Seth Cohen quotes from The O.C.

Summer

Hey, uh, Che, this is my boyfriend Seth. Seth, this is Che.

Summer, you have a twin flame? [to Seth] I wish I knew you were coming to town. I would have made you a bracelet!

Seth

Oh, hey. Where I come from, we just say "hey.".

Well, to borrow your native tongue... "hey."

Ryan

I keep imagining her on roller skates and with a big bucket of soapy water.

Seth

Dude, that is so pedestrian. A sudsy girl? Your fantasies are so... average.

Ryan

Doesn't mean it's not hot.

Seth

I guess they call them classics for a reason.

Summer

What is it? [opens gift: a T-shirt] "Jamaican Me Crazy."

Seth

See, it's funny because its not.

Summer

Uh-huh. You didn't make any plans for us tonight, did you?

Seth

Well, I was just thinking...

Summer

What? Jamaicum up as you go? You are such a baby. I am done babysitting you, do you understand me? [shoves gift back at him] Done.

Summer

Shalom, Cohen. Since you brought me presents yesterday, I thought I'd return the favor.

Seth

Oh, that is sweet!

Summer

[hands Seth a pamphlet] So, here's information on the four C's. Carat, clarity, color and cut.

Seth

Ah, diamonds. Sure, sure, if we're doing this, we'd better do it right.

Summer

Exactly. Which means nothing less than two carats.

Seth

Nah, three. You're worth it.

Seth

I've been thinking Yeats or maybe Shelley.

Summer

You're working on the guest list?

Seth

Those are poets, Summer, and their words will inspire my vows. Have you been working on yours?

Summer

Why yes, I was thinking of, uh, Shel Silverstein with a dash of Dr. Seuss. "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful, one hundred per cent!"

Seth

[deadpan] Very moving, Summer.

Summer

I know!

Ryan

[sees Pancakes in Seth's sling bag] Dude, you can't bring that animal in here. What are you doing?

Seth

How dare you talk to your nephew that way. [strokes Pancakes' nose] Don't listen to mean Uncle Ryan, Pancakes. That's just the 'roids talkin'. They do make him huge, I know.

Ryan

Can you get him out of here, please, before he ends up in a quesadilla?

Seth

[looks at Ryan in horror] We'll be on the patio. Please bring us another side of carrots.

I've gotta go. There's a man who's been impaled by what appears to be a unicorn.

Seth

[whispering in amazement] Unicorns.

But our conversation is going to continue. We'll talk about this on my rounds tomorrow. [leaves]

Seth

So does this mean I have your blessing? [door closes] They do exist.

Seth, you put something out into the universe and you didn't get it back. I mean, I can't imagine what a blow that must have been to your male animus. You've been emasculated.

Seth

My masculinity is intact.

Seth

Hey, Che.

Seth! Hey, you look...

Seth

Not good. I know. So, that thing you said about the animus?

I was right, wasn't I? See, the flesh lies, but the aura never does.

Sandy

Are you sure you don't wanna come?

Kirsten

Watching a movie about a guy eating a live octopus? I think I'll pass.

Seth

It's also got one of the greatest fight sequences in probably the last five years.

Ryan

[sarcastically to Seth] Yeah, I think that'll convince her.

Seth

Listen, Mom, what better way to see out your thirties than a little South Korean shock cinema.

Sandy

Nobody plans a surprise party like Sandy Cohen. I could've been with the CIA.

Ryan

Hmm.

Seth

[deadpan] I heard they're known for their birthday parties.

Ryan

I cannot believe that you tried to steal Newport Chuck.

Seth

Sometimes the universe makes you do things that you don't even understand.

Ryan

Sure. Well, Sandy didn't seem too upset about it.

Seth

Are you kidding? He's waited eighteen years for me to be arrested for political activism. It's probably the proudest moment of his entire life.

Summer

I met G.E.O.R.G.E.

Seth

I'll kill him.

Seth

You may find this hard to believe, Ryan... but when I was younger, I used to be a bit of a worrier.

Ryan

You don't say

Seth

To distract myself from worrying, I would sometimes make lists. It didn't matter what the lists were of, it could be anything. Every cereal I've ever eaten, or the names of every planet mentioned in Star Wars. Whatever."

Ryan

You wanna make a list, Seth?

Seth

Oh, yeah. Whatever. Sure, if you want to. We could start with everyone you've punched in the face...since moving to Newport. First would be Luke at Holly's beach house

Ryan

Yeah, & number two would be Luke.

Seth

Right, at the diner.

Ryan

Yeah, & again at the model home.

Seth

What about Holly's dad at the cotilion?

Ryan

That was more of a tackle

Seth

Which takes us back to Luke

Ryan

Yeah. TJ.

Seth

Although, you're going to have to wrap your head about the fact that we're really brothers now... We're blood brothers.

Ryan

You donated blood?

Seth

Eh, I had an extra few pints flowing through my veins. It was no big deal.

Ryan

Hm. You're not a big fan of needles.

Seth

Nor of fainting, it turns out. But the bank was a little low and us O negative guys gotta stick together.

Ryan

Hm. It's weird, cause all of the sudden I have this strange urge to listen to Death Cab and read comic books.

Seth

For real?

Ryan

No. I'm kidding.