Jay and Jeremy in “Marathon Mensch”

I've never felt so wimpy in my whole life. (to Jeremy): How come you never question your manhood.

I sleep with many beautiful women, I drive fast cars, and carry an unlicensed gun. I play judge, jury, and executioner for this scum-filled world.

But that's in the movies. That's not reality.

They're not all movies. One was an episode of The Commish.