Sandy Cohen quotes from The O.C.

Marissa

I brought bagels.

Sandy

Well, that's the secret password into the Cohen house.

Seth

Nice. She kept saying the word "nice". You know what that means, don't you?

Sandy

Aww, she think's you're nice.

Seth

Yeah, exactly. Nice. As in lacking any edge and/or danger.

Ryan

Yeah, well, you do have to fix your sandwich.

Seth

[sigh] No. It's like the more edgy and danger she became, the more I became a good Jewish grandmother.

Sandy

Not your grandmother. [looks at the untouched corn] Keep shucking, Seth! I want dinner ready by the time your mother gets home.

Seth

Hey! Maybe, I don't feel like shucking these! Ok, maybe you should go and shuck 'em yourself, old man!!

Ryan

[snickers] That's good.

Sandy

[chuckles, sarcastically] You had me shaking in my boots.

Seth

[in disappointment] I'm so screwed. Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. I get mad, I turn into, like, a 75-year-old yenta... named Sylvia.

Seth

Ohhhh I know this here. This is the Cohen residence.

Ryan

[whispers] Ok ok now we have to be really stealthy.

Seth

Hey, I was all camp, capture the flag, Camp Tuckahoe. I invented the stealth.

Ryan

All right. You did.

Seth

I sure did.

Ryan

[whispers] But you're yelling, you need to be quiet.

Sandy

What's going on? You guys ok? [sees Ryan] Seth?

Seth

Shhhhhh....we're being stealth. [attempts to "leap" over the hood of Ryan's car]

Sandy

[sees the Newport Living cover with Julie's portrait] Honey, I don't want to alarm you but there is a giant Julie Cooper on the table.

Caleb

Is Kirsten here? I was hoping to have a chat with you both. It's about this ungodly magazine of Julie's. You heard about it?

Sandy

Heard about it? I've got an eighty-foot mock-up in my kitchen. It's gonna haunt me in my sleep!

Kirsten

You're going to prison?

Sandy

Oh, just for the day.

Sandy

I can see how that might salt your game.

"Salt my game"? Is that how they talk in Orange County?

Sandy

Stick around, you'll be saying "rad" in no time.

Kirsten

Have you seen Seth?

Sandy

Well, I've smelled him. Smells like Teen Spirit to me.

Sandy

The FBI was here.

Kirsten

Well, it wouldn't be the Cohen house if there wasn't a visit from someone in law enforcement.

Ryan

[about Hellboy] He tries to do good but he usually ends up destroying everything.

Sandy

Well, that's my kinda hero.

Sandy

I feel like we've become like strangers.

Kirsten

Well, I was taught never to talk to strangers.

Sandy

Julie, you scared me. More than usual.

Julie

Always a pleasure, Sanford.

Sandy

Only Caleb gets to call me Sanford because he won't not.

Julie

I am so screwed.

Sandy

I know. I saw the footage.

She's a great lady, huh? Your mom. What a pistol.

Sandy

I always thought of her as more of an AK-47.

Sandy

Look at you, Ma. With a cell phone.

I'm very hip.

Sandy

I guess so.

I just can't read the buttons.

Sandy

I love my mother. Who else would?

Kirsten

That's terrible!

Sandy

You wouldn't say the same thing about your dad.