Stuart Bondeck quotes from Spin City

Stuart

(after putting a sandwich in the poor box) What? If they're poor, they're hungry.

Stuart

Yeah, I've been there.

Stuart

(in a Bill Clinton like voice) Deny, deny, deny.

Stuart

Come on, its my bet. Paul, I said its my bet

Stuart

I'll see your $10, and raise you $20.

Stuart

Paul, I can't decide whether I should stay in or not

Carter

Believe it or not, I came out at Thanksgiving.

Nikki

How'd you pull that off?

Carter

Very subtle. "Dad, great job carving the turkey. I'm a homosexual."

Nikki

Well, every year, I go to my sister's house, hug her three beautiful children, then my family gathers round, ties me to a chair, and pummels me with questions about why I'm not married yet.

Stuart

Me, my mom, my dad, three Hungry Man dinners, and a big box of wine. The first "I hate you" comes out around 9:30.

Stuart

You see grasshopper, one must understand the rhythms of the game-. WAAAAHH!! -In order to truly master ebb and flow, ying and yang. Are you prepared to do battle?

Janelle

No, I want you to talk some more.

Carter

It's not like I'm sleeping with every man in town. You are straight. Do you sleep with every woman you meet?

Stuart

YES!

Stuart

Who's looking out for the white middle-class, heterosexual male?

Carter

Congress.

Paul

What do lesbians know about me? This could be a fabulous opportunity!

Stuart

To remind them why they're lesbians?

Mike

Basically, by 6 o'clock, anyone in the city with breasts is going to hate us.

Stuart

Welcome to my world.

Nikki

Why couldn't the Mayor just stand up?

Nikki

What? What am I missing?

Mike

How am I gonna explain this. Okay, Nikki. Even though the Mayor wasn't actually standing...he was at full attention.

Nikki

Nooo.

Mike

Yes, now how are we gonna explain this little snub to the Woman's Action Caucus?

Stuart

Snub? The man paid the woman the ultimate compliment!

Mike

Yeah, if they were orangutans.

Nikki

Can't you guys control those things?

Stuart

Not always.

Mike

You can scold it, or smack it around a little bit. That only seems to encourage it.

Nikki

I am fascinated.

James

Sometimes all it takes is a thought, memory...sometimes all it takes is a slight breeze.

Stuart

Why do women always go for losers like him?

Carter

What, instead of losers like you?