The Golden Girls · Season 6, Episode 1
“Blanche Delivers” · Season 6, Episode 1
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (5), Rebecca (5), Sophia Petrillo (4), Rose Nylund (3), Blanche Devereaux (2)
What is taking so long? It's been hours.
It took me three and a half days to have Dorothy. [pause] I finally coaxed her out with a pork chop.
You know, Ma, you're really making me feel very bad. You keep telling me how hard it was to have me and how long it took.
Did I mention the colic?
Ma, you're hurting my feelings.
Not as much as you hurt my oonie.
[looks around in embarrassment] MA!
Oh, it doesn’t matter what your parents want, Rose, you’re never going to make them happy. They’re just gonna nag you and nag you until you want to grab their throats and choke 'em, but you don’t because you’re in a hospital with resuscitating equipment!!!
[looking unamused, though knowing that she was targeted] In other words, Rose, hang up the skates.
Oh Sophia, Big-Foot... thank you! I mean, you’re terrific! You made me realize you don’t have to please your parents. I don’t know how I can thank you. No more ice-skating! And I’m not gonna go over Niagara Falls in a barrel!
No, Rose, that you should do.
[screaming from labor pains] Oh... ohh... ohhh... YIKES!
[knocks on wall behind her head] Blanche, cut it out. I'm trying to get some sleep.
I'm going to have my baby in a natural birthing center with no painkillers.
Becky, honey, I told you where babies come from, did I ever mention where they come out?
Becky, wouldn't you rather have your baby in a place with less stereo and more...
(woman in labor down the hall screams)
Morphine?
Why is she screaming?
She's conscious.
(enters the bedroom and waking Dorothy) Dorothy, I was just wondering what being in labor feels like.
Well, how do you feel?
(serious) If I had any military secrets, I'd talk.
Showtime!
[Comes into the room while Rebecca is in labor] Am I crazy or did I hear screaming?
Yes and yes! It's Becky, she's having the baby.
I'll put on some corn.
Call the county hospital, tell them we'll be there in about 20 minutes.
And call the coach, the number's by the phone.
Fine, is there anything you want me to do?
Call the hospital, call the coach.
[Comes in] What's going on?
Something about a baby.
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