TV show quotes
Hello, my name is Mary Ellen.
Hi, Mary Ellen. You're special.
Thank you. You're special too. Do you know why? Because there's no one else in the world like you. Do you understand?
[To Sophia] Only an idiot wouldn't understand that.
[Stands up] Mary Ellen, I'm completely lost. Could you run that by me again?
After the lecture, Rose. Just like last week.
[to Miles' daughter] Oh, Caroline, one year after your mother's demise is more than respectable. Why, I've had people call me when their wife was in intensive care! Granted, these men were not pillars of their community.
Boy! Mother Devereaux was dead set against me marrying George. She wanted her little boy to marry a virgin.
How did she know you weren't?
Maybe it was all those Honk if You've Had Blanche Bumper Stickers.
Dorothy, do we know anybody named Cecelia?
Your cousin, Ma. She only has weeks to live.
Oh. Next time I'll accept the charges.
[returning from a date with Miles to see The Glass Menagerie] Frankly, I was a little disappointed.
Really?
Yeah. When you told me you were taking me to a revival of Tennessee Williams, I was expecting something more along the lines of a seance.
[laughing] Rose, I have never met anyone like you!
Check the cornfield on Hee Haw.
[on her scheme to put a fake ad in the paper for a Mercedes for sale, in order to meet men] I'm renting [a Mercedes] and pretending it's for sale. All day tomorrow, men are going to be showing up here for a test drive! You can tell a lot about a man by the way he drives.
You know, that's true. Sometimes Stan couldn't even get the key in the ignition.
[looking at old family photos] Ah, look, the Jersey shore, summer 1939.
Pop sure loved playing with you kids... why do I look so upset?
Oh Ma, don't you remember? Pop was a big fan of Jean Harlow's back then, you hated it when he made sand breasts in front of the children.
[about Sophia] Oh, damn it, I hate watching what this is doing to her.
I hate watching what it's doing to you.
I hate watching those FBI warnings at the beginning of video rentals.
[Sophia and Dorothy return from a visit to the doctor]
Sophia, Dorothy, how'd it go at the doctor's?
It was great. He says that Ma's memory problem could be related to a nutritional imbalance, so he put her on a special diet and if she follows it, she'll be fine from here on out.
[sarcastically] Oh, lucky me, I can remember from now on, my whole past is gone! I could have slept with JFK and don't even know it!
Ma, I don't think so, you're not mentioned in any of the books.
Well, that doesn't necessarily mean anything...
You know, I hate getting old. You always seem to be losing something. First, it's your eyesight. Then people are telling you to turn down the TV set when you can barely hear it, and you could live with that. But this, they're trying to take something from me that I just won't give. I can't let this happen, Dorothy. I can't lose my Sal, not again.
Isn't it good to be back in the old neighborhood, Dorothy? Watching the kids play stickball on the corner?
Ma, they were beating a man! That was sort of why I called the police.
I need the professional care of the most talented hairdresser in Miami - Robert. Oh, he's brilliant. Do you know, he was the first one ever to use mousse?
I'd check my facts if I were you, Blanche. Mr. Ingrid of St. Olaf has been using mousse ever since I can remember. Of course, it's his own professional secret which part of the moose he uses. But it'll keep your hair in place in winds up to 130 miles an hour!
I just don't believe you, Rose!
Ask Conway Twitty!
Oh, here you all are!
How'd your physical go?
Oh, just fine. The doctor just could not believe it when I told him my age.
Why? What age did you tell him?
A lullaby my mother used to sing to me when I was a little girl. So when I'm scared or alone, I sing it, and it gives me courage.
No song is going to help me.
[singing] Over there, over there, send the word, send the word over there, that the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are com...
THAT is the lullaby that your mother sang to you?
Well, it was the only song she knew. During World War I, she gave out donuts and coffee to the doughboys before they boarded the trains for Europe. It works, truly! She said no one can be scared when they hear that song...except maybe the Kaiser.
I've been to enough funerals to see how they make up dead people. They look like clowns. You expect to see a dozen of them jump out of one coffin.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
