[runs to and startles Charlie] Charlie! [Charlie almost drops the artifact] (Sorry.) Remember me? The guy that turned those apple baskets into stilts at your old job? Man, that was fun, but it turns out it wasn't fun! It was counter productive. So I'm here to make it up to you.
Oh. Wow. I totally forgot about that. Don't worry about it, my life is great now. I've got a wife, a nice house, this wonderful job, (and) digging up ancient artifacts.
Doesn't matter, I gotta make this right.
Honestly, you really don't have to.
Can it! I'm trying to be nice to you. We'll start with your lunch order.
[gets a sandwich out of his pocket] But I brought my lunch.
[grabs the sandwich] Not good enough. [throws it into a nearby lake] I'm gonna get you something special! [runs off, one of the baskets falls off and hits Charlie on the head who let go of the artifact which breaks]
[arrives as Charlie tries to fix the artifact] Soups on! [grabs everything on the table and throws it off, the artifact breaks again] I got braised short-rib on focaccia toast with a dollop of garlic chaiaboly and just a hint of lime.
Actually, that sounds pretty good.
I thought so too. That's why I ate it on the way here, but don't worry. Look what I found. [holds up Charlie's wet sandwich] Can you believe some dope just tossed this in the lake?
(Um... Thanks? Anyways...) I really should get back to work. [turns around and starts collecting the things from the floor]
Oh, let me get those for you, because I'm helpful and not counter productive.
No, really. It's o– (Wait… W-what, "counter productive"?)
Charlie, come on! It's me! [throws the sandwich away, takes a pickax and a shovel falls on Charlie's foot]
Ah, ouch! [jumps around and steps on the sandwich which makes him fall down] (I'm alright, I'm okay.)
The working conditions here are dangerous! I'm gonna go talk to your union rep.
[he and Knuckles walking through the rain] How am I going to break this news to my wife?
Ah, don't worry about that. I already called her!
You did what?! [runs to his house, a suitcase is thrown near his feet]
When are you going to stand up for yourself? [throws a bundle to the suitcase, walks inside the house and closes the door]
[screaming] You did this, you ruined my life! (So you're the problem!)
(Oh, boy…) No worries, Charlie. I’m gonna make it up to you... as soon as I finished making up for that other thing I did, whatever that was.
You’re a menace. I’m not gonna let people like you cause problems for me anymore! [laughs maliciously and runs off to the construction sight works on something] You’ll see. They’ll all see. [laughs]
Let’s see that lunch money.
Charlie, as things aren’t going well between you and I, I have decided to enlist the help of a local police officer to act as a go-between. I think his experience in dealing with tense situations will proof valuable to both of us. [Charlie reaches out his hand, the frightened the Beaver Policeman drops his money in it and leaves. Charlie reaches out once more and Knuckles drops his money too. Charlie is sitting in his armor, Knuckles sneaks up to him] Charlie is not letting up, but I can’t go back to being counter productive, so I’ll take the high road and stay out of his way until he cools off. [Charlie notices him, takes a huge ice cream and smashes it onto Knuckles] I figured it out! All Charlie really wants is a friend. Yeah, he is practically crying out to me for help! [reaches to Charlie] Hello, pal! I baked you this pie! Perhaps we can see a movie together and/or enjoy a frosted beverage.
[grabs the pie and smashed it into Knuckles’ face, then grabs him and throws him into a dustbin] See the wrath of my super villain powers! [Knuckles falls screaming and stops in front of Sonic, Tails and Amy]
Great news, Knuckles! I think Charlie just let you off the hook.
Knuckles': Really? Because from my perspective, it didn’t go so well.
No, what Tails means is that Charlie just called himself a super villain.
[looks into Counter Productive] Page 235 of Counter Productive - "If the person you’re trying to make up to turns into a super villain, you can forget all that stuff I said about fixing your past mistakes. In that case, knock yourself out."
I know what I have to do now!
Let’s go, Charlie! [claps his hands, no one joins in] Really, nothing? Am I the only one on the side of evil here?
[Charlie attacks Knuckles with the ray, Knuckles can hit him and Charlie falls on the stairs, the civilians are cheering. Charlie gets up and attacks again, he can hit Knuckles]
Alright, Charlie! Crush him!
Let’s finish this, Knuckles! [Knuckles looks around and sees a dustbin. As Charlie attacks again, he takes the cap of the bin and reflects the ray, which freezes his robot arm] What the…? [Knuckles destroys the arm, Charlies armor falls down. He throws some dust at Knuckles, Eggman and Belinda cheer. Charlie attacks Knuckles again with the ray, but he can reach the armor and demolish it. The Civilians are cheering]
Truce? (And... no hard feelings?)
[walks to Knuckles] Truce. (And not all.)
Aw, come on! It was just starting to get good!
Great job, Knuckles! You stood up for yourself and stopped a super villain.
Thanks, guys. Who’s up for some burgers? My treat! [runs to Charlie] Give me all your lunch money! [laughs] Ah, just kidding! [Team Sonic walks off laughing]
Great job, Charlie! You stood up for yourself and got a new job... as a super villain.
But what about the truce? [Belinda shows him her crossed fingers]
You never know what's going to happen on the battlefield. Which is why it's important to think on your feet. This is a little game I used to play with my old improv troupe, The Gigglesnorts. It's called "Zip Zap Zop". We pass around an imaginary ball, saying "zip", "zap", or "zop" as we go. I'll start. [passes the "ball" to T.W. Barker] Zip!
TWT.W. Barker
[catches the "ball," and passes it to Shadow] Zap! [Shadow just stands there, doing nothing.]
Eh… that's to you, Shadow. You wanna zap that one over to Dave, or maybe zap that bad boy back to me? Heh… no?
He pfted it! We'll count that. Great job, Shadow!
Silence, fool! [The other villains gasp.] I suffered your presence long enough. [turns to leave]
N-no! Don't go! We're not done bonding yet! We were gonna roast wieners and play flashlight tag. We're making history here! A collection of villains like this has never been assembled before!
[turns around] I see no villains, just some fools whose only ability is wasting time!
That's something, isn't it?
No, not really. (I determent my own destiny.) [disappears; Eggman sighs]
(At Hedgehog Village, Sonic wakes up from rubble caused by a damaged wall.)
Ugh.... What happened? I haven't felt this horrible ever since I've seen Comedy Chimp's swimsuit calendar. (shudders) November.
(Sonic gets up, seeing himself wearing a vest.)
And why do I look like a discount-bin action figure?
(At Tails's workshop...)
Okay, guys. I'll be the first to admit that my speed-boost experiments were a tad inconclusive.
Does "inconclusive" mean the same as "hilarious"?
Well, you know what they say: no pain, no gain.
(sarcastically) I'm sorry this was painful for you, Tails.
It's okay. Besides, without your broken ribs, I never would've invented this, (reveals a vest and control panel) my Ultra-Sonic Speed Amplifier!
[beat]
(The gang gives Tails a lukewarm applause.)
Spare me your halfhearted applause. Once you see what this baby can do, your applause will be at least three-quarter-hearted!
(Tails puts the vest on Sonic)
So, if I wear this thing for six weeks, will my ribs heal properly?
No. This control panel will deliver amplification signals into your chest plate, allowing you to reach unparalleled speeds, all using state-of-the-art blast-processing technology!
"Blast-processing technology"? Those are just phony-baloney buzzwords to fool the simple-minded!
Blast-processing technology?? Oh, gimme, gimme, gimme!
Seriously!? After all you put me through this morning...absolutely!!
(Tails activates the panel, sending Sonic dashing off, faster than usual.)
(via com unit) How are you feeling, Sonic?
Like a hummingbird on his third espresso! Tails, you're a genius! How about a little more juice?
(Back at the workshop, Tails takes a sip from a juice box.)
And I'll up the levels, too.
(Tails increases the power level, increasing Sonic's speed.)
(Tails increases the levels again, making Sonic fast enough to even jump over the crater!)
Uh, I don't think we should--
(With Sonic's speed increased even further, he runs back to the lab. He dashes around Knuckles, tapping his shoulder to fool him.)
It wasn't me. It was him!
(Sonic dashes again, this time generating an illusory clone waving casually.)
He's going so fast, he's appearing in two places at once!
But we could always go faster! Tails, crank it!!!
(Sonic begins running out of the lab and toward the village.)
I really think we should do more tests before we push the--
Think, Sonic -- how did this happen...? Must've been Eggman.
Sonic: Did you miss me? (Destroys a Badnik)
Well, this whole plan kinda hinged on your absence, so, no, not really.
