Juniper Kim Lee quotes from The Life and Times of Juniper Lee

Juniper Lee

(pounding on the bathroom door) Dennis! C'mon! You said you'd be done in 5 minutes, it's been 15, I need to take a shower!

Dennis Lee

(heard inside the bathroom; groans) Get lost, dweeb! ...I'm shaving.

Juniper Lee

Ugh please, I have more mustache than you do. (Dennis opens the door and puts his head through, his chin and cheeks are covered in foam)

Dennis Lee

You said it, not me! (he wipes foam under June's nose and goes back in the bathroom, laughing, June wipes the foam off her lip)

Juniper Lee

Mom?...is that you...

Barbara Lee

Yes, honey?

Juniper Lee

I'm not feelin' very good...

Barbara Lee

Oh... not buying it. Get up!

Juniper Lee

Ugh. Was it that obvious?!

Barbara Lee

Oh, please, at least when your brother plays being sick, he fakes throwing up.

Ray Ray Lee

Man, what's with all the shoes? You're just going to space camp for a week, not a light year.

Juniper Lee

Are you serious? I need two pairs for active wear, three pairs for classroom activities, three pairs formal, two pairs sensible, and two.. Oh, man. What if we go hiking? All right, what do you think? The boots or the cross trainers?

Ray Ray Lee

Those are the boots that the blubber troll ate and we had to fish out of his poop.

Juniper Lee

Oh, ick. Cross trainers.

Monroe

Oh, look, it's a cute little rabbit, why hello there you wee creature, did you went to look carrots?

Juniper Lee

Yes, cute (pause)...and also sporting an extra pair of legs.

Oh man.

I'm out of practice.

Jasmine Lee

It is the way it has always been.

Juniper Lee

That’s impossible! (hits the barrier again, with full force)

Jasmine Lee

The Te Xuan Ze can never leave Orchid Bay. This is the way it has always been.

Juniper Lee

But... Ah-mah. I didn't choose to do this.

Jasmine Lee

None of us did.

Jody Irwin

I've got some bad news for you!

Juniper Lee

Oh... ...what is it?

Jody Irwin

Marcus isn't going to ask you to the dance.

Juniper Lee

Oh, oh man, are you sure?

Jody Irwin

Yes. He asked somebody else.

Juniper Lee

Who?

Jody Irwin

(thinking)... Me.

Juniper Lee

What?

Jody Irwin

I know.

Juniper Lee

What?!?

Jody Irwin

I know!

Juniper Lee

Huh, what do you mean he asked you? Why's he asking you? You said he was gonna ask me and now he's asking you? How did that happen? What did you say?

Jody Irwin

Well, I pretty much just ran away, but I think I said yes 'cus he already left the message about what time we're gonna meet!

Juniper Lee

Oh, this can't be happening. Why didn't you just say no?

Jody Irwin

I panicked! If I didn't say yes, he would have asked Melissa! She was circling us like a vulture the entire time! She was ready to pounce.

Ophelia Ramírez

The girl's like a starving dog at a raw meat buffet.

Juniper Lee

Augh... Great. My social life is officially dead.

Roger Radcliffe

(smiling) 'Cept! ... Jody's got a plan.

Ophelia Ramírez

(Smiling and nudging at Jody) Tell her about the plan!

Jody Irwin

Okay... Here's the deal. But once where there, I act really, really mean and dumb! And you step in, take my place and ta-daa! ... Everybody's happy.

Ophelia Ramírez

Good, huh? Veerry devious. I've never been so proud. (Beaming with pride)

Jody Irwin

But, if Marcus can make it pass my breath, I'm gonna take this egg salad sandwich and start chompin' it down like a coyote.

Juniper Lee

Uh, that's kinda gross.

Jody Irwin

I know! It's perfect!

Bigfoot! (walk away back to the campsite while she carries Roger)

A Brown-Back Mountain Troll.

Mom and Dad!

Jasmine Lee

Do as your Ah-mah says and leave it be. No cakes, no parties, no way, no-how! Got it?

Juniper Lee

I, uh... kinda wish you'd told us a little bit sooner. (door flinging open) SURPRISE!

Jasmine Lee

I'm gonna sell the both of you to warlocks.

Roger Radcliffe

Hey, Grandma Lee is the birthday girl! (plays "Happy Birthday to You")

Juniper Lee

(pushing her grandma) Ugh! C'mon, aunt Lilly and aunt Rose were asking for you all day!

Jasmine Lee

Oh, no... I can't see my sisters, not today. They make me feel old, and fat.

Jasmii-ine!

(happily) You're so old.

(disappointed) And fat! Look at your butt...

...Lot a junk in the trunk!

[both laugh at her]

Taylor Evermore

So uh, how come you're holding back?

Juniper Lee

What are you talking about?

Taylor Evermore

Oh, looks like you're letting that girl win.

Juniper Lee

[nervously] No I'm not, besides this whole fitness competition's kind of lame anyway, who cares right?

Taylor Evermore

[sarcastically] Right, [not sarcastically] it's just that, um, well you're way better than anybody else around here. Especially those girls...

Juniper Lee

You think? [smiles at him]

Taylor Evermore

Oh, yeah! Seems kind of wrong to let them represent our school in the finals, it'd be nice if we had somebody, you know, someone who's a better "rson. (looks at June)

JUNIPER LEE! Second and final kick!

Juniper Lee

Oh, gotta go!