Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Jane

Hi, Lisbon.

Lisbon

I don't know what game you're playing, but I think you're getting carried away with this Olivier Gans thing.

Jane

How so?

Lisbon

I-I just got a call from the vice President of something or other of JG Allen Enterprises. They're up in arms about Gans.

Jane

Really?

Lisbon

They think he's trying to steal Turbo Wolf.

Jane

Well, he hasn't yet, but he might soon. We should meet at his hotel.

Lisbon

The imaginary man has a hotel?

Jane

That's right.

Lisbon

Is this hotel imaginary, too?

Jane

Oh no, very real. It's, uh, the Vista in Clearlake. I'll meet you there in an hour. Bye.

Jane

See that face? That's exactly why I didn't tell you the plan.

Lisbon

It's not a good plan.

Jane

It's not a good plan. It's a good enough plan, and Rigsby's wearing one of those ear thingies. I will talk him through the con. He'll be fine.

Lisbon

What if the killer doesn't show up?

Jane

Then we go back to old-fashioned police work. But this way, we get to enjoy some room service. Please, have a seat.

Jane

Enough with the cheese.

Rigsby

I'm hungry!

Jane

"They're not interested in provenance."

Rigsby

They're not concerned with provolone— provenance.

Lisbon

This is so annoying. I can't find my keys.

Jane

Mm. Did you check your desk?

Lisbon

Of course I—

Lisbon

Hmm.

Lisbon

[triumphantly, to Jane] Oh, here they are. Silly me.

Jane

Mm. You keep a hammer in your desk.

Lisbon

You only think you know everything about me.

Jane

Lisbon, you're distracted and you have an eager gleam in your eye. Either you have a breakthrough in the Volker case, or you're in love. Which is it?

Lisbon

I got Judge Davis to sign the warrant and Van Pelt should be getting Volker's records momentarily.

Jane

I was hoping it was love. You deserve happiness, but I'm glad for you anyway.

But as a recovering alcoholic, I know I can't make someone stop before they're ready. There but for the Grace of God.

Jane

Mm. Well, let's leave God out of it, shall we?

Jane

Hey Cho, you're freaking out the guests. Just relax with the copness.

Cho

I'm relaxed.

Jane

How'd it go with Volker?

Lisbon

Good. He gave up his DNA just like you said he would. He's behind this, Jane. I know it.

Jane

But?

Lisbon

When the grand jury investigation was dropped, Volker's lawyers had all the evidence and court documents sealed from the case, including Jones' deposition. I think there's something in there that Volker doesn't want us to know. If I could just get my hands on it...

Jane

Well, why can't you?

Lisbon

They're sealed documents, Jane. It's against the law.

Jane

Well, if you want to get Volker, you can't let that stop you.

Lisbon

What do you suggest?

Jane

Well, Ardiles is a Deputy D.A. He's gonna have the deposition.

Lisbon

Ardiles is not gonna stick his neck out for me.

Jane

Well, of course not. He's a smart lawyer. You have to get something on him that will make him help you.

Lisbon

Blackmail the deputy district attorney?

Jane

Sure. Why not?

Lisbon

Well, how could I get dirt on Ardiles?

Jane

Ask yourself this — who makes it their business to know everyone else's?

Lisbon

Hey. Any luck finding the kid?

Jane

Well, we gave his name and his photo to local police, and the FBI's department of missing persons, but it's like finding a needle in a stack of needles.

Lisbon

I heard you talked to his mother.

Jane

Yes. She thinks the worst. Hard not to agree with her. What about you? Burning the midnight oil, I see.

Lisbon

There's gotta be something here.

Jane

Mmh.

Lisbon

Jane, Amanda Shaw was my witness. I gave her my word that I'd protect her, and Volker had her killed.

Jane

Mr. Volker. Patrick Jane. I work with Teresa Lisbon.

Ah, yes. Mr. Jane. Nice to meet you. Any friend of Teresa's... She's a—she's a fascinating woman, isn't she?

Jane

Certainly. Well, that was impressive. Not only are you a super-successful businessman, but you're quite the vivid storyteller. For a moment there, I was splashing around in that puddle with Spike, growing some gills.

Is there something you needed?

Jane

Need? No. I just wanted to meet you while I have the chance.

Are you going somewhere?

Jane

No. But you are. After your arrest, things are bound to get a little hectic, and I probably won't have the chance to introduce myself. So here I am.

Very droll. But you and I both know that I'm not going to be arrested.

Jane

You sure about that?

I'm looking for Agent Lisbon.

Cho

Boss.

Lisbon

What are you doing here?

Such hostility. And here I thought we were mending fences.

Lisbon

Answer the question.

I came to ask you to drop this ridiculous investigation. I hate to see an officer of the law humiliated like this.

Lisbon

Cho, will you show Mr. Volker out of here?

Cho

Gladly.

I'm only looking out for your best interests.

Jane

No, you're not. You want us to think that you're gloating, but you're not. You're afraid.

Afraid?

Jane

Yeah.

Well, this certainly is a strange way of showing it.

Jane

I can see right through you. We were close, searching your offices like that. Too close. You want us to think that you're in control, that you're untouchable. But you're not. You're afraid of us. And you should be.

Lisbon

You think you're so mysterious. I know what you're doing in there.

Jane

Oh, really? What?

Lisbon

You're making a list, trying to figure out who it is that you've met that's Red John.

Jane

Not just met, shaken hands with.

Lisbon

How many people are on that list, anyway?

Jane

A lot.

Jane

How was the rest of the party?

Lisbon

Torture. Like it can't happen ever ever again.

Jane

Ten years, huh?

Lisbon

More, actually. One year with you counts as two.

Jane

We know that Red John was at Elliston Farm in 1988. That is a huge leap forward, Lisbon. Huge.

Lisbon

How so?

Jane

I recalled all the names of the 2,164 people that I met and shook hands with since Red John murdered my family. I might have missed one or two, but not many. 807 of those names were women. And Red John's probably not a woman. Another 949 were men that I had brief encounters with that I never saw or heard from again. That leaves 408 names. And Elliston Farm will exclude a whole bunch more. I'm getting close, Lisbon. I'm getting very close.

Lisbon

Tell me some of the names. There's gotta be some that are at the top of the list.

Jane

Sure. There's some interesting names.

Lisbon

Well, tell me.