Teresa Lisbon quotes from The Mentalist

Grace

Where's your gift?

Jane

Oh, it's on its way. [Rigsby laughs]

Lisbon

Typical.

Jane

You really think that I would forget your birthday present? [Lisbon nods] It's on its way.

Lisbon

Yeah, right.

Jane

Little grumpy because daddy didn't buy you a pony?

Jane

Look at it this way. We've closed yet another case.

Lisbon

Toying with mafia bosses is no way to close cases, it's stupid.

Jane

Meh. You just trying to find fault. And I know why.

Lisbon

Oh, really?

Jane

You're still a little grumpy about the birthday present thing.

Lisbon

Will you leave that alone?

Jane

Unbelievable. You've got no reason to be grumpy anymore. [He puts a red bow on Lisbon's office door. She opens the door and finds a pony standing in her office. Lisbon smiles and is lost for words]

Jane

Oh, and thank you.

Lisbon

For what?

Jane

For just letting us play it out like this.

Lisbon

Nah. We would have had to let her go on the murder charge anyway. Nothing to keep her on until we get proof. Besides, this is a simple plan. It's when you start getting costumes and props that I get nervous.

Six months of living in that chair. Six months and no one ever questioned me about it. Why did you?

Jane

Whenever I meet someone in a wheelchair I check the bottoms of their shoes. The bottoms of your shoes were scuffed. I've been checking shoes for years. This is the first time it's ever paid off. First time. That's gratifying, man. Very, very gratifying.

Lisbon

Ah, he's a pistol, isn't he?

Lisbon

Chewing-gum plays. I can already see my hair with a big chunk out of it.

Jane

You'd look good with short hair. Choppy, all kind of Peter Pan. Good for the eyes.

Lisbon

Train station. It had to be a train station.

Jane

What's wrong with a train station?

Lisbon

People, noise, tunnels, trains. More people.

Jane

When was the last time you saw a doctor's handwriting you could read?

Lisbon

So she's precise. Is that what you're implying?

Jane

Yes, and the possibility that Dr. Brooke Harper is not a doctor.

Lisbon

Because she has penmanship skills?

Jane

And she doesn't have that cold, creepy, doctor-y vibe they all have.

Rigsby

Be fair. Not all the Doctors are cold and creepy.

Jane

First day in Medical School they get a stack of books and a dead human being. That, I'm afraid, would change you. Brooke Harper was warm and emotional.

Lisbon

You like her so she can't be a Doctor.

Jane

Pretty much.

Lisbon

I hope you got something useful for all the trouble you caused.

Jane

Yes, I did. The story of the mad axeman Zachariah, who lives in these here woods.

Lisbon

Ah, Z.

Jane

Yes, Z. I would have gotten more, but you came back too quickly.

Lisbon

Reality check. I'm your supervising agent. I'm not your decoy.

Lisbon

We should start looking in the woods around the school.

Jane

Oh, that sounds horribly tedious. Shout if you need me.

Lisbon

Go ahead, relax. Enjoy yourself. God forbid you should do anything tedious.

Lisbon

Why so cruel?

Jane

Statistically, it's dad that did it.

Lisbon

Since when do you care about statistics?

Jane

Just wanted to raise his pulse a little.

Jane

Please understand something. I have a very personal interest in this case. I'll do whatever it takes. I will have you framed for murder. I will torture you, I will kill you myself if I have to.

Geez, Lisbon. Come on, this is on tape. Control your man there.

Lisbon

Cut him some slack. Look, he's just playing the guy. He doesn't mean it.

Doesn't he? You know what Red John does to him. He can't think straight. He would do all that he said and more if you let him.

Lisbon

I won't let him.

Jane

If we catch Red John, he's not walking anywhere. He's mine.

Lisbon

Don't talk like that. I can't let you anywhere near this case if you start talking crazy like that.

Jane

Crazy? You're crazy if you think you're gonna stop me. Red John is mine. You try to stand in my way and you will regret it.

Lisbon

Are you threatening me?

Jane

No, I'm just saying that if you stand in my way you--

Lisbon

[interrupting] I've had it with your egotistical crap. This isn't about justice or the law. This is about you and your wounded pride. I'm done with it.

Lisbon

We still have Hardy, okay? He's gonna tell us what we need to know.

Jane

Oh, you think so? You should have waited. We agreed on that.

Lisbon

What if Hardy had killed you right here?

Jane

He would have led you straight to Red John.

Lisbon

You'd be dead.

Jane

But you would have Red John.

Lisbon

I don't think you mean what you say. I think you'd choose life.

Jane

Well, you think wrong.

Lisbon

No. No, you think wrong. Can't you see there's people who care about you? Who need you? You're being selfish and childish and I want you to stop it.

Jane

I wish that I could, but, you know, some things you just can't fix.

Jane

What do you know about the case?

Not much. He's a serial killer, 15 victims, including your wife and child. I can imagine your pain. Maybe that pain is clouding your judgment.

Jane

Well... [He leaves the room]

Lisbon

And me, Sam? What's clouding my judgment?

Good question. You tell me.