Piece of advice: don't have kids.
MHMelting Henchman
I can't. You see, I was in this terrible nuclear accident...
Did I ask for your life story? Because I don't recall asking for your life story.
MHMelting Henchman
Sorry.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Wow. Thanks, Gadget Gal. I've spent my whole life thinking I wasn't half the hero my dad was.
Well, you're wrong. You're exactly half the man your dad was.
Bravo, Muscleman. You have done excellent work. (Muscleman laughs) Hey, what's so funny?
It's just that I'm about to say something for the first time that people have been saying to me my whole life.
What's that?
You're an idiot.
To my secretary Janice, who's always been there in my time of need, I leave the Malocchio Ray, my three-ton laser capable of destroying an entire city.
JJanice
Giant laser? That'll definitely fit in my studio apartment.
And please donate my body to science. But only if it's evil science.
My son, you must safeguard this serum at all cost. And it is up to you, my dear Giuseppi, to keep it out of the wrong hands, to make sure no one uses it to become the monster I turned into many years ago and have remained for the greater part of my life, although if I'm being honest, the monster years were the fun ones.
You can't just put on a suit and start saving people.
So you're upset he stopped those criminals?
"Alleged" criminals. That's the problem with these vigilantes. They jump to conclusions when we don't even have all the facts.
They were pointing a gun at her.
And one of them said, "Don't mess with me. I'm a criminal."
Until we have all the facts, we just don't know.
Yeah, maybe she's the one who was attacking them.
Exactly.
Or maybe it didn't even happen, and we're not even watching the news, and it's just tiny people putting on a play inside our TV.
Well, no, it's not that. It's never that.
Well, I think this Metal Fella is a tall drink of water. He's like a hard, shiny Burt Lancaster. I'll tell you after what I'd like to do with him, he'd better hope that suit is rust-resistant.
If you're saying what I think you're saying, he'd probably take off the suit first.
No, leave it on.
I can't believe we're going to Hotwire's memorial. I don't know what to expect.
I expect really delicious cookies.
Why would you think that?
What else would you do at a mmm-Oreo?
Okay, it's not an "mmm-Oreo," it's a memorial. We're going to honor the memory of our lost friend.
Got it. I will bring my own cookies.
Or go an hour without cookies.
You brought a date to your girlfriend's funeral?
It's what Hotwire could've wanted.
It may seem nice now, but when vigilantes flaunt the law, people can get hurt. Now let's run into this store and wave guns around.
Hey, maybe we should focus on vacuuming after we fix the huge holes in the wall?
Yeah, that's the problem. Not that Prock turned Melacchio Jr. evil or that Prock gave up the code to disable our shield. It's that I'm vacuuming!
Did somebody say "perfect"?
Were you just hiding behind a curtain for an hour waiting for someone to say "perfect"?
I've come to offer my reinstatement as a member of the Awesomes. I think we could really benefit from having someone on the team like me.
He was waiting behind here for an hour.
I've prepared these cardboard cutouts... (Perfect Man disintegrates them) Why?
If there's no jury, they can't find me guilty.
They can bring in another jury.
Another jury? It's like the legal system has thought of everything.
Also, those aren't cutouts you can just buy in a store. It took me like a day to make those. Know what? Never mind.
Well, Ms. Stone, hmm, nice try. But everyone knows I would never trust an Italian. They have crime in their blood, crime and tomato sauce.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Awesomes pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.