[to a crowd of his fans] Hey, good to see ya! I love you guys. You ARE America. True patriots. Hey, do you wanna meet someone–someone very special to me? Yeah? All right, come on down here, buddy. [Ryan floats down] All right, everyone. This little guy here… is my son, Ryan.
[The crowd cheers and claps, except for a Starlighter with a water bottle]
WBWater Bottle Guy
FUCK YOU, FASCIST!
[He throws the bottle at Ryan, much to the crowd's shock and disgust. Homelander blows his head apart on the spot, leaving everyone in stunned silence for a moment.]
TTodd
Yeah… YEAH! YEAH!! [laughs]
[The rest of the crowd joins him in cheering. Homelander looks genuinely surprised, but then grins and laughs.]
Listen, Ryan, I got a lot to say and fuck-all time to say it. I got a lorry out back. I can get you out of here.
What are you talking about?
I know you're angry with me, and you got every right to be. But you know how dangerous Homelander is.
Ryan, he–he murdered some poor sod right in front of your eyes!
But that guy was a pedophile.
Ryan, it ain't true. He's lyin' to ya. Let me take ya to Grace, alright? And then you don't gotta see me no more... Please, son. I'm beggin' ya. It's what your Mum would want.
[walking into the room] "No" means "no", William. This isn't the Neverland Ranch. Don't worry. Nothing bad's gonna happen, right? [pause] Oh... Seems it already has. Look at that big, black mass curdling around your brain. What do you got, six months? Less? It's too bad, we're not gonna have that last dance together. I'll miss us.
Bloody hell, you wank to your own voice, don't ya?
That's the spirit, champ.
[Hughie is left behind as the Boys rescue Frenchie and Kimiko from being killed by Neuman's daughter, Zoe, who is revealed to be a Supe]
Thank Christ. Can we go now? [recoils in shock when he sees Neuman] Jesus!
You gotta teach Butcher the meaning of the word "covert". He just got made by a 12-year-old.
You mean Zoe, who just murdered two guys? Vic, you–you shot your own daughter up with V? How could you do that to her?
I needed to keep her safe.
Safe? You turned her into a fucking monster. Like you.
I'm sorry. That sounds like the pot calling the kettle a teleporting dude with his dick out.
Worst mistake I ever made. [pause] Vic, you and me, we were… We were like family. I mean… Was everything just… bullshit?
I almost told you once. That night of the blackout, you remember? You brought every bodega snack you could carry for Zoe. We played Uno with her for hours until the lights came back on. And I thought… you were one of my closest friends. I mean, hell, you're dating a Supe. If anyone would understand, it'd be you, right?
Scared you'd have to pop my head.
I was scared to lose you. [Hughie sighs] I always cared about you, Hughie. That part was real.
[Hughie splashes acid onto Neuman, which only manages to burn a hole in her business suit]
Seriously? [scoffs] I have to be on TV in, like, ten minutes, you fuckin' asshole!
We're gonna out you! We're gonna go to the press, tell them you blew up Congress! I still–I still got the Red River files!
Okay, okay, okay. Have you ever seen WarGames? What am I saying, look at you. Of course you've seen fucking WarGames.
Mutually assured destruction. I hurt you, you out me. You out me, I kill everyone you've ever loved. The only thing that makes sense is a truce.
[Butcher sneaks up to Neuman's right with a gun aimed at her]
[He shoots Neuman in the head. Hughie ducks for cover as the bullet bounces off Neuman and ricochets off the walls inside the van.]
[groans] How is it you guys are actually getting worse at your jobs? [hears her phone chime and checks it] Mmm. They just called Arizona. Guess I better go change.
JKJoe Kessler
Billy Butcher.
Joe Kessler. Fuck me, how long's it been?
I'd say eleven years, but officially speaking, none of that shit show ever happened.
Then how come I remember you high on opium, rimmin' out the General's wife?
Well, fuck you. [laughs along with Butcher and hugs him] Hey, let me buy you a bad cup of coffee.
[Cut to Butcher and Kessler sitting in a break room]
Demoted from your own fucking team. What's your shitty code name again?
Oof. Who came up with that shit? Why you putting up with it? Walk away.
No, my son, I've got plans and schemes. I'll be back at the head of the table in no time.
Well, you better. You know, a lot of the guys are thinking you got benched at the worst possible time. You know, Mallory's so focused on killing the VP-elect 'cause that's what Singer wants, and half of goddamn Langley's on it.
Well, you know Grace. She's always been a bit of a political animal.
And what are you focused on?
Homelander. He killed that poor cunt in broad daylight, and they fuckin' cheered. I mean, what d'you think that taught him, eh? No. We're whistlin' away towards a fuckin' apocalypse, and Grace's eye ain't on the ball.
You had a clean shot at him, right? With Soldier Boy? You didn't take it. Was your eye on the ball?
Why do I get the feeling we ain't just bumped into each other?
You remember the Panjshir Valley?
Yeah. Pretty hard to forget.
You dragged me out of there and dropped how many bodies to do it, without giving it a second fucking thought.
And yet you still didn't name your son after me, eh?
We need someone like you, Billy. Right fucking now. Before the Supes start rounding us up and dumping us off in camps.
[to Homelander] Sir, after that debacle at Godolkin–thank you again for saving my life–the board felt we should find new candidates for The Seven, ASAP. The selection committee has narrowed it down to 25 choices.
[Ashley switches to a Supe leaderboard on the monitor. Homelander has his back turned towards her.]
Um… Okay, great. If we're going purely on socials, I might suggest Talon out of Redlands.
Pass. She's a butterface. Her body's on point, but her face...
Yeah, I get it. Thank you so much for explaining. [under her breath] Chauvinist prick. [looks at Hyperion's profile] Ugh, not that slutty cum rag.
[She clicks on the profile of a male Supe named Dogknott]
Hold up, I thought he ate a dog.
He ate out a dog. [A-Train and Ashley give concerned looks] It's a big difference.
[Ashley clicks on the next profile, which shows…]
Sister Sage? Hell no. She was with me in Teenage Kix for, like, barely a year before they canned her ass.
She's the world's smartest person. She's not smart enough to know when to shut her mouth. [looks at the profile of a white male Supe named…] Wrangler. Isn't he a–
Texas nutjob. The San Antonio office had to cover up those migrant murders.
Of course, he bumps us with suburban women and white men over 50. Amazing choice, sir.
Yeah, I totally agree. He's a mensch. Did I use that word right? Mensch?
[to Ashley] You just said he was crazy.
What I meant was we would be crazy to, you know, not bring him in.
[beat; groans] I am surrounded by sycophants and fucking imbeciles!
It's just that you make a lot of really great points, sir.
Deep, just… [beat; turns chair around to face The Deep] Blow A-Train.
I'm not kidding. Go over there, pull out A-Train's cock and blow him.
[The Deep just scoffs before reluctantly getting up from his chair to stand next to A-Train]
[A-Train stands up and faces The Deep, who kneels down to eye level with A-Train's crotch. Ashley is surprisingly turned on and grins.]
[chuckles; to A-Train] Sex is just a spectrum, right, bro?
Get off your fucking knees!
[The Deep quickly gets up and returns to his seat]
This is exactly what I'm talking about. Not one of you has the stomach to challenge anything I say. [gets up and starts walking out of the conference room] Oh, my God. I have gotta carry this entire fucking company on my shoulders.
[Homelander stops for a moment, then sighs and leaves]
[notices A-Train staring at him] I wasn't gonna do it.
[The Seven, accompanied by Sister Sage, are with three HomeTeamer supporters waiting to meet Homelander. One of the supporters is Monique's ex-boyfriend, Todd.]
Sage, it's good to see you again. [quietly] What the fuck are you doing here?
Homelander's tired of being surrounded by morons.
[walking into the room] Hello, everyone.
TTodd
Homelander! I just wanna say, it's a huge honor to be here with you…
Right. Now, I can't stay long, but I heard that you are some of my biggest fans, supporting me when others turned their backs. I just wanted to personally say… Thank you for your devotion. And your sacrifice.
TTodd
W... Well, really, it's you who gives so much to…
[holds up finger to silence Todd] You people are more than just fans. You're martyrs to the greatest cause on Earth. [to The Deep] Open it.
You got it. [reaches into a duffle bag and pulls out three baseball bats] Whoa. Bats.
Yeah. I want you to take these bats and beat these gentlemen to death.
[The Seven all glance nervously at the HomeTeamers, who look at each other fearfully]
TTodd
[beat; laughing] You're funny.
Oh, it's like one of your tests. You want us to say no.
No, Deep. This is not a test. [hands a bat each to A-Train and Black Noir II] I want you to beat these gentlemen to death... now.
TTodd
I think maybe we should go.
[Black Noir II bashes the head of a HomeTeamer who attempts to leave]
[to Black Noir II, who holds up his bloody bat] Mm-hmm.
[Todd watches The Deep beat the other HomeTeamer to death with a bat. Black Noir II repeatedly swings at the body of the HomeTeamer he just killed. A-Train looks on with disapproval while Homelander leaves.]
[A-Train runs towards the door and stands in Todd's way, allowing Black Noir II to sneak up from behind and fatally bash Todd in the back of the head with his bat.]
Stay here. Wait for further instructions. [exits the room]
[beat] Yo, what the fuck?! That was so fucked up, you guys!
[Butcher has just informed the Boys he has six months to live]
Jesus. You're just telling us now? Have you seen any specialists? Have you…
[Kimiko walks into the Boys' office]
MSMother's Milk
How long you got?
It's none of your fuckin' business. I'm not sure why I'm tellin' you at all.
[signing to Frenchie] What's going on?
[Frenchie makes a throat-slitting gesture]
Let's just say I got an angel on my shoulder. And she's a right bloody nag.
Butcher, I tried to warn you that that shit was poison!
MSMother's Milk
Alright! [to Butcher] A word.
[M.M. opens the door and leads Butcher out of the Boys' office into a hallway]
MSMother's Milk
You're done.
MSMother's Milk
Fired. Grab your shit and get the fuck out.
I level with you lot and this is the thanks I get. Fuck me. See what bein' honest gets ya?
MSMother's Milk
Honest? Motherfucker, you've been lying to us for the last six months!
Not tellin' ain't lyin'. Look, you need all the help you can get, mate.
MSMother's Milk
Not from you. You're a liability, Butcher.
I ain't gonna let this stand, then. The Boys is mine.
MSMother's Milk
Says a dying man with one last bluff. Now grab your shit and get the fuck out. Or I'll throw you out.
[M.M. hears the floor creaking, turns his head and sees Hughie standing by the door]
MSMother's Milk
I don't wanna hear it. He's out. You can join him if you don't like it.
[The Vought marketing team pitches Ryan's new Supe identity]
EEvan
Small-town kid grows up on a Montana ranch with his mom. On the surface, he's an everyday all-American boy.
But deep in his heart, he knows he's different, special. He's always asking himself, "Who am I?" Then one day, that question is answered when Homelander flies down from the sky and says, with tears in his eyes…
…and says proudly, [Homelander mouths along with Seth and grins] "Son, it's time for you to take your place by my side".
EEvan
And for Ryan it feels surprising, yet inevitable. He always knew he was destined for greatness.
Because he came from greatness!
[Seth unveils a poster of Ryan wearing a supersuit that looks identical to Homelander's with the Supe name, Homeboy]
Oooh! [chuckles and claps] Wow. [to Ryan] Oh, buddy, can you believe that? Wh–What do you think?
You guess? [chuckles] Uh… I think it looks amazing.
Oh, so amazing. Really marketable.
AAAlso Ashley
So marketable.
It blows, harder than Nancy Reagan on the MGM backlot.
I'm sorry, why are you here?
Vought got rid of most of the sidekicks after Gunpowder. The settlements exceeded profitability.
Yeah, but I don't think Ryan is gonna file an HR complaint against me. [laughs with the rest of the marketing team]
Ryan is the first natural-born superhero, and his brand needs to reflect that. He's not one of Vought's lab rat freaks. He was chosen by fate, God, whatever… to be the one who saves the world.
Yes. But let's not forget why he is special, shall we? He's my son. Chosen by God, sure, but uh… made by me.
The chosen one narrative only works if he stands alone. Harry Potter, Neo, Luke Skywalker. Hollywood's trained people to fall in love with white boy lone saviors. So, America will want to fall in love with Ryan.
[Sage hands Ryan her iPad, which shows a crime itinerary document]
It's a crime itinerary. Your first save. Congratulations, son. [whispering to Sage] I'm not on the call sheet.
You wanted a kingdom for your son. I'm helping you get it.
[beat] Excellent. Just as we discussed. Feel free to move forward.
Thanks. [pulls out cell phone; to Homelander] Ah, if you don't mind? [takes a quick selfie with Homelander; to Ashley] I'm here because Homelander wants me here. Because he trusts me.
[enters elevator with Sage] Listen. I know you're the smartest woman on Earth–
Let me give you some advice. You know, girls supporting girls. You cannot talk to Homelander like that.
I'm telling him the truth. You're so afraid of him, you've plucked yourself bald. If I were you, I'd make myself useful. You know, get some lactation going, let him suck on those titties before you end up like Madelyn Stillwell.
[The Deep gets in the elevator when the doors open]
Oh, Ashley, hey. What's up? Just the girl boss I wanted to see. I've been looking everywhere for you. Hey, so I heard that Ryan's doing his first solo save. I wanna talk to you about something. I have this idea. [clears throat] Okay, so what if–and just hear me out on this–what if I was there? That's it. That's the pitch.
Hmm. You wanna join a family-friendly PG save? While PETA still has you on their bestiality watchlist? [smiling] I swear to God. Stupid people who think they're smart make me want to eat my own shit!
[Ashley walks out the elevator, leaving Sage alone with The Deep]
Why do you let her talk to you like that?
She's just a bitch. It's probably that time of the month. It's like a full moon thing, isn't it?
You're a genetically superior being, and she's the evolutionary equivalent of a capybara.
It's a giant rodent from South America.
You're better than her. Act like it. [pause; elevator doors open] And you should be at the save. It's a good idea. [walks out of elevator]
[Sister Sage meets a conspiracy theorist Supe named Firecracker at a TruthCon convention]
Do you actually believe all of this? Or is it just bullshit smeared on top of a personal vendetta?
Ain't you a little mouthy one.
Appreciate the subtextual racism there, but I'm a Supe. Sister Sage. I work with Homelander.
Bullshit. [Sage shows her the selfie she took with Homelander] Goddamn! Is he here?!
Of course not. He wouldn't be caught dead with these ringworm-infested cousin fuckers. Though there's a chance you could meet him. First, I wanna see your powers though.
[Firecracker snaps her fingers, causing small sparks to fly from her fingertips]
Wow, that is... lackluster.
Look, what's important is… what are you selling?
[Butcher and M.M. are revealed to be eavesdropping on them from a distance]
I'm here to share the truth and nothing but.
Did I stutter? [pause; scoffs when Sage is about to leave] Purpose. I sell purpose. These people got nothing. Maybe they lost a job or a house or a kid to Oxy. Politicians don't give a shit. Mainstream media tells them to be ashamed of their skin color, so I bring them together, tell them a story, give them a purpose. Which would you rather believe? That you belong to a community of warriors battling a secret evil, or that you're a lonely, inconsequential nobody that no one will ever remember?
[chuckles] Deep's Blue Sea Room. 9:00 p.m.
[Butcher and M.M. remove their earpieces and walk off once Sage is out of sight]
Sage has got no powers, right?
MSMother's Milk
Besides her brains? Nope.
So, why all the sneakin' around shite? Let's just grab her, work her over and rumble what we need.
MSMother's Milk
Hey. This is surveillance only, okay?
Alright, you sit tight and watch me do your job.
MSMother's Milk
Alright, enough.
[M.M. grabs Butcher by the neck and drags him outside]
Get your fuckin' hands off me!
MSMother's Milk
Just go home, alright?
Or what? We have a Barney?! Well, come on, then! Have a go!
MSMother's Milk
Butcher, for fuck's sake.
You've been gaggin' for it. Ever since Soldier Boy. Ten pounds of C4 with an inch fuse pokin' out your arse, you are! Well, c'mon, then! Have at it, son!
MSMother's Milk
'Cause that's the only way you feel any regret, is to get it beaten into you.
You're a shit skipper, you are. Hughie's fucked off, Kimiko's hammered. We've been here for hours and still know fuck all! You're gonna get this bloody lot killed. You can't eat, you can't sleep, and you ain't willin' to do what it takes to run this mob 'cause you ain't got the bollocks, son.
MSMother's Milk
Nice try, Butcher. But it ain't gonna work.
Yeah, ain't that what your wife said?
[M.M. punches Butcher in the face. Butcher just smiles and allows M.M. to continue punching him until he falls to the ground.]
MSMother's Milk
All that bullshit you pulled, and the mess you always leave behind for me to clean up. You know why I kept coming back? 'Cause I thought maybe this time, it'll be a little different. All the fucking shit we've been through together, man. I thought maybe this time, maybe you and I could just… just be fucking brothers again! [pause] Just go home, man.
[Homelander finds Ryan crying into a pillow after his first save results in the accidental death of a Vought stuntman]
Who wants a creamy, delicious milkshake? Hmm? [pause; Ryan continues crying] Oh, Ryan… Okay, come on. Come on. It's okay. Don't worry, okay? Don't worry. You'll get plenty of solo saves, I promise. But I really do think that my being there is good for your numbers.
That's what you're upset about? Koy? [sighs] Okay. Accidents happen all the time, okay? Humans are fragile. You can't save them all.
Look, Koy died doing what he loved, okay? It'll be better next time.
No, I'm never doing that again.
Jesus Christ. How many times do I have to tell you?! They're only human, Ryan! Toys! [sighs] You can't go around feeling bad about what you are 'cause a few things break. Who cares? You are destined for so much more, you understand? You're chosen, young man. Sooner or later, you gotta accept it.
[Butcher and Kessler discuss their plan to rescue Ryan while the television shows Homelander holding a rally outside Vought Tower]
There’s enough here to take down a bull elephant.
Ten bull elephants. I’m not takin' any chances. How you gonna get close enough to use it?
If I can get Ryan here, I can dose him. You just be ready.
He’s not gonna be real happy with us when he wakes up.
Grace built the Hazlet Safe House with the specific intention of hot-boxin' Supes. It’ll hold Ryan.
Then we better work fast. Like when we deprogrammed them two ISIL lads, eh?
And if he doesn’t listen to us?
[Butcher gets momentarily distracted when he sees Homelander on TV bring Ryan up on stage]
…Then we keep him high on halothane till he does. Now listen here, Joe. We get Ryan’s head clear, and that’s it, alright? Nothing about trainin' him up to top Homelander.
I mean it, Joe. Would you train your boy up to be a killer?
Listen, brother. You don’t trust me, go back to your team. Oh, wait.
[Homelander and Sister Sage watch Firecracker filming a Vought promo from a distance]
Did you know that these “vaccines” that they’re giving out at the Starlight House actually cause autism? And–And not that cool Rain Man autism that makes you good at countin' cards and shit.
Seems like she fell off her jet ski one too many times.
Now that Starlight’s back leading the Starlighters, we need her.
That is gonna shut them up?
No, she’s gonna make them louder. Are you gonna trust me or not?
Is there a problem? ‘Cause this is a huge day for you, but you seem to have something firmly lodged up your asshole.
This spandex is. Up my ass and in a camel toe. The whole point was for me to stay behind the scenes.
[Homelander and Sage quickly get their photo taken together by the camera crew. Homelander motions for them to leave.]
You are clearly punishing me for openly disagreeing with you, which you said you could handle, but clearly you can’t.
Do you really think I’d be that petty?
Yes, I do. I mean, did it occur to you that it is harder to stage a fucking coup with a million eyes on me?
Popularity is power, Sister.
Listen, it’s gonna be great, okay? You’re a member of The Seven now. You’re a superhero. Act like it. [to the male members of The Seven] Hey, how about a photo with the new girl, guys?
Yeah, get in here. Front and center.
[Sage tenses up uncomfortably as The Deep pulls her in between him and Black Noir II]
Get in there. Make a sandwich out of her.
[M.M. hacks the phone of A-Train's brother, Nathan, to get himself a meeting with A-Train]
Hughie’s guy? You jacked my brother’s phone?
MSMother's Milk
Cloned it. Had to get your attention somehow.
You know I could smear your motherfuckin' face across this astroturf in three seconds, right?
MSMother's Milk
Like you did Blue Hawk? I just wanna talk.
Why the fuck would I ever talk to you?
MSMother's Milk
‘Cause you gave Starlight that footage. I got you on the office camera doing it. Matter of fact, I got so much dirt on you, A-Train, I could bury you six dozen feet under. But… I don’t think I’m gonna need to do that.
MSMother's Milk
‘Cause of those dark circles under your eyes. You ain’t getting no sleep. It makes me wonder, what the fuck is keepin' A-Train up at night? Is it that bullshit white savior movie they got you in? Or that they put your brother in a wheelchair? Or guilt for beatin' three men to death over at Planet Vought? I knew one of those guys. Wasn’t my favorite person, but… he was innocent. You know what I think? I think you’ve spent so much time wearing that stupid-ass Black Power suit, pretending to give a shit, that something stuck. You may have that racist white boy’s heart up in you, but you got a second goddamn chance to actually give a shit. [pause] So what you gonna do with it, man?
Fuck you. Sage is already hunting for whoever leaked that footage. ‘Cause giving a shit just gets you killed.
MSMother's Milk
True. But you’re still standing here.
[Butcher has baked cookies laced with halothane to feed Ryan during his visit]
I’ve got Connect 4, and LEGO. Plus, a special little something just for you. [opens cookie jar] Your mum’s recipe. World-famous, some say.
Mom used to bake them every year for my birthday instead of cake, but… No, thanks.
Alright. Maybe later, then. Fancy a game?
[Ryan points at Butcher's ear, which is leaking blood]
Butcher. [pause] Are you… scared?
[...]
I saw your save on the telly. So you’re a big hero now, eh?
Come on, you’re a star. Nailed your lines and all.
I actually… I accidentally hurt someone.
What do you mean, “hurt ’em”?
I was supposed to throw them… but I did it too hard.
[shakes his head] My dad says I shouldn’t even care. [pause; tearfully] I get why you don’t want me. I wouldn’t want me either.
Hey… Now you listen to me. Them horrible things I said… I didn’t mean ’em. I have this, uh… I have this habit, see, of pushin' people away.
‘Cause, uh… ‘Cause I’m a bad man. I ain’t got no business lookin' after a kid.
Before, you asked if I was scared. And the truth of the matter… is I’m bloody terrified, mate. I’m leavin' this world with nothing to show for it. I lost me bruv… your mum. And I could be leavin' without makin' things right with the one part of her that is still alive. And that… that scares me more than anything.
[Butcher takes the cookie jar and dumps the halothane cookies in the trash]
I fucked ’em up. Put way too much sugar in ’em.
