Teresa Lisbon quotes from The Mentalist

Jane

Deeply hypnotized subjects are very suggestible and have very little inhibition. Rigsby, do me a favor. Close your eyes. Please. [Rigsby closes his eyes] Now, relax. Don't tell me, but think about it. Think about what you most wanna be doing right now. You can do anything you like in the whole world. What are you gonna do? I want you to open your eyes and do it.

Jane

Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

Cho

Huh.

Lisbon

Okay, he's hypnotized.

Jane

Hypnosis is just a way to connect to the imagination rather than the conscious mind. The mind will accept whatever the imagination creates, however bizarre.

Lisbon

Hypnotism is what you use against my explicit orders to get witnesses to tell the truth. It's a little different than convincing somebody that a dead girl is a sack of vegetables.

Jane

Different in scale.

Jane

He's all soft and squishy and malleable.

Lisbon

Well, can you fix him? Lift the trance, make him remember what happened?

Jane

I could try but without knowing the trigger it would be like you and me playing Marco Polo in the Atlantic. Take forever and you get all pruny. Easier just to find the hypnotist and ask him.

Lisbon

What's NLP?

Neurolinguistic programming.

Jane

Well, sneaky ways to influence people doesn't sound quite as catchy.

Jane

Coward.

Rigsby

What?

Jane

You honestly don't remember it?

Rigsby

Don't remember what?

Cho

He remembers.

Lisbon

He so remembers.

Rigsby

What?

Jane

It'll come to you.

Jane

You know what I predict?

Lisbon

Nope.

Jane

Guess.

Lisbon

Just tell me.

Jane

No, I think you should guess, it's good for you. (Lisbon gives him a look.) I predict that Brandon Fulton will pay a visit to the Hanson residence this evening.

Lisbon

You think? Wouldn't be too clever.

Jane

Love is not blind, but it's often pretty stupid.

Jane

Whoo. She was some woman. Make the mighty agent Lisbon blush like a school girl.

Lisbon

Please, I did not.

Jane

Oh, Mitch, I thought we'd worked through your doormat issues. [To Lisbon] Tell Cho to squeeze him a little, he knows things.

No, I don't.

Jane

Sure you do, Mitch.

Lisbon

You're not gonna like getting squeezed by Cho.

Lisbon

What do you think?

Jane

Oh, he's lying. They had an argument. You go out to celebrate with the man that financed your movie and only pay half the dinner bill?

Lisbon

Do you own a gun, Gabriel?

No. I like guns, but I'm afraid of blowing my own head off.

Jane

Palm Desert right here in California?

Lisbon

No.

Jane

Palm Desert's not in California?

Lisbon

No, you can't sneak off and talk to Sonny Battaglia.

Jane

Oh, I thought you meant Palm Desert wasn't in California. It is in California, right?

Lisbon

What did you learn?

Jane

She's scared. She's of Italian descent. She bites her nails. She doesn't like pets or pineapple.

Lisbon

Useful stuff.

Lisbon

Any money go missing lately?

Nope. And I keep tabs, trust me.

Jane

And why should we trust you?

It's just a phrase, like "you know".

Jane

What do I know?

No. You don't know anything I'm saying it's just a thing to say.

Jane

Oh, it's a figure of speech.

Right.

Jane

So we shouldn't trust you, really.

Yeah. No, you should.

Cho

Okay, two for two. How about mine?

Jane

Cho. [Cho hands Lisbon a present and Jane covers his eyes]

Lisbon

That's sweet, thank you.

Jane

I got it.

Lisbon

Okay. [Opens the present] Okay, what is it?

Jane

It's a mid- to high- end bottle of... wine-- aah, no, no, no. Champagne.

Lisbon

Yes.

Jane

Yup, there I go. [whispering to Cho] Re-gift?

Cho

It's a really good bottle. I don't drink it.

Jane

Do I detect a slight residue of grumpiness in you demeanor?

Lisbon

No.

Jane

I swear to you, Lisbon, your gift is on its way.

Lisbon

I am not grumpy and I don't give a damn about your supposed gift.

Jane

[To Rigsby] She's still grumpy with me, isn't she?

Rigsby

Not touching that.