[comes into the kitchen dressed in cowgirl costume] Oh, Dorothy, by any chance did you borrow my pearl-handled six-shooter?
Blanche, you look ridiculous!
Oh, I do not! I'm a cowgirl! Yippie-i-o-K-Y!
Ki-yay.
Whatever.
“Great Expectations” · Season 5, Episode 13
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (4), Rose Nylund (3), Sophia Petrillo (3), Blanche Devereaux (2)
All right, all right, I can pick up a cue. Picture it: Sicily, 1912. A beautiful young peasant girl with clear olive skin meets an exciting but penniless Spanish artist. There's an instant attraction. They laugh, they sing, they slam down a few boilermakers. Shortly afterwards he's arrested for showing her how he can hold his pallete without using his hands... but I digress. He paints her portrait and they make passionate love. She spends much of the next day in the shower with a loofah sponge scrubbing his fingerprints off her body. She sees the portrait and is insulted. It looks nothing like her, and she storms out of his life forever. That peasant girl was me. And that painter... was Pablo Picasso.
Ma, I have a feeling you're lying.
Be positive, Dorothy.
OK, I'm POSITIVE you're lying!
TGThinking Group
[in unison] You're special.
You're nuts.
What's the point of wearing this if I've got nothing to put in it?
I say that every morning when I'm putting on my bra.
Dorothy, in times like these, you have to hold on to your faith. Just like Hans Gluckenflanken: St. Olaf's greatest explorer.
Rose, please, let me have a little recovery time before you start a St. Olaf story--
You see, Hans Gluckenflanken, set out for Florida, to find the Fountain of Intelligence. Unfortunately, when he got to Duluth he took a left, instead of a right and wound up back in St. Olaf. That's how he got his nickname, Wrong Way Gluckenflanken.
Rose, how is this a story about faith?
Well, when he got back it was the dead of winter. Tired and hungry, but still clinging to his belief that he would find the Fountain of Intelligence, he saw the miracle water, trickling out of the ground, and he fell to his knees and tasted it. Unfortunately, it was a broken sewer main. Two days later, he died of cholera.
What is the point, Rose?
He was positive he had found the Fountain of Intelligence. In fact, his dying words were, "I think I've learned something from this."
MEMary Ellen
Hello, my name is Mary Ellen.
TGThinking Group
Hi, Mary Ellen. You're special.
MEMary Ellen
Thank you. You're special too. Do you know why? Because there's no one else in the world like you. Do you understand?
[To Sophia] Only an idiot wouldn't understand that.
[Stands up] Mary Ellen, I'm completely lost. Could you run that by me again?
MEMary Ellen
After the lecture, Rose. Just like last week.
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