Randy, Sheila and others in “The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers”

And so, that's the situation. All the boys are out there somewhere with a... pornographic videotape.

Sheila

Oh, God! This-this is horrible!

All right, calm down! Now, just how bad of a porno tape are we talking here? I mean, was it like... Crotch Capers 3?

I'm afraid it was... Backdoor Sluts 9.

BACKDOOR SLUTS 9!?!

It's that bad?

Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!

I-It is the single most vile, twisted... dark piece of porn ever made.

Sheila

[lightly slaps Gerald] How the hell do you know?!

I...uh... I-I-I read about it in People.

Sheila

[to Randy and Sharon] Oh, this is just great! How could you two be so careless?!

We're sorry!

Well, Sheila, we can't shelter our boys forever from these things. Maybe it's okay for them to see an adult film.

Sheila

Not without their parents to put it in a proper context! They won't understand what they're seeing!

I-It can't hurt 'em that much, can it?

Butters

[grasping the window outside] Precious!! Let me see my precious! Please!!