Yeah, you guys go find out. I'll find the couch. [Stands up and turns around] Oh, there it is.
“Red Sauce” · Season 1, Episode 20
In this episode: Patrick Jane (12), Teresa Lisbon (7), Kimball Cho (2), Wayne Rigsby (2), Grace van Pelt (1)
I'm not saying you knew about the affair, I'm just saying that if you did, you'd be our prime suspect. Funny when your best defense is your apparent lack of the most basic detective skills.
MEMarshal Exley
You little son of a bitch.
Easy.
I'm sorry. I'm just thinking aloud. No offense.
MEMarshal Exley
Yeah, right. No offense.
None taken.
[Talking about the whereabouts of a mafioso Sonny Battaglia]
Palm Desert right here in California?
No.
Palm Desert's not in California?
No, you can't sneak off and talk to Sonny Battaglia.
Oh, I thought you meant Palm Desert wasn't in California. It is in California, right?
Thanks for your time, Mr. Battaglia. See you later.
SBSonny Battaglia
Hey, wait a minute. I'm not finished talking with you yet.
I'm finished talking with you.
SBSonny Battaglia
What are you, Al Pacino all of a sudden? People don't act that way with me.
I do when there's witnesses around.
SBSonny Battaglia
What are we gonna do with this guy? He's got a screw loose.
You think you have a certain charm about you, and you do, but you live by oppression. In reality you're just a greedy, twisted little sadist.
SBSonny Battaglia
Hey, screw you blondie. You're lucky you helped me beat Arnold Palmer here or I'd plug you right now. To hell with the witnesses.
[Jane just waves at him]
What did you learn?
She's scared. She's of Italian descent. She bites her nails. She doesn't like pets or pineapple.
Useful stuff.
KKid
Yeah, screw the cops.
Even for a midget villain like yourself, that's an untenable position. Every modern society has some kind of police force. It's like saying, screw the public transport system.
Teenagers. I hate questioning teenagers. It's like talking to mud.
You need some love in your heart.
Oh, is that my problem.
Yeah, it is.
Any money go missing lately?
POPlayland owner
Nope. And I keep tabs, trust me.
And why should we trust you?
POPlayland owner
It's just a phrase, like "you know".
What do I know?
POPlayland owner
No. You don't know anything I'm saying it's just a thing to say.
Oh, it's a figure of speech.
POPlayland owner
Right.
So we shouldn't trust you, really.
POPlayland owner
Yeah. No, you should.
[Jane has guessed what Rigsby and Van Pelt got Lisbon for her birthday]
Okay, two for two. How about mine?
Cho. [Cho hands Lisbon a present and Jane covers his eyes]
That's sweet, thank you.
I got it.
Okay. [Opens the present] Okay, what is it?
It's a mid- to high- end bottle of... wine-- aah, no, no, no. Champagne.
Yes.
Yup, there I go. [whispering to Cho] Re-gift?
It's a really good bottle. I don't drink it.
Do I detect a slight residue of grumpiness in you demeanor?
No.
I swear to you, Lisbon, your gift is on its way.
I am not grumpy and I don't give a damn about your supposed gift.
[To Rigsby] She's still grumpy with me, isn't she?
Not touching that.
[It's Lisbon's birthday and everyone else has given her a gift except Jane]
Where's your gift?
Oh, it's on its way. [Rigsby laughs]
Typical.
You really think that I would forget your birthday present? [Lisbon nods] It's on its way.
Yeah, right.
Little grumpy because daddy didn't buy you a pony?
Look at it this way. We've closed yet another case.
Toying with mafia bosses is no way to close cases, it's stupid.
Meh. You just trying to find fault. And I know why.
Oh, really?
You're still a little grumpy about the birthday present thing.
Will you leave that alone?
Unbelievable. You've got no reason to be grumpy anymore. [He puts a red bow on Lisbon's office door. She opens the door and finds a pony standing in her office. Lisbon smiles and is lost for words]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mentalist pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.