[A-Train gets badly injured while being chased by Homelander, who eventually catches up to him]
HomelanderLooks like someone can catch the A-Train after all. End of the road, buddy boy.
[A-Train starts laughing at Homelander as he gets back up]
Homelander
What's so funny?
What was I so afraid of? You are… fucking nothing.
Homelander
Really?
[Homelander lifts A-Train and pins him against a tree]
[grunts] Really. You're just an empty fucking suit. Take away these powers… and what are you, huh? A pathetic… weak… sniveling fucking loser.
[Homelander wraps his hand around A-Train's neck and slowly chokes him. A-Train continues laughing until Homelander snaps his neck.]
[Homelander releases Soldier Boy from his cryogenic chamber at Vought Tower. Soldier Boy wakes up the next morning in Homelander's bedroom.]
Homelander
No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay, I don't wanna hurt you. You're safe, okay? You've been in deep freeze again.
Oh, Jesus Christ. For how long?
Homelander
Almost two years in a CIA black site. I just found out this morning.
You found out this morning?
Homelander
Yeah.
But that just happens to be in your room? [pause] Did you fuck me?
Homelander
[legitimately confused] What?
Is this some kind of incest thing?
Homelander
No!
Then, what the fuck is this?
Homelander
[stammers] Look, I... I want you to find William Butcher.
Homelander
Well, the people that work for me are limited. And you are the best tracker there is. I just–I need you to find him and report back. Very simple.
You want me… to work for you?
Homelander
Well, why don't we say "work with me"? And... I can help you. I can give you a proper comeback.
I don't need you for that.
Homelander
Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so…
[takes a deep breath] Okay. Alright, listen to me. I'm no ass-felching Commie. You got that?!
Homelander
I know, I know. And listen, I am Vought now. Me. So, the public, they're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are. I can resurrect you. I can give you back what you lost. I can even make you number two in The Seven.
Number two? [Homelander nods] Or how about I finish the job, and blast you to Kingdom Fuck.
Homelander
Yeah, you could try. Who knows, you might even fry the V right out of my blood. Or you might not. But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you hate... me. After all, I'm–I'm not the one that betrayed you, am I?
I tried to kill you. The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
Homelander
Look...
[Homelander picks up Soldier Boy's shield and gives it to him]
Homelander
You find William Butcher for me… all is forgiven.
[beat; looks at the shield] Looks like a fuckin' kindergarten ashtray.
Homelander
Soldier Boy, [points at Calhoun and Ashley] this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
Homelander
Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. [to Calhoun] Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. [pause; Homelander just glares at him] Consider it done, sir.
Homelander
Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
Homelander
Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
Homelander
[sternly] No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
Homelander
Since me.
[Homelander has a psychotic breakdown and hallucinates Madelyn Stillwell appearing to him as an angel]
Homelander
Madelyn...!
MMadelyn
Oh, my boy! My sweet boy... What is wrong? Why are you unhappy?
Homelander
My father and my son! Everything, it's all falling apart!
MMadelyn
No! No, it's exactly what needed to happen. Yes, it's been foretold! You're about to ascend. Become immortal. Divine. A true god with the love of the world.
Homelander
But–
MMadelyn
I know, you think love is weak and human. But who is more loved than Jesus? And why should he have more love than you? You save more people than he does. The one, true god...
Homelander
Yes... But how? How? Millions of people just hate me...
MMadelyn
Well, then you baptize the unfaithful in their own blood. Rip babies from their mothers' wombs.
Homelander
Yes...
MMadelyn
Skin parents in front of their children. Rid the world of the wicked.
Homelander
Yes...
MMadelyn
The nonbelievers...
Homelander
They'll call me a monster...
MMadelyn
Oh, the only ones left will be your faithful. And they will love you in their hearts. They'll cry happy tears at the mere thought of you. You have one last task, my love.
Homelander
Up here.
What do you– [sees Homelander taking a bath] What in the fuck? Is that milk?
Homelander
Better. Breastmilk from the NICU at Mount Sinai.
So, what? You asked me up here so I could watch you swim in tit jizz?
Homelander
I wanna give you another chance.
You wanna give me another chance?
Homelander
Yes. Help me find that V1.
I'd rather fist myself with a handful of razors. Besides, Cleopatra Jones said there's no V1 to find.
Homelander
Oh, there most certainly is. And I am going to find it.
Yeah? What makes you so sure?
Homelander
[smiling] An angel told me. It's my destiny.
Just when I thought there was a ceiling to how fuckin' weird you could get.
Homelander
Yes, yes. Make your jokes. You've been blessed with immortality, and what have you done with it? Drink and fuck yourself numb. You... You are a disappointment. You see... [stands up and gets out of the tub] I am not gonna waste my immortality. I am gonna take what's rightfully mine. I'm asking you if you want a seat at the table because you're my father. But with or without you... a reckoning is coming.
[beat] You know, all I see is a freak. A freak with a bushel of gray pubes. Try some Just for Men.
[Ryan and Homelander meet up at the now-abandoned VoughtLand building]
Do you remember when you took me here? Pretended to care about me?
Homelander
I do care about you, son. I love you.
[pause] I need to ask you–
Homelander
For my forgiveness? You already have it.
Homelander
Okay, let me finish. I put too much pressure on you to fill my boots. And–And I realize now that, uh... Well, that–that was impossible. But I do have some pretty exciting news. I am going to live forever now. I'll realize my own legacy. And you... [scoffs] you're off the hook. You can do whatever–
Did you do it? Did you rapе my mom?
Homelander
What?! Of course not. Who told you–Did William Butcher tell you that? Your mother and I, we had an affair. A consensual affair between two adults.
Homelander
Well, yeah, because I'm shocked. And–And frankly, my heart's breaking a little bit that you could think I would do something like that–
[Ryan lasers Homelander, leaving a visible wound near his chest]
Homelander
Ryan... Ryan, stop!
[Ryan lunges at Homelander and shoves him against the wall. Homelander ducks below Ryan's fist to avoid getting punched by him.]
Homelander
Ryan! I don't know where this is coming from, because your mother… She came on to me.
[Ryan punches Homelander twice and tries to laser him again. Homelander quickly dodges him.]
Homelander
Ryan! Son... [moves away to avoid another punch] Ryan! Ryan, buddy... Look what came out of it: My son! A blessing! [Ryan attacks him again] Hey, hey! Stop!
[Ryan readies another laser, which gets redirected when Homelander grabs his face. He punches Homelander in the face again, but Homelander gets the upper hand and slams Ryan several times into a box. Homelander wipes blood away from his nose as Ryan whimpers in pain.]
Homelander
Oh, Ryan... Dammit. Look at what you made me do. [pause; kneels down to restrain Ryan] Shh... Shh, shh, shh. Hey... It's okay. My sweet, sweet boy.
[Homelander proceeds to punch Ryan repeatedly in the face until he is beaten nearly to death]
Homelander
I need you for something.
Homelander
I have received the most wonderful message. I was visited... by an angel. And she foretold my destiny.
Wow. Well, praise be. And what is it?
Homelander
God.
Sir, that is wonderful. There is no higher calling than servin' the Lord.
Homelander
Oh, no. Not serving the Lord. Being the Lord. I am the Messiah. I'm the savior of the world.
Homelander
Yes.
[Firecracker smiles despite her being clearly disturbed by Homelander's delusions]
Homelander
Thank you. [pause; Firecracker giggles nervously] I always knew I was special. I knew it. I suffered. I suffered so many hardships, and I... I couldn't understand why, but you... You... You always saw it, didn't you? You knew all along I was special. That is why I have chosen you to spread the word of my coming.
Homelander
Well, we control the most powerful media apparatus on Earth. Jesus would kill for our marketing. What do you say?
...Well, you know I would do anything for you, sir.
[Homelander and Soldier Boy search the ground floor of Fort Harmony while the Boys are in the basement below looking for the V1]
[sniffs] Smells like deer piss. The last time I was here, I was fresh off the front lines, still picking Nazi brains out of my hair. And only the best of the best got selected for Dr. Vought's trials.
Homelander
Hmmph.
Not soft little hog-chompers.
Homelander
Of course. No, I forgot how tough you were.
Hey, I'm not the weirdo who doesn't fuck. I mean, your cock's as useless as your cape. What's the point of being famous if you're not getting your dіck wet?
Homelander
Oh, my dіck was sopping wet when I pulled it out of Stormfront and wiped it on her fucking chin!
[pause; looks down at the decomposed corpses] Ooh, look. More uggos.
Homelander
Friends of yours?
[They unknowingly set off the motion detector that the Boys set up near the stairs]
MSMother's Milk
Oh, shit. They're right above us.
We best get the fuck outta here. Come on.
Hey. Hey, what about the V1?
MSMother's Milk
If Bombsight has the V1, then it saves us from having to torch it.
What are you talking about? Who's "us"?
[beat] What? You think the world needs more immortal cunts, do ya?
We need it to save Annie and Kimiko! You've been planning this this whole time, haven't you?!
Shh. Homelander will hear us.
[to Mother's Milk] And you, you've just been going along with it again.
MSMother's Milk
We can't take the risk, Hughie. And if she has to be collateral damage so that Homelander dies and my daughter lives, we ain't got no fucking choice!
Oh, easy for you to say. It won't fucking kill you!
Well, at least he knows when to keep his gob shut and do as he's fuckin' told!
MSMother's Milk
Excuse me?
No, no, no. We don't have time for this. We need to find a way out now.
MSMother's Milk
Wanna know a little secret, Butcher? I cheered when I found out that you were dying, 'cause at least we'd finally be done with your miserable ass.
You know, I used to say to these guys, "Don't give up on Butcher. There's good in him fighting to get out." I was wrong. If there was anything human in there, it's dead. Underneath that chestful of octo-cocks, you are just a fucking monster.
Well, maybe I like it better that way.
That parasite's not just in you. It is you. You're the cancer!
You are just as bad as Homelander, maybe worse. And I'm not gonna let you drag us all down with you.
And whatcha gonna do about it?
Homelander
[chuckles] Tough guy, my ass.
Homelander
You, your whole bit. This whole "guts and glory" thing. What a fucking joke. I read your classified file. Your brother won a Silver Star for bravery at Anzio, and that's what made you beg your father to buy you a spot in Dr. Vought's trials. Because it killed you to see your brother dripping in all that glory, making you look all the more feeble in comparison.
You don't know shit about me.
Homelander
Really? I know that when they tried to inject you with the V, you were so fucking petrified that they had to strap you to the table. And you pissed yourself, crying for your mommy like the whiny, spoiled little rich boy that you are. They gave you the world, and you? You deserve nothing.
[Soldier Boy stands by as Homelander walks into a small chamber]
Homelander
[sighs] Oh, Christ. What's this shithole now?
[Soldier Boy shuts the door while Homelander isn't looking and turns the wheel to lock him inside the chamber]
Homelander
What are you doing?!
[Soldier Boy bends the wheel with his bare hands and tears it off the door]
Homelander
[sarcastically] Oh, well done. I'll be out of here in 30 seconds!
[Soldier Boy pulls down a lever to open a radioactive valve. Homelander's face immediately starts blistering from the radiation.]
It's enriched uranium. They'd stick us Supes in there to see if we could survive an atomic bomb. Now, for a normal joe, they'd be dead in minutes. But for you, it's a stomach flu. Good luck, though, getting out of a Supe-proof cell while you're bleeding out of your ass.
[Homelander fails to kill Soldier Boy by lasering him. He punches the glass as Soldier Boy walks off.]
Homelander
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go destroy any V1 that I find, you Triple Crown cock jockey.
Homelander
Why?
You don't get it, do you? How much I can't fucking stand you.
[Butcher sees Homelander trapped inside the uranium chamber]
[laughs] Oh, if only the world could see you now. Not so fuckin' super, are ya? You, uh... [points at Homelander's face] You got a bit of... [pause; Homelander coughs] Did your dad put you in timeout? Ooh… That's gotta sting, knowin' he'd rather spend eternity all alone than with the likes of you. What's the matter? Cunt got your tongue? Will wonders ever cease? [chuckles; lights cigarette] Tell me something. If you do get the juice in you, you think that makes you a god, don't ya? Seems like I know you pretty well after all. Which is why I know that even if you had a billion twats garglin' your bollocks and singin' "Hosanna", you still wouldn't be happy. 'Cause deep down, you're just a weak, thin-skinned, needy little boy. You beat the shit outta your own son. Don't get weaker than that.
Homelander
[laughs weakly while groaning in pain] Ryan is alive… because he's strong. 'Cause he's my son. The son of God.
You ain't no god. How's about I go fetch the virus, and then we'll watch you shit your fuckin' spine out?
Homelander
[pause] You don't have it, do you? The virus.
Homelander
No, you don't. You would have used it by now. [coughs; laughs hysterically] You have no way to stop me, do you? Oh, William. You have no idea what you're up against. You can't intervene. I will get the V1, and when I do, I'm gonna flay you alive. You, Starlight, all the nonbelievers. You're all gonna fuckin' drown in your own blood.
I promise you, before I die... I'll fuckin' have you. [walks away]
Homelander
YOU'RE ALL FUCKING PASTE! I can take what's mine, and that makes this WHOLE FUCKING SHITBALL MY BIRTHRIGHT! MY DESTINY!
Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
Homelander
[sighs] Prophets are servants.
Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
Homelander
No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
Homelander
Amen.
Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
Homelander
Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
Homelander
Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… [picks up a bag with a large book inside] this.
[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees "The Homelander Bible" with himself embossed on the cover.]
We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
Not a book. The book. The Homelander Bible.
Homelander
[pause; lifts the book with his hands] Heavy.
It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't Arby's, after all.
Homelander
No.
We're the Cheesecake Factory.
Homelander
[sighs deeply] Okay. We'll do it your way.
You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
Homelander
Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.
Would you like some knee pads?
You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
Homelander
Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
Homelander
You may leave.
[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]
What crawled up your shithole?
Homelander
No idea what you mean.
When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
Homelander
I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. [pause] You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? [Homelander stares at him] What, you don't trust me?
Homelander
Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
Homelander
Or maybe you're lying.
Maybe. [inhales deeply] Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.
[Firecracker sees Homelander sitting on the couch in the Seven common room]
Homelander… How was L.A.? Did you catch tonight's Truthbomb?
Homelander
I did indeed. And it was a real barn-burner. Well done.
[smiles] Thank you, sir. That means the world.
Homelander
[pause] How's sеx with my father? [Firecracker's smile disappears] Is he good at it? Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
I never meant to cross a line or offend you in...
Homelander
Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don't fret, little one. I don't care about the sеx, really. But I do care about your little chats after sеx.
Sir, whatever Soldier Boy told you, I can assure you that I...
Homelander
You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh... Jesus? Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
No, you are my one and only savior.
Homelander
You say that, but your jagged little heart is whirring like a hummingbird. [sighs; gets up from the couch] You're supposed to worship me, love me and me alone.
Homelander
I believed in you. Turns out, you don't believe in me. [pause] I need you to collect your things and leave.
But I do believe in you. I love you! I'm the only one here who ever has! I gave you everything! I gave you my soul! Everybody else here, they're just... They're just scared of you. Or they want something from you, but I have always loved you for you. Just the strongest, smartest, best man on Earth.
Homelander
[scoffs] Man?
No, no, no, no, no. [gets in front of Homelander] A god. No. No, the God. My Lord, that look you used to get when you'd suckle me? I felt like Mother Mary herself. I felt blessed to nourish someone as important as you. [pause; Homelander sighs] But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it? You cast me out into the cold, which was so much worse than never feeling your warmth in the first place. So all I have been tryin' to do is to get you to see me the way that you used to. Hell, only reason I was with Soldier Boy was that your reflected light is better than no light at all. Please, sir. I love you. We all need love, don't we? Even God.
[Homelander reaches his hand out to touch Firecracker's cheek, then kills her by impaling her head on the left wing of an eagle statue]
[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]
You sure this is the right address?
Homelander
I'm sure.
Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]
Homelander
I can explain.
That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
Homelander
She did, after Ryan did that to her. It's his fault.
So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
Homelander
No.
...and filmed her for kicks?
Homelander
No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. [Soldier Boy punches him] Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
You're goddamn right I loved her.
Homelander
She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades!
Homelander
Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. [Soldier Boy turns around to leave] Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
[pause; turns back around] Good. You don't deserve to live forever.
[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]
Homelander
No one here.
LThe Legend
I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. [picks up a receipt] Here you go. [Homelander sighs] Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
Homelander
[looks at the receipt; chuckles] Hmmph. It's not nothing.
LThe Legend
It's a Taco Bell receipt.
Homelander
No, this is Sage! Taunting me!
Homelander
[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed] This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! [chuckles] You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become nothing like him. Please…
LThe Legend
[beat] I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. [pause] Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of Undercover Geisha, getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
Homelander
Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
LThe Legend
Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. [pats Homelander's shoulder] Yep.
Homelander
[beat; gets up] You're not scared of me.
LThe Legend
No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. [pause] So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
Homelander
[sighs] ...You can go.
Homelander
[quickly] Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. [brief pause] Now.
LThe Legend
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[After The Legend leaves, Homelander makes a call to Crime Analytics on his cell phone]
OOperator
How can I help you, sir?
Homelander
I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.
The Boys · 278 quotes
