Sandy Cohen quotes from The O.C.

Sandy

Do you think I look at all like Tony Blair?

Kirsten

Uh, you have nicer hair.

Sandy

Thank you. Good hair. Leader of Great Britain. I would call it a wash.

Sandy

Look, we want to go away for the weekend, and if we can't trust you by yourselves, you're gonna have to stay with your grandfather. Which means you'll be spending the weekend with Julie Cooper.

[look at each other] You can trust us.

Sandy

Good, now go do your homework.

Sandy

[out of the boys' earshot] Nothing like a little Julie Cooper to strike terror in the hearts of children everywhere.

Kirsten

[smirks] Very impressive!

Sandy

There's a doctor coming here this afternoon. He's gonna help us stage an intervention.

Seth

What? Is this, like, an After-school Special?

Kirsten

So your Grandpa's broke.

Seth

Ryan and Marissa don't go to school any more.

Ryan

Jimmy Cooper just sailed out of town again.

Seth

I got two months of detention.

Sandy

That's the great thing about this place. Nothing ever happens.

Sandy

Honey, this homemade pah tai is delicious, keep cooking like this we'll save a bundle on takeout.

Kirsten

Oh thank you. I hope everybody likes it, i used tofu instead of shrimp.

Marissa

Its fine by me, i think I've kinda gone off of seafood for a while.

Sandy

I for one I love the tofu, tofuna, tofurkey, tobagel with cream tocheese. (Looks around) Too much.

Seth

It was a valiant effort.

Sandy

Well, you've beaten the Sandy Cohen mind-melt. I was hoping if we gave you the space you needed, you'd realize that this is not the answer to your problem.

Ryan

Yeah? Maybe my problem doesn't have an answer.

Kirsten

Sure it does, Ryan. You keep out of trouble until you graduate, at the very least you'll end up at a good community college.

Sandy

Yeah, you'll post of couple of semesters of good work then you could transfer to a four-year school.

Ryan

Yeah, if you come from my family, it's not so easy.

Sandy

We're your family now.

Ryan

I may not be an Atwood anymore but I'm not a Cohen either. I don't know what I am.

Kirsten

So you're gonna figure it out lost at sea.

Ryan

Lost at sea, lost on my own, what's the difference, right?

Ryan

There's this guy, and he's gotten it in his head that he's gonna fight me.

Sandy

Does this have anything to do with the fact that my car is now the "Lil Bitch"?

Ryan

Maybe. I was gonna fix that.

Sandy

Ryan doesn't wear glasses.

Seth

He does when he's reading from right to left.

Sandy

You mark my words, this will be the best Christmukkah ever. [kisses Kirsten]

Kirsten

You're beginning to sound like Seth.

Sandy

Well, it just means you'll listen less when he's gone.

Sandy

The whole thing about a Bar Mitzvah is it's about becoming a man, not that you aren't one already. But if there were ever a time for an adult moment, this is it. Whatever's going on, set it aside until after tonight.

Ryan

Will it be wallowing my pride?

Sandy

I'm not saying it tastes good.

Kirsten

[grins] Ohhh, the boys have poster boards and paint!

Sandy

I love student activism.

Sandy

You don't have to reinstate but you might want to.

Enlighten me, Mr. Cohen. Why would I want to do that?

Sandy

Because sometimes a good kid goes though a rough time. And we might think that by closing a door to her, or to him, we're teaching a lesson. And when that child needs us the most, we're not there for them. There isn't a person in this room that thinks Marissa Cooper is a threat to anyone, or that she wasn't a model student nor that she wouldn't continue to be. So what are we doing here? Instead of proving a point, let's right a wrong. It's so rare in life that anyone gets a second chance.

Seth

Ugh. Get a room.

Sandy

Hey, count your blessings. Kids with affectionate parents

Kirsten

[to Ryan, about Sandy] He's just worried about The Nana.

Sandy

She is an excellent clapper

Seth

She can do the two finger whistle

Kirsten

And she's never taken a picture out of focus.

Sandy

The woman was born for graduations.

Sandy

We both screwed up.

Seth

We're both usually so awesome.