Paul Lassiter quotes from Spin City

Paul

As a show of good faith, you have to release 1, maybe 2 million of the hostages.

Paul

When I bite into a York peppermint patty...I get shot.

Paul

So to sum up ladies and gentlemen...I don't know.

Paul

(Looking at James' cards) Did I ever tell you guys about my friend Pete? He's got two houses in Queens.

Paul

Correction, he's got THREE houses in Queens, an ace of a guy....and a seven

Paul

C'mon trade with me, my nuns for your lesbians.

Carter

They're not baseball cards, Paul.

Paul

What do lesbians know about me? This could be a fabulous opportunity!

Stuart

To remind them why they're lesbians?

Paul

If you'd given me any more time I could've recovered.

Mike

Paul, if I'd have given you any more time up there, you would have declared the Mayor dead.

Mike

Well, it's not all bad news.

Paul

How could you say that?

Mike

Well, for starters, it's not all my fault anymore.

Now Paul, your vows are to 'love Claudia, and to lose five pounds'?

Paul

Well, I wanted to combine my vows and New Year's resolutions.

Paul

(on Mike taking over) Are you sure this is legal?

Mike

What, are you wearing a wire?

Mike

Paul, ever since you got married, you have been nothing but excuses

Paul

Well that's not true!

Mike

Paul, you've been married five months, you've celebrated your anniversary seven times!

Paul

Mike, Claudia needs me.

Mike

I need you!

Paul

Claudia depends on me.

Mike

I depend on you!

Paul

Claudia gives me sweet lovin'.

Mike

......I depend on you!

Carter

I don't get this rock-papers-scissor. Why does paper beat rock?

Paul

It just does!

Carter

Why don't you grab a piece of paper, I get a rock, we'll meet at the playground and then let's see what beats what!

Mike

So - has anybody felt harassed by Stuart?

Paul

Stuart has been publishing naked pictures of me to the internet!

Mike

That's not harassing you, Paul, that's harassing the internet.

Paul

Guess what I am doing tonight. A: Going to the gym. B: Being a contestant on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?".

Mike

Well, we know it's not the gym.