed at all. You've found new and even more public ways of disappointing me.
Oh, my gosh. How much vodka did you put in this?
Normal amount. Little less.
RReed
Summer, Seth and Zach have talent. They could have careers in comics. But you are the Nico of the group.
I'm sorry. I don't get references before 1990.
You have been monitored to one degree or another since before we were married. The affair you had with your former husband. The tryst last year with that high-schooler... Luke.
Oh, my God.
I mean, your daughter's boyfriend. What will people think?
Ex-boyfriend.
S2 E23The O.Sea
What time is it?
It's 5:30... ish.
You're showing up earlier and earlier.
Yeah, well, we have a lot of ground to cover. So I figured, since we're both up, we may as well get a jump on it.
So everyone's saying you're going to be voted prom queen. Isn't that, like, your fifth-grade dream coming true?
No. My dream involved an actual date. A hot guy in a tux, with a carnation pinned to his lapel. Instead I'm drawing straws between Nerd Boy and Ass Clown.
I think one day, pretty soon, we're all gonna have a good laugh about this. Ha ha ha. I know that day feels far off, but comedy is just tragedy plus time.
You know, I really did love you, Ju-Ju.
Ooh. Past tense. That stings.
Sorry. Grammatical error.
CMCrowd Member
Seth Cohen's a tool!
Okay. I know I'm not who you all imagined as prom king, seeing as how I'm not who any of you actually voted for. But she's the queen, and I love her. So I guess that makes me the king.
Cohen?
No, I'm just the guy standing next to you. You're the queen, all right? I'm the jester, perhaps, if that works. So let me ask you this, Your Highness: what can I do to make it up to you?
Well, you can start by dancing with me.
CMCrowd Member
But he's a tool!
[to Kirsten] I'm an expert of fighting with your father. And believe me, every time you think you've driven him away, he comes roaring back asking for more - you couldn't beat him off with a stick.
Look, we want to go away for the weekend, and if we can't trust you by yourselves, you're gonna have to stay with your grandfather. Which means you'll be spending the weekend with Julie Cooper.
SRSeth & Ryan
[look at each other] You can trust us.
Good, now go do your homework.
[Seth and Ryan sheepishly leave]
[out of the boys' earshot] Nothing like a little Julie Cooper to strike terror in the hearts of children everywhere.
[smirks] Very impressive!
S2 E24The Dearly Beloved
Sorry, Mum. I didn't mean to be a bitch.
Well, apples and trees. You are my daughter.
Caleb Nichol was not a man of many words. He was, however a brilliant man. He leaves a legacy of possibility. But his true achievements were his children. He was a caring father, a wonderful grandfather... a truly terrible father-in-law. So he may be gone, but he won't soon be forgotten. So rest in peace, Cal. And, if you can't do that... I'm sure heaven could use a few more McMansions.
Jess turned out a little crazier than I expected.
Really? That's a surprise, considering you met her face down in a pool.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The O.C. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.