Why does the boring lady ruin career day?
Kitty, you wanna file that one?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Kids, being a supervillain is a great career! If you want something, you just steal it! Like I did with these pizzas. Also, supervillains can stay up past 10:00 on a weeknight!
[in high-pitched voice] Wait, kids, think about your future!
[laughs; also in high-pitched voice] Kitty, you sound funny! Hey, listen to me! I'm Tiny Dudley! A little secret agent who lives in a thimble, and eats mini-mini waffles! Now you say something funny.
I hear a beeping sound.
I don't get it.
Forgot the pirate-themed forks.
[groans] Now I get it. Tiny Dudley drives a mini minivan. [back at T.U.F.F. Headquarters; still in high-pitched voice] I can't believe those kids turned evil!
Dudley, the gas wore off ten minutes ago.
I know, I just like talking like this. [now in low-pitched voice] I also like talking like this.
Good work, kids! Time to open the presents. [opens the first present, revealing a massage chair] Ooh, a massage chair! It's from the Chameleon. Oh, I shouldn't have. [shocked as all the kids begin opening presents] Oh, what are you doing?! All the presents are mine!
RKRaccoon Kid
But we helped steal 'em. They're ours too.
KKids
Yeah!
That tears it! I mean, stop tearing it! [takes out a remote] This is an override for your transformation suits. It's also a curling iron. I stole it from the pointless gadget store, eh! Now I control what you become! [zaps the kids, turning them into bugs and puts them into a bowl]
Why did you turn us into bugs, weird lizard man? I thought we were your friends.
You were my friends, until you touched my stuff! Now you're my supper! Notice, Agent Katswell, I didn't turn any of them into vegetables. Time to chow down.
Dudley, we have to save those kids!
Now's our chance to show them what being a secret agent is all about! Luckily, I still have my thermo-nuclear thermos. [presses the button with his tongue] Wow, that's hot root beer!
Another thing about secret agents, kids… [uses the remote to change the kids back into themselves] They also get to kick some bad guy butt!
[The kids all shapeshift into pointy, steel-toed cowboy boots and chase after the Chameleon, kicking his butt]
Okay, I get the point! [laughs] I'm clever, even when I'm losing.
RKRaccoon Kid
Being a secret agent is way cooler than being a supervillain!
KKids
[chanting] We love T.U.F.F.! We love T.U.F.F.!
Now let's celebrate with a real party!
[in high-pitched voice] ¡Adios, amigos! I also like talking in French.
Whew. Dudley, you're late for our mission. Where are you?
I'm here, Kitty. I went undercover as your luggage. Also, I wanted you to carry me.
Snaptrap, you're going to jail for blowing up the "Say Cheese" store.
You know, it's weird. I've blown up a lot of combination cheese-and-camera shops, but I don't remember blowing up the one in Petsburg.
Actually, boss, according to your schedule, we were at the D.O.O.M. picnic the day that store was blown up.
Wait a minute. If you didn't blow it up, then who did? [to Chameleon] Chameleon?
Fine! I confess! It was me! I transformed myself into Snaptrap, and framed him! There, I said it! You broke me down! Your incredible psychological tactics are impossible to resist! I hope you are satisfied.
I was just going to ask you if you had the key to unlock these handcuffs.
[facepalms himself] Oh, darn it!
Why'd you do it, Chameleon?
To get rid of my criminal competition. Also, I wanted a free ride to Petsburg. There's a publisher there who rejected my book. I was going to put a very lonely rattlesnake in his bed!
That means I'm innocent! I get to go home.
Not so fast! You may not have blown up the store, but you still tried to annihilate the Chameleon and me. You're going to jail!
Let's not play the blame game.
[disguised as a pot plant, then shapeshifts into a wolf citizen] Hello! It is I, the Chameleon-- I mean, Lord of the Flies! [holds up a plate of flies] Here, have a fly. I'm sorry, I'm all out of silverfish. Oh, tally-ho, English muffin, fish and chips! [looks at the Queen's crown] And now, to make my move! [transforms into his regular self, laughs evilly while crawling up the wall, attaches himself to the ceiling and rappels down onto the Queen's crown with his tail and tries to pull it off] What is this? A crown or a bike helmet?! And why is there a cake inside of it?!
QQueen
Guards! Stop this thief at once!
[As the guards are about to seize the Chemeleon, Big Ben chimes]
GGuard
Oh, jolly good, tea time!
No tea for me. I'm filled up on flies. Well, if I can't take the crown, I will have to take you! [grabs the Queen and escapes through the chimney]
[flying over; to Dudley through her wrist-com] Dudley, the Chameleon's got the Queen! [The Chameleon turns himself into a British taxi with the Queen inside and drives away] Where are you?
[still in prison tower] Over here.
[D.O.O.M. Headquarters; 3 to 5 years later…]
[as he and his friends walk in; bummed] Well, that was a rough three to five years. I wonder if this carton of milk I left on the table is still good. Drink it, Francisco! [Francisco drinks the carton of spoiled milk, making his face turn green and collapses] Let's go steal some more milk at grocery store! I'll call T.U.F.F. and tell them.
Snaptrap, don't you get it by now? We keep on getting caught 'cause you always tell T.U.F.F. our plans!
[in denial] I'm sorry, Larry. I can't hear you… FROM THE SHARK TANK! [pulls the lever, opening the shark tank underneath Larry and the sharks begin mauling him] Wow, you can really tell the sharks haven't eaten in three to five years.
[climbing out; fed up and outraged] That's it! I've had enough! You're a big, stinky bully, and I quit! [walks off with purpose]
Sticks and stones, Larry! Seriously, guys. Throw sticks and stones at him!
[Ollie and Francisco throw sticks and stones at Larry as he exits]
OW! My bones!
I have exciting news fellas! With Larry gone, you two get to take turns in the shark tank.
[as he and Francisco look at each other and make a run for it] Wait up, Larry!
[digs into his pockets] Darn it! I'm out of sticks and stones! Well, who needs those losers? I'm the only smart one around here anyway.
It sure is easy when they tell us when and where they're committing their crimes. What boobs.
Hello?! These boobs have ears!
Oh! Sorry, Chameleon.
[on-screen] It is I, Larry, leader of Genius Larry's Order of Mayhem, otherwise known as: "G.L.O.O.M."
No offense, but "Larry's" not a very scary name.
Oh, all right. Then from now on, call me…Murray!
[Kitty and Chief gasp in shock]
Okay, Murray, you've got our attention. Now, just tell us your diabolical plan, so we can arrest you go out for brunch.
MMurray (Larry)
Ah! But that's the twist. I'm not gonna tell you my diabolical plan. Murray, out!
MMurray (Larry)
As soon as the sun goes down, I'll plunge this city into darkness and chaos and rob Petropolis blind! Then we can finally afford our own lair!
That'll be great! I'm sick of runnin' into Snaptrap's mom in the bathroom. [he and Murray (Larry) quiver in disgust]
Freeze, G.L.O.O.M. agents!
MMurray (Larry)
It's T.U.F.F. agent Kitty Katswell! Blast her with the fog machine! [Francisco mistakenly takes out the sewing machine] That's the sewing machine!
Well, well, if it isn't the big bad G.L.O.O.M. agents and the super-scary Murray. I mean, Larry! I think someone owes me an apology.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's T.U.F.F. Puppy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.