Jerri Blank quotes from Strangers with Candy

Noblet

[seeing Jerri's scarred hands] Arghh! My hands!

Jerri

But they're mine!

Noblet

What's the difference?

In my country you'd be a real queen.

Jerri

Yeah, well that's 'cause your country's run by monkeys.

Noblet

In answer to the question, what was the Magna Carta, you wrote "Planet Zoot." And in response to the query, what was the capital of France during the Nazi occupation, you traced your hand.

Jerri

Oh yeah, I drew a beak on my thumb there. Oh! It’s a turkey! It must've been the holidays.

Noblet

It was yesterday, Jerri.

Do you mind? I'm kinda dry.

Jerri

Well I'm pretty wet.

Jerri

Seriously.

Jerri

I'm confused. Dreams....What are mine?

Noblet

I don’t know, Jerri. It's your future. What do you want to do in the future?

Jerri

Go to my locker.

Noblet

I mean way down the line, Jerri. I want you to think far into the future. What are you going to do?

Jerri

Open it.

Jellineck

I was a complete zero, Jerri.

Jerri

And now?

Jellineck

Well, and now you can multiply that zero by a hundred!

Jerri

Wow, that must be a lot.

Jerri

Drake! Why did you spread those vicious lies?

'Cause you didn't spread those vicious thighs.

Tammi

I've got something that boys want and they can't have it.

Jerri

Really? How about girls?

Tammi

What?

Jerri

Nothing. Just testing the waters.

Tammi

Are you thinking about having sex already?

Jerri

Does a pimp carry a razor?

Tammi

I don't know!

Jerri

Trust me, they all do.

Jellineck

I was just pawing at your dead father a moment ago and it really helped.

Jerri

You know, I think I saw him today. He was waiting for a bus and I screamed, "Daddy! Daddy! You're not dead!" But I think he had to go somewhere, because he ran away really fast.

Jerri

Hello, ladies, what are you doing?

We were just wondering why you'd come talk to us.

Jerri

I want to know what plans you have for Fri-Sat-Sund.

Well, first we're going to avoid you. Then after that we thought we'd shun you and then we're going to a party. Hey! Why don't you not come with us!

Sara

Oh Jerri, I didn't know you were coming home this early. We would've left sooner.

Jerri

Where are we going?

Sara

Well, if by "we" you mean Derrick and I, the answer is a family getaway to Good Time Island!

Jerri

[excited] Good Time Island?!

Sara

Oh, did I remember not to tell you?

Check it out, troll--An all-access pass with full release!

Jerri

I'll go pack my things!

Sara

Oh, I'm sorry, Jerri, you know the car only has room for four and we already have two. Oh and if you get hungry later, um, eat something.

My name's Rebecca. What's yours, Jerri?

Jerri

Jerri. What's yours, Rebecca?

Rebecca.

Jerri

What kind of place is this?

Oh, it's just a collective cooperative community service operation outreach program project.

Jerri

Okay, as long as you’re not a cult.

Jerri

Maybe I should head home.

Home to what, Jerri? A family that doesn't care and friends who don't love you?

Jerri

Well, technically, it's my friends who don't care and my family that doesn't love me.