Who here is gay?
(Mike turns to Karen, who is smiling and giggling.)
Not that kind of gay.
All S1
Characters
Mike FlahertyMichael J. Fox · 58 quotes
Stuart BondeckAlan Ruck · 32 quotes
Carter HeywoodMichael Boatman · 21 quotes
Paul LassiterRichard Kind · 17 quotes
MMayor16 quotes
Nikki FaberConnie Britton · 15 quotes
James HobertAlexander Chaplin · 10 quotes
Janelle CooperVictoria Dillard · 8 quotes
Charlie CrawfordCharlie Sheen · 5 quotes
MWMayor Winston4 quotes
Stacey PaternoJennifer Esposito · 4 quotes
Caitlin MooreHeather Locklear · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Mike Flaherty & Stuart Bondeck (9), Stuart Bondeck & Carter Heywood (8), Mike Flaherty & Paul Lassiter (7)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(on phone): I didn't mean to scare you, it was just a simple run of the mill orgasm... (Mike walks up) ...Can you hold on a second, Mom?
Oh, I'll let you get back to your mom, before she loses her erection.
RReporter
Mr. Mayor, would you consider marching in the gay pride parade this week?
What are you, drunk?
(about Mayor Garfield's passing) We need to get working on your statement.
I killed him. I killed him dead.
That's a good starting point. How about softening it up a little?
It's not jealousy; I just wish I had what he had.
They had a candle light vigil at the fountain last night. Hundreds showed up.
Of course only five people could fit around it at one time. They had to vigil in shifts.
Even if I were prejudiced against gays, I'd want 'em to get married. Give them a taste of the nightmare the rest of us live through every day.
Believe it or not, I came out at Thanksgiving.
How'd you pull that off?
Very subtle. "Dad, great job carving the turkey. I'm a homosexual."
Well, every year, I go to my sister's house, hug her three beautiful children, then my family gathers round, ties me to a chair, and pummels me with questions about why I'm not married yet.
Me, my mom, my dad, three Hungry Man dinners, and a big box of wine. The first "I hate you" comes out around 9:30.
You see grasshopper, one must understand the rhythms of the game-. WAAAAHH!! -In order to truly master ebb and flow, ying and yang. Are you prepared to do battle?
No, I want you to talk some more.
I'm not a club kinda guy. If I wanna shout, I'll go visit my grandmother.
It's not like I'm sleeping with every man in town. You are straight. Do you sleep with every woman you meet?
YES!
Who's looking out for the white middle-class, heterosexual male?
Congress.
C'mon trade with me, my nuns for your lesbians.
They're not baseball cards, Paul.
What do lesbians know about me? This could be a fabulous opportunity!
To remind them why they're lesbians?
Are you telling me that your pregnant?
CCarrie
No, but I will be thanks to you.
Wait a second, am I missing a step here, cause if you're talking about last night, I took precautions, we took precautions!
CCarrie
Let't just say I'm the kinda girl who never throws anything away...I put it in the freezer.
You froze my guys?!
CCarrie
I'm just here to get your blessing.
What am I, the pope?!
CCarrie
Don't yell at me!
Those are my guys, I want them back!
CCarrie
Look, if you're gonna be all weird about this, I'm just gonna leave!
You can't do this! (opens office door) GIMME BACK MY SPERM!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Spin City pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.