A character in The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
Here's your dinner. I put it in the blender first so the chewing doesn't tire you out.
So what did you do before you retired, old-timer?
I can't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing now, but I think it's real important.
Well, you know, maybe if we guess, it'll jog your memory. Let's see. Did it involve swinging heavy things?
N-No, I don't think so.
Well, that eliminates lumberjack and executioner.
[Last lines]
Carl, what are you eating?
Just some prune whip from your lab.
Carl, there wasn't any prune whip. That's my experimental truth telling serum!
Oh, Jimmy that's ridic- [snaps to truth mode] I stole Jimmy's toast the other day. Sometimes, I dream about girls.
Maybe we better go.
I don't think Ultralord exists...
LALALALALA! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!
My mom is really 42. I just ripped-
MAKE HIM STOP!
Ms. Gorgeous...
Please, call me "Beautiful".
This is my 27th greatest invention ever. Behold, the Neutronic Monster Maker!
Sweet name.
Simply select a monster, step under the cone of creation, and it'll realign your molecules to make you look like that monster- down to each horrifying atom.
Cool! But Sheen, you got to promise that when you're scary, you won't scare me.
My word is my bond.
I've downloaded every monster imaginable. I have 102 different monsters to choose from. Here are your choices. [clears throat] A werewolf…
That's it- I want to be the wolf guy!
Sheen, I have 101 other monsters.
I know, Jimmy, but it's been my lifelong dream to be covered in hair.
All right, werewolf it is. What about you, Carl? The Hunchback of Notre Dame?
Uh… too hunchy.
The blob?
Too blobby.
The Phantom of the Opera?
Too Opera-y.
Frankenstein?
"Frahnkenshteen."
No, I don't like his wardrobe. I'm more of a summer. [gasps] Who's the guy with the cape?
Dracula.
Yeah, he has a cape. I want to be Dracula!
All right, Dracula and a werewolf it is.
I want more! I need blood!
You need counseling.
Must have blood! Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make. I must join them! [changes into his bat form and flies away] Bye, you guys! See you later!
That was weird. But totally awesome! I wanna turn into a bat! I wanna fly! Make me a bat, Jimmy! Make me a bat!
I didn't do that! Carl just changed into a vampire bat on his own.
But it's Halloween. What do you expect?
The monster maker must've mutated Carl's molecular structure on a subatomic level, altering his DNA!
And now again in English.
He's a real vampire!
I can't believe Carl and Sheen turned into a real vampire and werewolf! I've got to capture them and turn them back. Goddard, access vampire data so I know what I'm dealing with. [Goddard does so] "Vampires feed on the blood of the living. They can turn their victims into vampires and are repelled by garlic. They can only be destroyed by a wooden stake driven into their heart." What have you got on werewolves?
[dressed as a fortune teller; mysteriously] Even a man who is pure of heart, and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms, and the autumn moon is bright.
Uh… hi, Miss Fowl. How do you know about werewolves?
I was married to one, but that's a story for another day.
Uh, anything else I should know?
Well, they can turn other people into werewolves by biting them, and they can only be destroyed by a silver…
Bullet?
Cane, spoon, hairbrush- anything else silver. Okay, Happy Halloween. Don't forget to floss.
Carl, Sheen, to the lake! [cut to Carl screaming as they're at the lake] You gonna keep doing that?
I'm sorry, Jim. I just have some bad associations with this lake.
Everyone has something they're afraid of Carl. For me, it's the crawl space under grandma's house. For you, it's a stupid lake!
What happened here, Carl?
Well, two years ago, I came here with my pet turtle, Snappy. [Flashback to two years ago; voice-over] He was my best friend, but I was allergic to him. [his cheeks swell up due to his allergic reaction] So I had to release him right here on this beach. And ever since, the lake has filled me with feelings of nausea, blind terror, and then more nausea.
Say, Jimmy, you're not going to stomp on Carl's dreams again, are you?
Oh, that's okay, Sheen. Now that I've had some fudge, I feel much better.
You look better.
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, Carl. I just didn't want you to be disappointed by impossible wishes like, well, like I was.
What do you mean?
Well, two years ago, I wrote Santa asking for a core sample from Dwarf Star NG738. [Flashback to Christmas morning, two years ago when he enters the living room; voice-over] I wanted it more than anything ever. When I opened my presents on Christmas morning...no dwarf star. [back to the present] That was the saddest day of my life. [Sheen laughs] Sheen, what's so funny?
Isn't it obvious, Jimmy? You were just naughty that year!
What are you talking about?
Well, wasn't that the year you almost destroyed the Earth?
No, you guys are missing the point.
Jimmy was naughty! Jimmy was naughty!
What a cool guy. Too bad he didn't have enough time to deliver presents to our house. Or did he? [leaves his room and heads downstairs to the living room and opens his Christmas present] My dwarf star! [reads his note from Santa] "Sorry it took so long. I had to let it cool for five years. Love, Santa." Of course! I should have realized.
Good morning, Jimmy. Merry Pule. Funny, it doesn't look like Pule. It looks... just... like... Why... Why, it looks just like Christmas!
Ahh!
I can't talk, I can't think. Everywhere I go, you're there!
What kind of sick joke is this?
Oh, you're gonna make me say it, aren't you? Alright then, I'll say it. [sits on his knees] I LOVE YOU, CINDY VORTEX! [echoes; Cindy, Britney, Libby, and everyone gasp; As everyone laughs, Cindy angrily splats her ice cream in his face; Sam stops laughing and madly walks over to him] Mmm… pecan ripple, your favorite.
You messy little hooligan! I just cleaned that floor eight months ago! You're out of here! Yeah, yeah. [throws Jimmy out of the Candy Bar and into the street]
[Episode starts at Lindbergh Elementary School; the bell rings and all the students leave Miss Fowl's classroom after taking a history test]
Okay, that history test was hard.
Yeah, now I know how you guys feel when I beat on you.
Four score and seven years ago... oxygen!
Hey, guys! Man, that test was cake! I didn't know whether to answer the questions to put frosting on 'em, am I right? Am I right?
Actually, Sheen, I thought it was fairly challenging.
Challenging? Please! My grandma's chihuahua could've aced it. I've done connect-the-dot drawings that were harder. [Sheen suddenly cringes as Miss Fowl calls for him]
[sticking out from behind the classroom door, wanting to have a talk with him; sharply] SHEEN!!!
Ex-squeeze me, Miss Fowl probably wants to congratulate me on the best job well done ever.
[Later, outside school… Jimmy and Carl look at Sheen's history test up-close, which unfortunately, he now failed with every question answered in Ultra Lord themed topics]
Quadruple F-minus?!
Well, how was I supposed to know Ultra Lord wasn't the father of our country? That's what it says on the Ultra Lord website.
Wait, didn't you write the Ultra Lord website?
Your point? [Jimmy rolls his eyes before walking up to his hover car] Oh. Anyway, Miss Fowl said if I don't pass tomorrow's math final, I'm gonna be left back!
Left back?! That's terrible!
Tell me about it! I can't be in a class with a bunch of babies who wet their pants and cry for their mommies!
Well, technically, they'd be the same age we are now, and we don't wet our pants and cry for... [stops and sees Carl sucking his thumb and holding a llama plushie]
What?
Sheen, I won't allow Miss Fowl to leave you back!
No way! We're the Three Amigops!
[confused] "The Three Amigops"?
Yeah, well, you see, I was making us name tags, [shows Jimmy his "Amigops" name tag] and I accidentally added a P to "amigos", so--
Pardon me, but my LIFE IS ENDING!! [dramatically shakes Carl]
Don't worry, Sheen. [as he and Sheen get into the hovercar] We're gonna help you pass that math test if it takes all night!
Yeah! No one splits up the Three Amigops! [tries to get in, but the hovercar flies off without him, then immediately comes back]
[realizes] Sorry, Carl.
Okay. [then finally gets into the hovercar and it flies off with all of them in it]
[entering the classroom] Good morrow, scholars. Sorry I'm tardy, I was doing this morning's crossword puzzle in pen.
Big deal. My dad and I do the crossword puzzle all the time.
In the Beijing Times? [holds up and unravels his long crossword puzzle, all answered in Beijing writing]
[giving Sheen his math test] Here's your test, Sheen. Take a seat and get started. Remember, class, if you get stuck on a question, just skip it and come back to it late--
[raises up his finished test] Done!
What? But that's impossible!
Well, I would have even finished sooner if someone hadn't been blathering away.
Sweet muffins! These answers are right!
Of course, they're mostly right, duh. They're somewhat obvious to anyone with half a brain--let alone this slack-jaw collection of nitwits.
[stands up] HEY! My doctor says my jaw's only slightly slack!
Yeah, Ultra Dork, since when did you become Lord of the Smarts?
Since yesterday. Observe! [He gets out of his seat and heads off to the chalkboard with a pull-down sheet of the Periodic Table of Elements] Rb: Rubidium. Alkali metal discovered in 1861, melting point 39° Centigrade. [shows another picture of the planet Neptune] Neptune, eighth planet from the sun. Principal moons: Triton and Nereid. Named for the Roman god of water. [walks over to Carl] Carl Wheezer. Mammalian order: primate. 70% water, 20% carbon, 2% mucus. [Carl sneezes] 1% mucus. Any questions?
Yes. [now determined] How'd you like to SIT DOWN?!? [the class launches into a round of pleads for Sheen to sit down, while Jimmy shakes his head slowly in disappointment]
Yeah, sit down.
Go ahead, mock all you want! The barbs of a tiny brain are as nothing to me! [cackles evilly] Miss Fowl, can I be excused?
No!
May I not be UN-excused?
[hesistantly] Y...yes?
[points at Miss Fowl] PSYCH! [then runs out of the classroom, as he continues laughing, while Miss Fowl groans in annoyance]
[in shock] Jimmy, what's wrong with Sheen?
I-I don't know! His IQ should have stopped increasing hours ago. I'd better get to the lab. [raises hand] Miss Fowl, will you not let me not leave the classroom?
No! Uh...yes.
Thank you. [gets up and leaves the classroom to follow Sheen, as Miss Fowl exclaims in disappointment]
[to himself] Jimmy and Sheen need me. I can't let 'em down. [raises hand] Miss Fowl, can I never ever not be dis-excused sometimes?
[points at Carl emphatically] PLANT IT!
[sits back down nervously] Okay.
[as he and Carl show up from below] Hail, mighty overlord!
What the…?
We have brought you a magnificent crown, crafted from the finest semiprecious metals, to celebrate your glorious reign.
Hmm… It is rather fetching. BESTOW IT ON MY HEAD! Not you… [points at Carl] ...Carl.
[thinking] Baby llamas in the meadow. Baby llamas in the meadow. Oh, no. One of them's escaping! He's heading towards town! "Town" rhymes with "crown"! JIMMY AND I DISGUISED THE BRAIN DRAIN HELMET AS A CROWN!!! AAAHHH!!!
I heard that!
Sheen, please, we're trying to help you! Your brain is growing at a dangerously fast pace!
Silence! You have plotted against the overlord! Your insolence has angered me!
[with a now giant-sized head] I control the wind, and I shall rain fire down from the heavens! Good-bye, Sheen the overlord! HELLO, SHEEN THE GOD!!!!!!
[preparing to leave, having enough] That's it. I've had it with you, and your big freaky head. [walks away]
[to Libby, as he floats down] Wait, come back! You'll like being the wife of a god! I'll let you choose the patio furniture!
Greetings! One called "Sheen"..
[astonished] Ultra Lord?!?!?!
[Jimmy and Carl are inside the Ultra Lord costume, controlling him]
Left, right, left...
Okay, stop, Carl.
Is it really you?!
You betcha! I've come to welcome you, to the Ultra Pantheon of the super-POWERFUL!
Wait a second. How do I know you're not even an impostor?
Hmm... I see your point. Well, I guess I'll be on my way.
Wait, don't go! [floats toward Ultra Lord and flies in front of him] It's just, the odds of meeting the ACTUAL Ultra Lord at this very moment, are 16,755 to 1...!
Well, if you want to make SURE it's REALLY me, why not ask me a series of difficult trivia questions?
[smiles as he points at Ultra Lord] Hey, good idea!
Ready on the Ultra Lord website, Carl?
[while looking up the website] I'm on it, Jimmy. Let's do it!
Where were you born?
[while reading the screen] On the Planet in Mektar of Vector 8...
...on the Nebulon Galaxy!
Right! Now, next question. What's your favorite mid-morning snack?
[reads the screen] Nitrogen Bar...
...and a Decaf Latte!
Bingo! One final question. What did Robo-Fiend say when you blasted him with your ION Ray?
[Carl sneezes, and slams down one of the controls very hard, which causes Ultra Lord to fly across the street]
OW! YAAH!
[excited] Exactamundo! He said "OW, YAAH"! You ARE the real Ultra Lord! Now, join me, Ultra Lord! With your magma photons and my brains, we'll triumph over the galaxy!
It's an Ultra deal! But first, I need an Ultra-favor.
Anything, just name it!
I need you to... [pulls out the Brain Drain helmet.] ...drain your brain.
[disappointed, yet puzzled] Huh? But...but why?
You're too smart! All the other super powerful guys will think you're annoying.
[refuses] I won't do it!
Your hero, Ultra Lord, commands you.
[still refusing, impatiently] I WON'T!
[demanding] PUT IT ON!
[in a loud, demonic booming voice] YOU DARE TO ORDER ME?! FEEL THE WRATH OF MY BRAIN BOLT!!!!!
[as Judy enters the kitchen with her suitcase] Mom? Are you going on a trip?
Oh, you noticed. Well, since you asked, I'm going to a spa for a week to be pampered unmercifully.
Hughsy-doodles is confused.
I'm sick of being unappreciated and doing all the work around here. [takes out her long chores list and hands it to Jimmy] Here are the chores I do every week to keep this place up and running. You two are going to have to do every one of them while I'm gone. Good-bye. (And stay out of trouble.) [slams the door and leaves]
Whoa! No Mom for a week?
No one to tell us your bath is ready?
Or make us change our clothes. Or make us leave the lab and come to dinner.
No one to tell us you can't have pizza for every meal, or say, "Hugh, put down that duck and talk to me for once."
We're free man! Masters of our own destiny. We rule this house.
We, uh… well, once we finish the chores.
Oh, yeah. What's the first one?
SheenJeffrey Garcia · 171 quotes
CarlRob Paulsen · 162 quotes
CindyCarolyn Lawrence · 108 quotes
HughMark DeCarlo · 79 quotes
LibbyCrystal Scales · 71 quotes
JudyMegan Cavanagh · 58 quotes
Miss FowlAndrea Martin · 38 quotes
PWPrincipal Willoughby16 quotes
SamBilly West · 16 quotes
ButchRob Paulsen · 15 quotes
WMr. Wheezer15 quotes
NickCandi Milo · 13 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · 473 quotes