[After surviving a sandstorm, Jimmy gasps in surprise at something as Cindy scolds him]
[annoyed] Okay, Neutron, once again, you blew it, big time… [knocks Jimmy's head] Hey, Jumblehead, I'm yelling at you. [snaps her fingers in front of his face] Pay attention. What are you looking at?
[turns her head] The entrance to the lost tomb of the Queen Hazabataslapya.
You think there's a bathroom in there?
[pushing the doors open] We shall now enter the lost tomb and see what has been unseen for 3,000 years.
Shouldn't we like, call National Geographic or Harvard?
LibbyOr Harrison Ford?
Spice jars! If we can gather up enough kaffir lime leaves and dry mustard powder, I can ignite them and blow the door open!
Where do you learn all this stuff, Jimmy?
That I learned at the library.
Ohh. And the library is a…?
[On the other side of the wall, the snakes corner Carl, surrounding him]
[trying to make them go away; fearfully] Okay, nice snakes. Pretty snakes. Um, go away, please. Y-You don't want to bite me with your long, sharp fangs and inject poison into my blood stream. [Jimmy ignites the spice jars with his torch, blowing the wall open, making the snakes flee; Carl is relieved] Thanks, guys. I thought I was gonna be snake food.
[having enough] Okay, this field trip is over. How are you gonna get us out of here, Mr. Tour Guide?
[spookily] We don't want to get outta here.
Okay, Jimmy's lost it. I elect myself leader. Everybody start crying and yelling.
[just before they do that] No, guys. Look. The queen's burial chamber. Get ready to see a real, live mummy.
Hey, Jimmy. Was the queen gonna have a garage sale?
The Egyptians believed in an afterlife, so they preserve their bodies and buried them with their furniture, jewelry, pets…
[laughing] Man. Those Egyptians were a bunch of whack jobs. But just in case they're right, I'd like to be buried with my Ultra Lord collection.
Well, guys, this was fun. [laughs nervously while taking a few steps back] Okay, let's all leave in a quiet and orderly fashion, before we see something really scary, like… [bumps into a mummified body and turns around; terrified] MUMMIES!!! [runs and crashes into Jimmy, making him drop the torch, and the flame light goes out]
[The gang's eyes are shown in the dark as they start to panic]
Everybody, shh! Stand still, I'll find my torch. [accidentally touches Cindy]
Ow! That's not your torch.
Hey, Jimmy, I still got your Electro-Life thingy that makes a light. [activates the Electro-Life, lighting up the chamber so Jimmy can find his torch… and unknowingly accidentally resurrects the three mummies nearby]
Found it! [picks up the torch and lights it up] Now let's a take a look at those mummies.
[The mummies growl and look down at them]
[frightfully] J-Jimmy, the mummies are looking at us.
Libby
[as the mummies start moving their bodies] They're moving.
I did it! My Electro-Life works! I can bring the dead back to life!
All right! You trampled all over the laws of nature! Way to go!
Yeah, terrific. Now a bunch of dead guys wrapped in toilet paper are gonna kill us.
Um, guys, I suggest we… RUN!!!
[The kids start running as the mummies chase after them]
Jimmy, next time you invite me anywhere, remind me to say no.
Let's hope there is a next time!
Libby
[to the mummies] Hey, guys. I'm related to your queen.
So, this is how it ends. Playing hide and get killed in a tomb in Egypt.
Why must the good die young?!
They're coming this way. [whispering] Everybody stay quiet!
Libby
Uh, Jimmy, now would be a real good time for one of your brain blasts.
Think, think… [pictures Libby and Queen Hazabataslapya looking alike; gets an idea] Brain blast! Libby, quick, I need you.
Libby
Why, Jimmy, this is so sudden!
It's the desert love curse. Working its evil ways on Jimmy's heart.
Libby, you look like the queen. If you pretend to be her, maybe the mummies will obey your command.
Libby
[to the mummies; portraying as the queen]' I order you mummies to start sleeping for 5--
Libby
15 trillion more years! [the mummies fall asleep] Sleep tight, and don't let the scarab bugs bite.
Carl, give me the Electro-Life.
Some things should not see the light of day, for who am I, a mere mortal to alter the very laws of mortality.
Good thing we're in a tomb, 'cause you're boring us to death.
[Jimmy flings the Electro-Life aside]
[off-screen] Hey, guys! I did it! I finally found the bathroom! [gets his head thumped; painfully] OW! Why must the good get hit on their heads again? [Later outside… the gang are all in Jimmy's hover car, ready to return to Retroville] Sayonara, cruel desert!
Libby
You know, I think I'm down with this new look. I'm gonna keep it.
[sarcastically] So, do we have to address you as "Superqueen Libby" as of right now?
Libby
[giggles] No, [jokingly] but "Your Mighty Fine Royal Marvelousness" WILL do.
Light speed back to Retroville!
[The gang returns to school and tiptoe quietly while entering Miss Fowl's classroom]
[loudly] Miss Fowl, we're back!
OOthers
[all annoyed] Carl!
[waking up along with Principal Willoughby] Where have you children been?! I want the truth, pronto!
And I'll have none of this whole "school tanning salon" mumbo-jumbo!
Uh, did I say we were going to the tanning salon? I meant, uh… the bathroom!
Oh. Well, all right, then.
In Egypt. And Libby got to be a queen, and mummies chased us, and we discovered a lost tomb!
Libby
I can't take it anymore!
If you love me, you'll finish it right now!
People, we can't quit now! It's only the 1st inning!
And Butch's team is beating us 29 to 0!
Cut with the chitty-chatty and play ball! [Sheen catches a ball Jimmy threw] Ball 8!
Ball?! That was right down the middle. I've seen better calls at a square dance!
Jimmy's throwing lollipops. The day he throws down Broadway is the day I dance on the moon!
[Jimmy throws it and Butch hits it, sending it flying]
Oh, I wish I was a llama in a great big llama world...
AAH! THE BALL! IT'S COMING RIGHT AT ME! [hits Carl's back] Ow, my scapula.
[Ball bounces to Libby who is listening to music, and then to Cindy]
Way to pitch a really easy home run, Nerd-tron!
Libby
I was listening to a great song. I have priorities!
And I have back pain! Primarily around my scapula.
Can we stop, Miss Fowl? My team's tired from running around the bases so much.
Oh, I thought you'd never ask. Butch's team is the winner!
All in favor of never playing baseball for the rest of their lives, say "Aye".
You guys are such losers!
All those who agree with Butch?
Hey, no one calls my team losers! We want a rematch!
Nerd-tron, are you out of your oversized mind?!
I'll show you guys that we're not losers!
Libby
Nobody can beat us.
Look, guys, my cousin lent me his official, major-league bat signed by Tremendous Jackson himself.
Libby
Can I use it?
No, you can't use that. This stuff's been lucky for us. Changing now might jinx us.
Jimmy's right, that's why I've been wearing the same underwear for the past six weeks.
That was embarrassing. I got this long sleeve shirt and my underwear too. And socks too.
If we want to keep winning, we keep using our old equipment.
Listen up everyone. I have an announcement to make today: Jimmy Neutron and his team will be going to Nagoya, Japan, for the Junior Baseball World Championships! Which just goes to show that even the worst, most untalented athletes can be great if they put their minds to it. So... sayonara.
Um... guys, I think there's something I should tell you...
Me, too. I-I hate to admit it, Neutron, but, um, we wouldn't have gotten this far without you.
Yeah, for once and probably the only time in my life I'm a wiener-- I mean, winner. See how new it is?
My life-long dream has been to go to Japan. I can finally meet Bonzilla!
Libby
So, Jimmy, what was it that you were going to say?
AAnnouncer
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the championship game between the Retroville 9 and, from Japan, the Super Dedicated Work Team!
Libby
Oh, I can't believe we're here. I don't know how we did it.
Boy, I love this sushi stuff, whatever it is.
Hey, I don't want to drink blood anymore.
Huh. I've lost all desire to consume human flesh.
Hey, I can speak in complete sentences. Now, where's my scary little Sugarbooger?
[holding a plate of banana balls and prune puffs] Right here, you monster. Who's up for banana balls and prune puffs?
[Everyone expresses in disgust]
Libby
We never got to go trick-or-treating.
And we left behind all our candy when we changed into monsters.
No candy on Halloween? That is scary.
OMOctopus Man Jimmy
Don't worry. I can fix that.
I can't talk, I can't think. Everywhere I go, you're there!
What kind of sick joke is this?
Oh, you're gonna make me say it, aren't you? Alright then, I'll say it. [sits on his knees] I LOVE YOU, CINDY VORTEX! [echoes; Cindy, Britney, Libby, and everyone gasp; As everyone laughs, Cindy angrily splats her ice cream in his face; Sam stops laughing and madly walks over to him] Mmm… pecan ripple, your favorite.
You messy little hooligan! I just cleaned that floor eight months ago! You're out of here! Yeah, yeah. [throws Jimmy out of the Candy Bar and into the street]
[Episode starts at Lindbergh Elementary School; the bell rings and all the students leave Miss Fowl's classroom after taking a history test]
Libby
Okay, that history test was hard.
Yeah, now I know how you guys feel when I beat on you.
Four score and seven years ago... oxygen!
Hey, guys! Man, that test was cake! I didn't know whether to answer the questions to put frosting on 'em, am I right? Am I right?
Actually, Sheen, I thought it was fairly challenging.
Challenging? Please! My grandma's chihuahua could've aced it. I've done connect-the-dot drawings that were harder. [Sheen suddenly cringes as Miss Fowl calls for him]
[sticking out from behind the classroom door, wanting to have a talk with him; sharply] SHEEN!!!
Ex-squeeze me, Miss Fowl probably wants to congratulate me on the best job well done ever.
[Later, outside school… Jimmy and Carl look at Sheen's history test up-close, which unfortunately, he now failed with every question answered in Ultra Lord themed topics]
JCJimmy & Carl
Quadruple F-minus?!
Well, how was I supposed to know Ultra Lord wasn't the father of our country? That's what it says on the Ultra Lord website.
Wait, didn't you write the Ultra Lord website?
Your point? [Jimmy rolls his eyes before walking up to his hover car] Oh. Anyway, Miss Fowl said if I don't pass tomorrow's math final, I'm gonna be left back!
Left back?! That's terrible!
Tell me about it! I can't be in a class with a bunch of babies who wet their pants and cry for their mommies!
Well, technically, they'd be the same age we are now, and we don't wet our pants and cry for... [stops and sees Carl sucking his thumb and holding a llama plushie]
Sheen, I won't allow Miss Fowl to leave you back!
No way! We're the Three Amigops!
[confused] "The Three Amigops"?
Yeah, well, you see, I was making us name tags, [shows Jimmy his "Amigops" name tag] and I accidentally added a P to "amigos", so--
Pardon me, but my LIFE IS ENDING!! [dramatically shakes Carl]
Don't worry, Sheen. [as he and Sheen get into the hovercar] We're gonna help you pass that math test if it takes all night!
Yeah! No one splits up the Three Amigops! [tries to get in, but the hovercar flies off without him, then immediately comes back]
Okay. [then finally gets into the hovercar and it flies off with all of them in it]
[showing up at the Candy Bar in his throne as Cindy and Libby exit] Libby Folfax, come on down!
Libby
[to Cindy] Oh, he must be bugging. [Sheen immediately picks her up as she yells, then pulls her towards him with his psychokinesis] Get me down!
Reign with me, Libby. Together, we shall rule Retroville in glory!
Libby
I don't think so.
But you'll be immortal. Portraits will depict you in the finest robes and jewelry.
Libby
NEVER!
Then get ready to die! [Libby runs away screaming while being chased by Sheen's thunder attacks]
[with a now giant-sized head] I control the wind, and I shall rain fire down from the heavens! Good-bye, Sheen the overlord! HELLO, SHEEN THE GOD!!!!!!
Libby
[preparing to leave, having enough] That's it. I've had it with you, and your big freaky head. [walks away]
[to Libby, as he floats down] Wait, come back! You'll like being the wife of a god! I'll let you choose the patio furniture!
UUltra Lord
Greetings! One called "Sheen"..
[astonished] Ultra Lord?!?!?!
[Jimmy and Carl are inside the Ultra Lord costume, controlling him]
UUltra Lord
You betcha! I've come to welcome you, to the Ultra Pantheon of the super-POWERFUL!
Wait a second. How do I know you're not even an impostor?
UUltra Lord
Hmm... I see your point. Well, I guess I'll be on my way.
Wait, don't go! [floats toward Ultra Lord and flies in front of him] It's just, the odds of meeting the ACTUAL Ultra Lord at this very moment, are 16,755 to 1...!
UUltra Lord
Well, if you want to make SURE it's REALLY me, why not ask me a series of difficult trivia questions?
[smiles as he points at Ultra Lord] Hey, good idea!
Ready on the Ultra Lord website, Carl?
[while looking up the website] I'm on it, Jimmy. Let's do it!
[while reading the screen] On the Planet in Mektar of Vector 8...
UUltra Lord
...on the Nebulon Galaxy!
Right! Now, next question. What's your favorite mid-morning snack?
[reads the screen] Nitrogen Bar...
UUltra Lord
...and a Decaf Latte!
Bingo! One final question. What did Robo-Fiend say when you blasted him with your ION Ray?
[Carl sneezes, and slams down one of the controls very hard, which causes Ultra Lord to fly across the street]
[excited] Exactamundo! He said "OW, YAAH"! You ARE the real Ultra Lord! Now, join me, Ultra Lord! With your magma photons and my brains, we'll triumph over the galaxy!
UUltra Lord
It's an Ultra deal! But first, I need an Ultra-favor.
UUltra Lord
I need you to... [pulls out the Brain Drain helmet.] ...drain your brain.
[disappointed, yet puzzled] Huh? But...but why?
UUltra Lord
You're too smart! All the other super powerful guys will think you're annoying.
UUltra Lord
Your hero, Ultra Lord, commands you.
[still refusing, impatiently] I WON'T!
UUltra Lord
[demanding] PUT IT ON!
[in a loud, demonic booming voice] YOU DARE TO ORDER ME?! FEEL THE WRATH OF MY BRAIN BOLT!!!!!
[to Cindy and Libby] Sorry, ladies. There's an hour wait for a table. Unless you're willing to sit in the utility closet.
[irritated] But we know you.
[smugly] Oh, that's right! I'm the leader of the one-man dork parade.
Look, Neutron, just because you work at the most popular joint in town, doesn't mean aren't still a stuck-up jerk. Come on, Libby. We're leaving.
Libby
[to Jimmy; eagerly] 1 for the utility closet, please? [Jimmy leads her way]
[coming back; also eager] Make it 2. [follows along]
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · 473 quotes
