I've got bad news, everyone. You've all been banned from Fish Stew Pizza.
PearlOh, uh, that's okay.
That pizza wasn't even good.
Aren't you guys upset about this?
But these are our neighbors!
There's nothing we can do about that now.
Pearl
Now we have to figure out a way to take care of that pufferfish.
What's the point of saving people if they're just gonna ban you from their pizza shops?
We don't do it for thanks.
Yeah, see! That's so nice of you, the Pizzas don't even know! If they got to know you they'd see how fun [Amethyst], and smart [Pearl], and mysterious you are [Garnet]!
Hmm. [gasp] I know! I'll throw a little party on the beach in front of the temple! Just us and the Pizzas.
I don't know, Steven. I mean...
Don't worry! I'll take care of everything!
[playing "Golf Quest Mini" as Prof. Sandtraps] "I can't lose! I am the greatest golfer in the UNIVER-R-R-RSE!!!" [imitates explosion sounds; "secret ending unlocked"] All right! Secret ending! [the Gems warp back]
Pearl
Hey, Steven! We're back!
AAce
[in-game] "Project F.L.O.G.? That's 'golf' backwards. [pushes button, enters room with what seems to be a cryogenic capsule] What is this?"
[pops in front of his face] Hey, Steven! Wanna hear about where we've been?
[grunts, moves her hair out of the way] Wait! Wait, hold on!
AAce
[wipes glass] "June 9th, 2014? But that was the day he disappeared."
[Amethyst rolls down in front] Hey!
Steven! [places an artifact] Look at this.
It's the Wailing Stone we found!
The Wailing Stone that I found.
Pearl
Isn't it neat? It uses high-frequency soundwaves—
Pearl
—as a message relay between two fixed points...
Look! You just have to push this!
[it suddenly emits an extremely scathing sound. The game ending continues playing before the TV breaks off in front of Steven. Pearl slams on the knob and stops]
Pearl
Amethyst, I told you not to turn it on in the house!
[chuckles] Chill out, Pea! It's not like anyone got hurt and Steven loved it! [beat] ..Steven?
THAT WAS THE SECRET ENDING!! Now I have to replay the final dungeon all over again!! It's not fair!! I can't go mini-golfing, I can't play my game, I can't stop going into the bathroom because I ate all that cream corn! So much corn... [sighs] I just wish I had a place for myself. [Steven's gem starts glowing] Huh? My gem! [everyone then looks back; Rose's symbol starts glowing at the Temple Gate]
Pearl
Rose's door... [unlocking sounds] Steven... your gem is opening your mother's room.
[the symbol grows and envelopes the gate into a doorway]
[walks to the door] Woah...!
PAPearl/Amethyst
Steven, wait!
Steven, don't go in there!
It's never about what I wanna do, is it?! Well, now I have a place where I'm going, and YOU—CAN'T—COME!!!
Whoa! What magical place of mysteries is this?
Pearl
Oh, I'm so glad you asked! This was once a communication hub for Gem-kind, but lately, it's begun transmitting bursts of electromagnetic interference!
NOOOOOOO!!! I'll save you, television!! Hi-yah! [kicks, pushes a pillar]
[lifts him] Sorry, but we need a Steven at least [shapeshifts into a bigger macho Steven] this strong for this job!
[gasps] It's all the me I could be!
[Amethyst puts Steven down, punches the pillar thoroughly]
Pearl
Amethyst, we could be here all day taking out each of these pillars individually.
Ugh! I hate it when you're right. You get this look on your face... Yeah, that's the one.
Pearl
What we need is a well thought out plan—
No. What we need is Sugilite. Amethyst, fuse with me.
APAmethyst/Pearl
Whaaaat?!
[Amethyst starts screaming excitedly, Pearl looking fumed]
Yeah! Let's mash it up! Bigger, badder, better! Ohohohohohoh!
Hold your horses! Are... you guys going to become a Gem fusion?!
BBoth
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH—!!!
Pearl
WAIT!! Garnet, think about this. You and Amethyst can be a little... unstable when your personalities combine. We need to be careful! Fuse with me instead!
[touches her shoulder] We don't need to be careful. We just need to be huge.
Oh, yeah! Let's wreck this joint!
[tends to a tiny Centipeedle] Uhh, hi. Ah, it's okay. Look, please don't be scared of me. See? I'm not gonna hurt you. Yeah, just relax. [the Centipeetle soon relaxes itself] Yeah, that's it. Doesn't relaxing feel nice? You wanna... come over here and relax with me? [it growls] Yeah, we can totally just hang out right here on the floor. [it walks slowly forward] Yeah, don't be shy. We can be friends. My name's Steve—
Pearl
STEVEN!! Get away from that thing!! [Garnet jumps]
Wait! It's not— [Garnet lands down in front of the Centipeedle; Pearl lands to Steven]
Pearl
This was a terrible idea! And he's even managed to pop a bubble and let out that awful... thing!
[Garnet clutches her sparkling left gauntlet at the Centipeedle, which starts backing away from her]
Pearl
If that thing hurt you, so help me I'll—
No! It didn't do anything! [runs and blocks Garnet] Garnet! Don't hurt it! I accidentally let it out of its bubble, but it didn't even try to hurt me. It's not like the other monsters, it's just scared and confused. [Amethyst jumps down] Please, Garnet! I'm begging you!
[Garnet stares face-to-face with Steven for a beat]
I can't say no to that face.
Pearl
Excuse me?! You can't be serious!
I think you should try and tame it, Steven. [Steven runs to Garnet and hugs her left leg]
Garnet, thank you sooo much!
Pearl
Hmm... [Amethyst starts laughing]
Shut down by the G-squad! Ha ha ha ha!!
Pearl
Well, let's at least take some precaution.
So, what's the problem? Amethyst falls on stuff all the time.
Pearl
It'd be fine if it was just her body, but her gem is damaged.
So, what do you do to fix it?
Pearl
Before... we had Rose... [Garnet walks to Steven]
Steven, your mother had healing tears that flowed from her gem. She felt real love for those around her, and she felt real sorrow when they were hurt. You have the Rose Quartz gem now. I know that power is in you too. [Steven comes to googly-eyed purple eggplant girl who is sassy and lazy and eats salsa all day]
AMETHYST, SHOW ME YOUR GEM!!!
[vines wrap around Steven, leaps out in a burst of roses. Cut back to Steven straining in front of Amethyst]
It's not working! I guess I'm just too tough to cry.
Pearl
Just today, you were crying about snakes.
They don't have any arms!
We have no choice. We need to take Amethyst to Rose's Healing Spring.
Pssh! Guys, I'm fine! I'm not gonna get any wor-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r... [pop, speaks backwards] ...hcaeb eht no gniod uoy era tahw syug yeh?
Did you see what I did? It was magic! My tears brought the fountain back to life and saved Amethyst!
Pearl
..I'm pretty sure me and Garnet unplugging the clogged chamber brought the fountain back to life.
[beat] You don't think my crying was... a little related to that?
Pearl
Oh, Steven. You don't have healing tears. You'll never have any real magic powers, [Steven becomes horrified] and we don't want anything more to do with you.
"She didn't really say that!"
[cut back to present]
No... but that's what it felt like.
Is that why you've been so down? [he shrugs] Oh. You can have your juice back.
Nah, that's okay. [sniffles, sighs] Everyone expects me to be like my mom. What if I never get those powers?
Then you'll be like me. That's not so bad.
But... if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, or Pearl... [starts crying, grips pants tightly] and I-I can't go on missions! [Connie touches his hand]
You don't need any powers to be here with me.
[a gust of wind blows through; Connie slurps his juice box. She leans forward to Steven and sparkles magically appear on her head]
I think... [sigh] there's just... [take glasses off] There's something wrong with my glasses. [sees Steven clearly] My... My eyes... I-I-I can see!
I can see without my glasses!
Did I... heal your eyes? But... how?
[he looks at the sparkles around the straw of the Durian juice carton; Steven gasps, Connie drops it]
The juice box! I don't have healing tears! I HAVE HEALING SPIT!!
What am I going to tell my parents? What am I going to tell my optometrist?!
I don't even know! [hugs her] Oh, thank you, Connie! Lion, let's go tell the Gems! They're never gonna believe this!
[observes school equipment] Yup, it's all coming together.
Pearl
So, how do we begin our... school?
Ugh... I... I don't know! This is everything Connie told me! Why do I never ask follow-up questions?! Who will teach little Stevie now?!
Pearl
[gasps] Teach you?! Steven! If only I had known that's what you really wanted!
[Pearl then performs incantations and slowly summons an object out of her gemstone]
Pearl
We found this Gem-powered mirror at the Galaxy Warp. It can capture and display any event it's witnessed in all of Gem history. [it drops in Steven's hands] It'll offer you everything you've ever wanted to know about your fellow Gems and our culture.
I must be incredibly important to Gem culture.
Pearl
[scoffs] It's just you in there. It hasn't even been activated. [clears throat] Show us the Galaxy Warp. [long pause] Show us the Galaxy Warp! [beat] Oh, come on! [tugs it dragging Steven]
Pearl
I know you've seen it! [examines mirror, sighs] It is in pretty rough shape. It must finally be broken. [sighs] What a shame.
It doesn't seem broken to me.
Pearl
[sighs] Oh, well. I guess that's the end of our school.
[starry-eyed] Ohh! Ahh! So, you could say... school's out for summer?
Pearl
Yes. Good, Steven. There are many ways to say the same thing.
[gasps] School's out! [runs outside]
Pearl
Hmm. The asymmetry of this pile is really starting to bother me.
[The Gems have just learned that the mirror is being sentient towards Steven and are horrified.]
Pearl
It's talking to him? It shouldn't be able to do that. I-it should just be following orders...
Steven. [walks towards him]
MMirror
[displaying an image of Steven, Lars, Sadie laughing and using his voice] Noooo!
You should just give us back the mirror. It will be safer where we can watch it.
MMirror
[still displaying Steven laughing] Noooo!
Steven. Don't make me have to take it from you.
[confused] It doesn't want to go with you. Don't you hear it screaming?
Steven, it's just a mirror, a tool. It can't want anything.
[she reaches out to take the mirror from him.]
MMirror
[now repeatedly] Noooo! Noooo! Noooo! [Steven looks at the mirror and then back at Garnet, greatly disturbed.] Noooo! Noooo! Noooo! [now displaying an image of Steven yelling] Noooo!
Ah! [places his hand over the mirror and snaps] It wants to be with me!
[he tries to smack her hand away, but accidentally hits her face instead, knocking her shades off in the process. He stiffens in shock at this. Cut to first-person view on Steven.]
[Garnet, all three eyes exposed, looks straight at Steven in anger, giving him a terrifying furious look. Cut back to Steven, who quickly glances at the hand that he had hit Garnet with, and then looks back at her with a look of complete terror on his face.]
[gasps] Ah! Ah! AAAAAAHHHHHH! [runs out the front door] AAAAAAHHHHHH! I'M SORRY!
[puts her shades back on, clenching her fists] That little boy is in big trouble.
Pearl
[following Garnet and Amethyst, who angrily walk out of the house to find Steven] Garnet, wait! I'm sure he didn't understand what he was doing!
[Steven approaches the blue girl with the cracked gem on her back; she turns to Steven with blank eyes]
Thank you. [stands up] You didn't... oh! [Steven catches her fall] You actually talked to me. You helped me! It's Steven, right?
I'm Lapis. Lapis Lazuli. Are you really a Crystal Gem?
Wha? [the Gems run forward to them, summoning their weapons] WAIT!!
You... [Steven turns back; a huge water-arm slowly rises out of the ocean behind her; to the Gems] You three knew I was in there, and you didn't do anything. Did you even wonder who I used to be?! [slams the water-arm on the Gems, trapping Garnet; Pearl and Amethyst land down opposite sides]
Pearl
Steven, run!!
I'm Lapis Lazuli, and you can't keep me trapped here anymore! [Steven gasps] They're not gonna let us leave.
Leave?! [Lapis parts the ocean apart to make a path]
B-b-but... B-but I... uh... [Lapis becomes down for a beat, closes path]
[Garnet breaks free and punches the water-arm away, runs to Steven and Lapis]
Don't trust them, Steven. Goodbye.
[a huge wave knocks Steven and Garnet back behind Lapis as she walks into the ocean; Pearl and Amethyst run to them]
Pearl
[hugs him] Steven! Are you okay?!
Yeah. I'm fine. So, that was another Gem?
Pearl
[sighs] Yes. [the Gems stare at the ocean for a beat]
MDMayor Dewey
Hey! It's those magical ladies! [runs at Garnet] What's going on here?!
The ocean is gone. Obviously.
MDMayor Dewey
That's right! Now it's just a desert. No one wants to take a vacation to... Desert City! [bawling] Aww, we're gonna lose all our summer business!
And all the beach babes! Awww!
Who's gonna buy my fries?
SMr. Smiley
Who's gonna have fun at Funland?!
MDMayor Dewey
As mayor, I DEMAND YOU EXPLAIN THIS IMMEDIATE— [Garnet slaps megaphone off his hand] ..ly...
Pearl
She's the Gem you released from the mirror.
[Pearl projects a hologram of Lapis through her gemstone; the citizens all gasp and awe in amazement indistinctly]
But she's a Gem just like us!
Pearl
There's a lot you don't know about Gems, Steven.
I've never seen so many warp pads before! I hope I have enough of these Crying Breakfast Friends stickers. Where do all these warp pads go, anyway?
Pearl
Well, Steven, these warp pads were used to travel off-planet. They were our connection to the Gem Homeworld and to Gem-controlled planets all over the universe.
[gasps] You mean we could go anywhere we want in outer space?!
Yeahhh, we could do that if they weren't all busted.
Pearl
It's true. The Galaxy Warps have all been inactive for thousands of years.
Pearl
It's fine. I'll always have my memories of other worlds, but now I'm here... on Earth... forever.
Pearl
Right. [pats his head] With you. [walks to the destroyed central pad] It really is incredible out there, though. I wish you could see it, Steven.
[via communications] "Hey, can you hear me?! Where do you two think you're going?!"
Hey, Dad! Guess where I am!
I know where you are—it's where you're going that concerns me!
Don't worry, Dad! This is just a quick test flight.
Pearl
This'll be perfectly fine, just a pop over to the nearest star system. I'll give him back in 50 years.
"WHAT!?! I'll be dead in 50 years!! Pearl, you bring him back right now or I'll—" [Pearl cuts him off] Hello?! Hello!?!
Pearl, I'm not supposed to go! Pearl!!
Pearl
Oh, this is so exciting! Steven, you're gonna love it. [plays keyboard keys to a discordant note, opening the ship's wings with eight engines] Hang on tight!
[the spaceship blasts through the clouds and up into the stratosphere. For a moment, Steven looks and sees a piece of debris flying past him]
What was that? [the ship's alarm blares loudly as more parts of the ship fly away] Pearl?!
Pearl
We can make it! We're almost there! [the ship is starting to break apart]
Pearl
I'm gonna show it to you...
[Steven hesitates for a beat. He sees a hatch release cord and pulls it, shooting out the ship's glass dome]
Pearl
Steven! What are you doing?!
We need to go, Pearl! We're not gonna make it!
Pearl
But we're almost there! [sees a cluster of stars before Steven comes to her face to face]
Pearl! I know you miss space, and I know you worked hard! But sometimes... you just got to know when to bail.
Man, why did Connie have to say I have one mother instead of zero... or three?
We'll figure this thing out. We just have to put our heads together.
(gets an idea) Why didn't I think of this before? It's so obvious! You can all come to dinner -- all three of you, fused into ONE! (snaps finger)
Pearl
What?!
Pearl
Steven, you know we only fuse in deadly situations!
It'd be like—like I'm actually bringing my whole family!
Fusion is serious magic, not a trick for dinner parties.
I know. Then I guess this is it. I'll never get to see Connie again. Oh, Connie! I'll never know a star that shines as bright as you.
(sighs) We have no choice.
Where's this bus taking us?
Wherever we end up. We'll find a way to survive. I've been reading about sustainable living.
Maybe it'll take us to a real apple farm!
What's up with you and apples today?
[They both hear thumping sounds and look out the back window and see Alexandrite is running after them]
STEVE-E-E-N! [Steven and Connie scream; picks up the bus] You two, come out of that bus this instant!
Aah! Okay! J-just put the bus down first.
[Back at The Crab Shack; the two kids are reunited with their families as they begin to rebuke them]
MDr. Maheswaran
I don't even know where to begin with you, young la--
Pearl
What were you thinking, running off with Connie like that? You could have gotten yourselves hurt!
Or gotten mangled in traffic.
Pearl
Steven, you are in very big trouble, and we have no choice but to punish you.
No dinner for 1,000 years.
Pearl
We would never starve you, but you will lose your TV privileges… for 1,000 years.
No! The midseason pre-finale of "Under the Knife"! How can you do this to me?!
Because we love you, Steven.
MDr. Maheswaran
Wow. That was a masterful use of the "because we love you" shutdown. I'm quite partial to the "It's for your own good!" myself.
MMr. Maheswaran
That "1,000 years of no dinner" bit, was pretty funny. [laughs]
All comedy is derived from fear.
MMr. Maheswaran
[laughs] You are too much.
MDr. Maheswaran
I did not know what to make of the two of- Excuse me, four of you, but I see that you are responsible parents. Uh, caregivers? Guardians.
So, I can still hang out with Steven?
Steven Universe · 493 quotes
