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A character in The Critic

Jeremy Hawke quotes from The Critic

Voiced by Maurice LaMarche · 6 quotes

Jeremy Hawke

Voiced by Maurice LaMarche

The Critic · 167 quotes

Tied for 6th most-quoted character in The Critic: in 6 of its 167 quotes
Most scenes with: Jay Sherman (2)

Lines by Jeremy Hawke 3

(after Jay tells Jeremy that he's going to marry Valerie Fox): Bubbe, never marry an actress. And never do blackface at the NAACP Image awards. Two things I've learned from experience.

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I was in a student film once. Well, it wasn't a student film actually, although it had several women dressed as cheerleaders. I played Professor Spankum.

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It's just a gun for God's sake, not a bloody Xerox machine!

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Scenes with Jeremy Hawke 3

Jay

Why are you telling me this?

Jeremy

Because you’re the only decent guy I’ve met in this dreadful country. I love you, mate.

Jay

Wow. That's twice in one day.

Vlada

I love you too!

Jay

You just love my money.

Vlada

That is true, but it is a love that will never die.

S1 E1 Pilot
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Jay

I've never felt so wimpy in my whole life. (to Jeremy): How come you never question your manhood.

Jeremy

I sleep with many beautiful women, I drive fast cars, and carry an unlicensed gun. I play judge, jury, and executioner for this scum-filled world.

Jay

But that's in the movies. That's not reality.

Jeremy

They're not all movies. One was an episode of The Commish.

S1 E8 Marathon Mensch
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Jeremy

(Barges in with a Bazooka) So you're the nine liberal judges who outlawed unreasonable search and seizure.

SCSupreme Court Judge

Souter made us do it! (All point to Souter)

Jeremy

You better lock the doors, 'cause we'll be rewriting some laws tonight.

From Miserable

Dialogues with Jeremy
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More The Critic characters

All The Critic quotes →
Jay ShermanJon Lovitz · 52 quotes Franklin ShermanGerrit Graham · 26 quotes Duke PhillipsCharles Napier · 15 quotes Alice TompkinsPark Overall · 9 quotes Eleanor ShermanJudith Ivey · 8 quotes Margo ShermanNancy Cartwright · 6 quotes ArdethBrenda Vaccaro · 5 quotes Doris GrossmanDoris Grau · 5 quotes Marty ShermanChristine Cavanaugh · 5 quotes Penny TompkinsRussi Taylor · 5 quotes Humphrey the HippoTress MacNeille · 4 quotes Principal MangosuthuMaurice LaMarche · 4 quotes

These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Critic pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.