You guys, I got it! Seriously, it's the greatest picture ever! Oh my God!
Whatcha do to Butters this time?
It was genius! I waited 'til he was totally asleep, right? And then I got my camera, and I pulled down his pants, and then I took a picture of his wiener in my mouth! [cracks up]
I know, I know. Check it out. Look. [the other three crowd in and look at the picture] I got his whole wiener in my mouth, see? Ha ha. Oh man, I got him good!
Dude, how is putting Butters's wiener in his mouth getting him?
Because that makes Butters gay now!
No, dude, that makes you gay!
You put a guy's wiener in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!
[looks more closely at the picture] Uh-uh.
Kenny, that doesn't make me gay, huh?
Ha ha, that makes you totally fucking gay.
But I'm not--I'm not gay, you guys!
No--no, it was a stupid mistake!
Doesn't matter. You're gay now.
No, it was just for a second! [puts the picture away] What-what can I do? How-how can I reverse this?
No--no wait. I-I know how you can reverse it, Cartman.
The only way you can cancel it out is to get Butters to put your wiener in his mouth.
Yeah. Then it cancels out the gay polarity.
[long silence]
Shoot, I gotta find Butters! [runs off]
[Butters is playing with his toys]
[singing] Loo loo loo, I've got some apples, loo loo loo, you've got some too. Loo loo loo...
[Cartman enters the room]
Butters, guess what? I have a surprise for you.
It's so buckskin awesome. You're gonna be so stoked. It's the best surprise ever!
Okay! Just open your mouth and close your eyes and--and get on your knees!
[Butters closes his eyes, opens his mouth, and gets on his knees]
[Cartman grabs a bandanna from his back pocket and makes a blindfold from it, then puts it on Butters]
Hang on a second here. [makes sure the blindfold is on snugly]
How come, uh, I can't see?
'Cause then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it? [rushes off to get the toy box]
[under his breath] All right, that's good. [undoes his pants] Okay, open your mouth, Butters. [lowers them] That's good, just like that.
[warily] Hey. Hey wait a minute. This ain't a trick, is it? You're not gonna, eh, stick something yucky in my mouth, are ya?
[Pause]
I swear on my mother's life, Butters, I am not going to stick anything yucky in your mouth. [lifts up his shirt to show his massive gut]
All right, you ready? [grabs Butters's head and draws it closer to his penis] All right just--okay, open, uh, okay, okay, here it comes. Just sit very still, okay? Here we go.
[the door opens and Butters's dad enters]
[Cartman steps down from the toy box and runs away]
SSSteven Stotch
Butters! What are you doing?!
I'm getting a surprise! [points to his mouth]
SSSteven Stotch
Oh my God! My, my only son, reduced to this! [takes the blindfold off of Butters]
[looks around] Hey. Where did Eric go?
SSSteven Stotch
[quite concerned, on ended knee] Butters, how long have you been doing stuff like this?
SSSteven Stotch
Don't lie to me, Butters! I know your secret now! No, wait, wait. It's okay. It's okay, Butters. This isn't a serious problem. You're just bi-curious.
SSSteven Stotch
You are. Just harmless curiosity, and it doesn't mean anything. We just need to get you some help, Butters.
[Butters' mom appears at the doorway]
What's going on, you two?
Nothing, Mom, I'm just a little bi-curious. [smiles]
[Cartman is trying to retrieve the picture of Butters's penis in Cartman's mouth, but it's nowhere to be found. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are playing basketball at the community park]
Aw, man, I've got H.O.R.S. now. [steps aside as Kenny receives the ball]
Okay, my turn. [Kenny gives him the ball and Kyle prepares to shoot. Cartman approaches the park behind him]
Where is it, you filthy Jew?!
[throws up the ball] Where's what?
[grabs Kyle by the collar and shakes him violently] You know goddamn well what!
What the hell are you doing, Cartman?
I went home to alter the picture of me with Butters' penis in my mouth to look like Kyle, but it was gone! [shakes Kyle again] What did you do with my picture?!
Knock it off! I don't have your stupid picture!
[rolls up his sleeves] Give it back, Kyle!
[stretches his arms left and right, then up and down] I swear to God, Kyle, if you don't give it back right now, [puts up his fists as if to box] I'm gonna break your fucking Jew legs right here.
You shut up! You're lying, [points an accusing finger at Stan and Kenny] and you two are covering up for him! You know what? You're just like Jews yourselves! [points to Stan] Stan, you're a Jew, [points to Kenny] and Kenny, you're a Jew! You're all Jews!
[Kyle punches him on the right arm once, firmly]
Ow! [puts his left hand over his right arm] Ow! Aaargh! [grimaces, turns around, and runs out of the park, screaming]
[Butters and Bradley, his roommate at church camp, are writing verses after Bradley got them in trouble]
BBradley
Butters, I'm sorry for getting you into trouble.
Aw, that's okay, Bradley.
BBradley
I really want to get better. I do everything the counselors say, but somehow I still feel confused.
Yeah, well, hopefully when we finish these verses, we won't be bi-curious no more and then we can go home!
BBradley
You're really terrific, Butters. I mean, I think you're great. [smiles, then pauses, horrified] Uh oh! OH, GOD! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts! [jumps out of the chair, panicked]
BBradley
I-I think I...I think I like you.
Well, I like you too, Bradley!
BBradley
YOU DO?! You like-like me?!
Sure, Bradley! I like-like you a lot-lot! Hahaha!
BBradley
Oh, God! We're both unfix-able!
