Mayor quotes from Spin City

It's not jealousy; I just wish I had what he had.

(to Mike whose pen has leaked in his mouth when he was chewing on it) Your mouth is blue. Did you have a snow cone?

Why's that Mike?

Ha this city... Somebody should do something.

(After looking at a picture of Mike kissing Heidi Klum's butt) This used to be my ass Flaherty.

I complimented Judge Stenciler's mustache today.

I know... She was not happy.

Mr. Mayor, would you consider marching in the gay pride parade this week?

What are you, drunk?

Mike

(about Mayor Garfield's passing) We need to get working on your statement.

I killed him. I killed him dead.

Mike

That's a good starting point. How about softening it up a little?

It was back in the '60s, and I was at this party and some idiot spiked the Kool-Aid. Before I knew it, I was 3/4 up a pine tree, naked as a jay bird, trying to get away from all the giant bugs, there.

Mike

Well, there you have it. Okay, so I tell the press that you were in a mental hospital...because you were taking acid.

Coincidentally, that was the same night I decided to run for Mayor.

(reading cue cards) Good afternoon, all. I want to start out with a personal outrage that has been going on too long. Public access... (switches cards) ...pornography.

Mike

(to James) You want to work on where you break those cards.

(reading cue cards) I just want to make sure that material with graphic sexual content is available and seen... (switches cards) ...only by those people who specifically want to see it.

Mike

(to James) Ok, you did that one on purpose.

I'm going to stand here and read this story to the city, because I want all the children out there to believe in the magic of (reading speech) Satan.

Mike

That's Santa. It's a typo.

James

You wait until there's something important to you and i eat it.

Do you want to go to lockup in jail with the key, little boy?

[sobs] Uh, yes?

[To Justin] Okay, kid, taken away, policeman. [cop arrest Little Boy and taken away]

Mike

The Mayor is a man of great vision

(Walks out of sauna with steamed up glasses) I can't see

Carter

(about a giant statue giving the finger) Mike, its huge! Where can we put it?

How about my ex-wife's lawn?

(in a Santa suit) Well, young man, what do you want for Christmas?

Mike

Uh, my dignity back.