Becky, wouldn't you rather have your baby in a place with less stereo and more...
(woman in labor down the hall screams)
Morphine?
Why is she screaming?
She's conscious.
S6 E1Blanche Delivers
(enters the bedroom and waking Dorothy) Dorothy, I was just wondering what being in labor feels like.
Well, how do you feel?
(serious) If I had any military secrets, I'd talk.
Showtime!
[Comes into the room while Rebecca is in labor] Am I crazy or did I hear screaming?
Yes and yes! It's Becky, she's having the baby.
I'll put on some corn.
Call the county hospital, tell them we'll be there in about 20 minutes.
And call the coach, the number's by the phone.
Fine, is there anything you want me to do?
Call the hospital, call the coach.
[Comes in] What's going on?
Something about a baby.
S6 E2Once, in St. Olaf
I've found my father! My natural father!
He's alive?
He's in Miami?
He's an earthling?
Dorothy, wait up you just walk so fast.
I'm in a hurry!
It's not sexy. [Dorothy looks at her] It's not. A woman should take tiny delicate steps as if to say "Yes, I may be slower than you, but maybe I'm worth waiting for."
Blanche, my mother is missing, it's the middle of the night, you have to excuse me if I don't have the rolling gait of a nymphomaniac.
Hi, Rose, how's it goin'?
[holding up a sock puppet and speaking in a high-pitched voice] Hi, Blanche!
God, I hate mornin' people.
Ever since I started working as a candy striper I've been giving all my patients the Traditional St. Olaf Fun Pack. Each one has a pack of gum, a bar of soap, and sock puppets. I like to pretend one of them's you and one of them's Dorothy. [mimicking Blanche in a high-pitched Southern accent] "Hi, Dorothy, how do you feel?"
[The real Dorothy comes up behind Rose and smiles as she observes Rose's "show."]
[mimicking Dorothy in a deep voice] "Oh, woe is me, I can't get a date. Nobody asks me out. Woe is me, woe..."
[The smile on Dorothy's face quickly fades, and she smacks Rose on the top of the head with the newspaper she is holding.]
[swatting puppet] BAD puppet!
[about Sophia] Have you found her?
Yes Blanche, about a half hour ago, but now I've hidden her again so you can find her.
[checking in Sophia] Name?
Zulu, Queen of the Dwarf People! [Rose writes this down on her clipboard]
Rose, I don't think you are up to this.
Now, where were we?
Name.
Rose Nylund.
[to hospital worker, thinking she's in heaven] Who are you? Are you an angel?
WWorker
I'm the guy that shaves everybody.
Amazing, that's not even mentioned in the Bible!
Rose, maybe you could help. We're searching the whole hospital. We can't find my mother.
Maybe she's lost!
Oh, I can't believe, you know, the last words I said to her were "Shut up, Zulu"!
What are you doing on this elevator?
I'm into easy listening, how the hell should I know?
S6 E3If At Last You Do Succeed...
You have a museum [in St. Olaf] where children go to learn about cheese?
Hey, it's better than them learning about it in the streets!
[on a St. Olaf plot to end World War II] The plan was, we'd drop these highly trained attack cows behind enemy lines. Problem is, it wasn't until they were airborne that we realized, cows can't pull a ripcord!
Oh, Sophia, no bingo tonight?
I'm staying home to try to recapture my lost youth. ... I see you haven't got it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.