Teresa Lisbon quotes from The Mentalist

A dead suspect, quarter-million dollars worth of damages, formal complaints of misconduct from the SPD and the Modesto city council!

Lisbon

Those damages were way padded.

[to Jane] Ever since the Tanner incident, you've been runnin' way too hot. I fear a terminal screw up is coming.

Lisbon

That's not gonna happen. I can handle him.

Can you? Maybe since he saved your life, you're going easy on him. Maybe you feel compelled to cut him some slack.

Lisbon

No, sir. That is absolutely not the case.

Jane

You're glad Bosco has the Red John case, aren't you?

Lisbon

Bosco is a good agent. He's as good as they come. It might not be such a bad thing that we're off the case for a while. We got too close.

Jane

Is that what your shrink tells you?

Lisbon

Everybody tells me that.

Jane

But your shrink did tell you that, didn't he?

Lisbon

Who's Miles Thorsen?

Jane

No one in particular.

Lisbon

This is what I'm talking about.

Jane

Oh. No, me too. You want no fuss, no mess, right? I am casting a wide, invisible net, the killer won't even know he's in it until it's too late.

Lisbon

Miles Thorsen is an invisible net?

Jane

Yes, he is.

Lisbon

No secrets, Jane. No lies, no tricks, no surprises. The truth.

Jane

Since when is that the rule?

Lisbon

Since I said so.

Jane

Or else what?

Lisbon

You're off the unit.

Jane

That's not leverage. This is my last case, remember. The only reason I'm still here is because I'm worried about how you guys would cope without me.

Lisbon

Oh, really? So we're lost without you, are we?

Jane

Well, yeah. Let's be honest here.

Lisbon

Let's go!

Lisbon

You're leaving?

Jane

Well, frankly if I can't use this job to seek some kind of personal revenge then, uh, there's not a whole lot here for me. I don't make anything better. I can't bring dead people back to life. What good do we do? We drive around California visiting unhappy people.

Grace

We're fighting evil and injustice.

Jane

And how's that going? Any progress lately?

Cho

We put bad guys away where they can't hurt people. That's good enough.

Jane

Nah. I was doing more good as a psychic. I was giving people hope at least. False hope, but hope anyway.

Lisbon

You're right. Best you leave. That way you can go back to being a full-time fraud and we can continue our useless jobs in peace.

Jane

Can I please continue working with you?

Lisbon

I thought you were quitting.

Jane

You know I didn't mean that.

Lisbon

So the job is worthwhile, is it?

Jane

Uh, it's not that. I mean, it' not that at all. It's just... I have nothing else to do.

Lisbon

No jokes. From now, there have to be boundaries.

Jane

Agreed.

Lisbon

I need to know that you can do your work and be effective without creating a mess that I have to clean up.

Jane

No mess, I swear.

Lisbon

On that basis, you can remain with the unit.

Jane

Thank you. [He hugs her]

Lisbon

How did it go with Bosco?

Jane

Good. It was, uh, it was very good. We had a frank exchange of views.

Lisbon

So he's gonna keep us in the loop?

Jane

No.

Lisbon

No?

Jane

Wouldn't direct me to the bathroom if my ass was on fire.

Jane

Well, I thought that went pretty well.

Lisbon

Great, yeah.

Jane

Highlight for me was definitely your speech. Passionate, articulate, strong.

Lisbon

Whatever

Lisbon

Sir, Crew and Batson manipulated us into arresting the wrong person. They bugged our offices and subverted our case. I don't think we did anything wrong. I think we should be commended.

[nods to Jane] Congratulations. You finally got her to drink the kool-aid.

Dr. Carmen

Do you know why counselling is mandatory for CBI agents who've been involved in a shooting?

Lisbon

Because nobody would come if it was voluntary?

Lisbon

Shall I recap the case, sleepyhead?

Jane

Kristin Marley, Lady Senator's aide, rumored romance with the senator's husband.

Lisbon

Very good.

Jane

Oh, I trained myself to hear and take in information while asleep.

Lisbon

The others told you?

Jane

Yes, they did.

Lisbon

You are taking over the McAdoo interview.

Grace

I'm totally ready for that. I can get him to confess to this.

Lisbon

Yeah. Maybe. Main thing is you keep him there long enough for us to search his car. Be friendly. He thinks he is a player. He'll live it up.

Grace

What do you mean, "be friendly"?

Lisbon

Need a map?

How did the Batson interview go?

Jane

Oh, that was very exciting.

[To Lisbon] What did he do?

Lisbon

Nothing that can't be repaired.

Jane

I didn't see it. Of course.

Lisbon

What?

Jane

He's in love with you.

Lisbon

Don't be silly.

Jane

I know, hard to fathom, but... uh, there's no accounting for taste, is there?

Lisbon

[throws a bags of donuts at Jane] Hush.