Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Jane

Show Volker this sketch and watch his face.

Lisbon

I know what to do.

Jane

I know you do. You go girl!

Lisbon

Volker is not going to get away with this. I'm gonna get him. If not for the murder, then for whatever Amanda Shaw can give me. Tax evasion, fraud, unpaid parking tickets. I'm gonna bring in Amanda and lean on her.

Jane

Look at you! So tough! I'm getting goosebumps. Rawr.

Jane

Ooh, excuse me.

Sorry, Mister Jane.

Jane

Do I know you?

No. But I know you.

Lisbon

Jane! He's okay.

Jane

Have you got her?

Lisbon

Not yet.

Jane

She's... She's on foot.

Agent Kirkland, Homeland Security. I need rescue south of Orr lake, forest road 42 north 12.

Jane

Who is that guy?

Lisbon

Don't talk. Help is on the way.

Jane

Hurts.

Lisbon

Shh, it's okay.

Jane

You'll never know.

Lisbon

I'll never know what?

Jane

Whether I engineered the escape and abduction.

Lisbon

Trust me, I know.

Jane

You don't know. You just guess. And you didn't tell your new best friend Kirkland either.

Lisbon

I don't have any evidence, if I did I would put you in cuff myself.

Jane

No you wouldn't.

Lisbon

Try me.

Jane

Hahaha...

Lisbon

What's so funny?

Jane

Nothing. Sorry. All of it's worth it. She told me Red John and I are very much alike. That it's a wonder we weren't best friends from the moment we shook hands.

Lisbon

You've met Red John?

Jane

Yes. He's someone I know.

Jane

Yo, Chip. Front and center.

I'm starting to resent you.

Jane

Good. You a member of a street gang?

No, of course not.

Jane

Really? Did you kill this man?

No, I did not.

Jane

Liar. I can see it in your eyes. Arrest him, Lisbon.

Wait a minute. You can't do that.

Jane

Yeah, I'm just kidding. But next time you come across a dead body, Chip, show a little respect. Thank you.

Lisbon

I'm sorry. Uh, Rigsby, would you interview Mr. McGavin? Thank you. [to Jane] You know what? You can write my name down in that book.

Lisbon

What if you never actually met Red John?

Jane

I haven't just met him, I've shaken hands with him. And she wasn't lying, she didn't realise what she told me.

Lisbon

Am I in that book?

Jane

She said it's a wonder Red John and I didn't become friends. Now what we have, I consider a friendship. So, my friend, you are free and clear.

Lisbon

That's a relief.

Lisbon

Hi, Noah. Listen, we have a sit-

Jane

You know Lisbon I have a great idea. A brilliant idea. Excuse me, one second.

Lisbon

What brilliant idea?

Jane

Well, uhm, there isn't one. I just don't want you to send that kid to a foster home.

Lisbon

I don't have any choice.

Jane

There's always choices.

Lisbon

Okay, like what?

Jane

Let them go home. You don't have to charge her sister yet, do you? Just, just think about it for a while.

Lisbon

She broke the law. I already called the DA and Child Services.

Jane

Just let them go home.

Well, as I said, living room's exactly the same.

Jane

Well, not exactly. I like it.

Good, good. Let's take a look at the extra bedroom.

Jane

No, no need. I'm really feeling it here. I think I need to be alone with the house for a moment. You know just to check out its aura.

Aura?

Jane

Yeah. Well I'm not gonna buy a house unless we have compatible auras.

Of course.

Jane

Ten minutes.

Good. I'll be right outside.

Lisbon

What?

Jane

It's okay. You were talking in your sleep.

Lisbon

I was?

Jane

And drooling a little.

Lisbon

What was I saying?

Jane

Well—Someone's coming.

Lisbon

Jane. You can't obsess like this.

Jane

Obsess? I know that I've met Red John now. Shook his hand. I have what you coppers call a lead.

Lisbon

I think you're obsessing.

Jane

I think this puzzle box is the key. Whatever is in here was important enough to hide, but not valuable enough to put in that safe.

Cho

What do you think it is?

Jane

I don't know yet, it's a puzzle.

Lisbon

Cho, crack it open.

Jane

Oh, no no no no. It's my puzzle. All mine.

Hands in the air!

Jane

Already done.

Down on the ground!

Jane

Well... do—uh... Uh, hands in the air, or—or down on the ground? I'm a little confused.

Jane

Patrick Jane, consultant. This isn't my boss.

Lisbon

I am Teresa Lisbon and I am his boss.

Lisbon

Who's Olivier Gans?

Jane

Uh, I don't know. Made him up.