Robots? Holy crap.
Yeah, what did you think was happening?
No time to think! Now, to think about what to do.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
PRPaul the Robotherapist
But ask yourselves, which one amongst you hasn't given us a secret we can tell? Which one among you is safe to reveal their true selves?
My accent hides it, but I'm a stone-cold bitch.
I don't love my mamma. Enough.
I'm severely mentally ill.
I worry that I might be too perfect.
OOld Lady
I collect glass elephants. And murder hobos.
GGeneral
I only became a general because I watched General Hospital.
The robots are malfunctioning.
I'm about to malfunction my lunch. if you know what I mean.
Again, who wouldn't know what you mean?
NNewscaster
...has us wondering what the supposed superhero team the Awesomes will do next. And by "wondering" I mean "waiting," and by "do next," I mean "royally screw up and make themselves look like idiots." And by "idiots," I mean...
CCommentator
And when I think of all the greatness that Mr. Awesome has brought to this land--this world--and how his name is being... how do you put this delicately? Crapped on like you've got the *bleep* after scarfing down a diseased Mexican dinner. It makes me sad.
Do you have it?
SMSecret Mole
No, but I'm getting closer.
Close is for horseshoes, hand grenades, and three-alarm chili. I despise chili.
You can't keep doing things like this. Didn't you hear anything I said about us getting back on track as as heroes?
I was trying to listen, but it was very boring.
When you steal music, you steal from the artist. I was defending... Tori Amos? Why is a 9-year-old listening to Tori Amos?
SShoplifter
I'm going through some stuff.
If you can describe the alien, I can cross-check the database and find their home planet.
Hmm, how best to describe it?
I would say it had a... healthy face, with a buxom overtone.
To use the parlance of cows, I would say there was an udder quality.
It looked like the magazines under my dad's bed.
Ah, just say it. It had tits for eyes.
Gleeborian.
That's a funny name.
It's a Syrenthian word.
What does it mean?
"Tits for eyes."
How does he find them?
I blame Gregslist.
You mean Craigslist?
No, Gregslist. If you want something even Craig won't touch, you turn to Greg.
GGreg
(walking in) Did someone call for Greg?
EEveryone
Get out of here, Greg!
GGreg
Oh, suit yourself. Hey, darling, if you ever want to make some real money, give me a ring.
EEveryone
Get out of here, Greg!
In the future, Muscleman, don't ask about the escape plan in front of those you are endeavoring to escape from!
Knew it as soon as I said it.
If it makes you feel any better, we didn't have a plan.
That does make me feel a little better.
BMBird Master
You were always smart as a whip.
And I know how to use one in the bedroom.
So when my alien agent called and asked if I wanted to be a judge in the Miss Global Beauty Pageant, I said abso-*bleep*-lutely. Because there's three things I love. Boobs, and looking at 'em. Yee-hah! Boobs!
Oh, come on. We've been successful.
Have we? Collateral damage, lawsuits, and destruction of beloved historical landmarks does not fit my definition of "success."
Well, lady, I guess you and I have different dictionaries. (pulls out "Baby's 1st Dictionary")
You're an imbecile.
Well, you're a... (looks it up) duck.
I don't understand. In the lottery commercials, people always win. I don't know what to believe anymore.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Awesomes pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.