The Life and Times of Juniper Lee · Season 3
Pardon me lass, but wouldn't actually be trying to win this thing, would ya?!
And what if I am?
Have you completely lost your senses?! You're the Te Xuan Ze for pity's sake! Not only is that an unfair advantage, but you're attracting too much attention.
Oh please, I am totally working under the radar here. Bit by bit I am carefully, carefully, edging out the competition.
June! You just did 173 pull-ups! That's a new international record!
You're beating everyone like rugs, knock it off!
Fine! Buzz kill.
June.
Oh, uh, hey Taylor!
Ready to kick butt out there?
I don't know, a lot of these kids here seem pretty good.
[shows her the charm necklace] Maybe, this'll bring you some extra luck.
Wow, that's so nice of you! [sees Marcus watching them] But sorry I can't, I'm uh, allergic to silver! Yeah, I get hives! Big nasty hives! (Taylor looks at her up and down)
This is made of brass.
Oh, uh, brass even worse! I get the hives plus you know, uh blindness! But um, uh thanks though, really.
[appears beside Taylor] What is taking so long? [takes a bite out of a taco]
She wouldn't take the charm.
[he spits out his food after hearing this] I knew it! I knew it! You came on too strong and blew it, didn't you?!
Dad, dad, chill okay? I'm not through yet. [cut to award table, Taylor enchants the medals using the charm]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [Loki appears beside Taylor as a floating head] Don't enchant ALL of the medals, okay? I'll be up to my neck in brats I am not running a day care center down here!
The charm only transports "magical" beings, dad! Remember?! Duh! [he walks away]
Duh?! You will watch your tone with me kiddo, I did not raise-! [gets hit with a volley ball] Hey, I am floating here!
[laughing] Well, well, well. Looks like my little boy's brought a friend home for dinner! Bring her to me, now!
Dad, listen, maybe there's another way.
Taylor Valhalla Evermore, did you just say what I think you said?!
Seriously, dad she's smart, she's funny, she plays guitar, she's totally wicked on a skateboard! ...I like her.
[under his breath] Of all the stupid, excuse me, do you not want to rule the world?! Hmm? Everyone who wants to rule the world raise your hand! Mine's up! [threatening Taylor] What about yours?
Go ahead, ground me for all I care! It's not like I ever do anything! Or have any friends! Nobody wants to hang out with you when your dad's the creepy, Dark-Lord of Deception! [mockingly] Ooh, I'm the evil tyrant of the underworld, and I'm so bad, I breathe fire, and I have the body of a snake, ooh fear me, ooh. [Loki hits Taylor with a lightning bolt] AUGH! Uh...
Yes son, snake body and lightning that shoots from my hand.
[shoots a lightning bolt at Loki] Leave her alone!!!
[starts to wake up] Uh, Taylor? [sees him shooting lightning bolts, thinking they're aimed at her] Oh, Marcus was right about you! [comes at Taylor, intending to punch him]
It's not what you think! [dodges Juniper's blow] Please June, stop. [dodges yet another blow] You gotta let me explain!
Oh sure, go ahead, tell me the whole sad story while I'm plastering you all over this cave like wallpaper!
Don't let her trash talk ya like that! Get her, son!
Loki? You're Loki's son?
Kind of.
Kind of? So you're not the spawn of captain evil over here?
Well I...
You haven't kidnapped me and popped me down to the underworld?
Yes, but I...
Or was just throwing lightning volts at me, and acting all nice like you liked me trying to give me presents? (Loki is getting bored of listening to them and starts opening and closing his hand like a mouth) No, you're just the son of the big honking demon god of lies!
Oh, enough already!
[getting out of his cage] Ahh, never send a boy to do a man's job.
Yeah, you're right. [gets ready to fight] Ya shoulda sent a girl.
[after Taylor locks him up in the cage] Taylor, son, I know I haven't always been the best of fathers but I'm ready to change all that. I want us to be closer, buddies, pals, amigos. Hey I know, whaddya say we go outside, throw the football around for awhile, maybe cook up some burgers!
Give it up, old man. [breaks the cage's chains, on the way down to the void he says goodbye] See ya, June.
That does it! No television for a century mister!!! [falls into the void]
Hey June, did you see where Taylor went after the meet? He just kind of, disappeared.
Um, yeah, he had to go out of town. I think his dad got... transfered.
Wow, that was fast.
Not fast enough, that guy was evil.
Yeah well, maybe not entirely.
He was really cute!
[laughing] Yeah, so cute!
Major cute!
Crazy cute! [sees Marcus wilt at this]..But, you're way cuter! (Both smile, then realize what June just said [pause] Okay, gotta go!
Yeah, me too! [Both look back at each other and disappear off-screen at the same time]
And from now on we're going to have some ground rules! Because as long as long as you're living under MY roof, you are going to do as I say!
I'm not under your roof dad, I'm on top of it! [jumps off the cage and starts to do the backstroke away from it]
Where do you think you're going?! Hey, don't you float away from me, mister man! We are not done talking yet! Void or no void, you've got a curfew! [Taylor kicks his legs with his hands behind his head away from the cage] Have your butt home by eleven!
[after seeing Ophelia protest] She's not making a lick of sense.
Who cares?! It's buying us time, isn't it?!
[on the computer] I can't find anything on burping snails....They must be really rare!
All the people in Orchid Bay city will drown.
We all have to make sacrifices. [Juniper starts to take the triton away from him, when he won't give it up, they start to fight]...Wait, what am I doing? I have people for this. [whistles in a hench-monster]
Old woman, you are not worthy of such an honor. You do not deserve the title, "protector".
Neither do you!
I mean, did you even SEE how much soda I drank today? (Monroe looks over and sees a huge pile of soda cans)
Alright lad, (opens the chimney up) but I'm going to need your word as a gentlemen to... (Ray Ray comes out quickly and traps Monroe, then goes over to where June's trapped)
Hang on sis, I'll have ya outta there before ya can say dragon boogers! (cut to June inside)
Ray Ray? (cut back, Ray Ray lets her out) You rule Ray Ray!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Life and Times of Juniper Lee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
