Doris Grossman quotes from The Critic

(On the phone) Jay, it’s Doris. I’m at the morgue. Could you come down and tell them I’m not dead? They don’t believe me.

(Watching the musical "Hunch") I shaved for this?

(Takes a deep breath) Mmmm ... smoke. (Walks in a room on fire) It looks like Hell, but it smells like Heaven.

Kiss my surprisingly firm butt.

Jay

Doris, I can’t lose this job. It’s all I know how to do.

Doris

Ah, come on. Everyone has hidden talents. Like me. I’m a whiz with smoke rings. Watch.

(Doris inhales from her cigarette and blows out a spiraling ring of smoke that transforms into a demonic-like shape)

Doris

That was supposed to be a bunny.