[Tails is working on a device. Sonic runs in.]
SonicTails, I need jumper cables. [Tails reaches into his toolbox without looking and grabs a pair of jumper cables, which he holds up. Sonic grabs them and runs off. Tails goes back to work. Sonic runs back.] You got any duct tape? [Tails once again reaches into his toolbox, and holds up a roll of duct tape. Sonic grabs it and runs off, but comes right back again.] How about a battery?
Antimatter or self-generating?
Sonic
I don't know. Something with a lot of juice.
Tails': Antimatter's on the top shelf, behind the video games.
Sonic
Thanks. [runs over, grabs 2 batteries, then runs off again]
[Tails stops short, seeing the Tailsmobile wedged between some rocks, the fan pointing upwards. Knuckles is sitting on top, in a bucket that's duct-taped to the fan, while Sonic is next to a battery, holding the jumper cables.]
Sonic
Ha! Initiate "Spinning Blades of Death"!
"Spinning Blades of Death"? I guess that sounds safe.
[Sonic connects the jumper cables to the battery. The fan begins to spin, spinning Knuckles with it.]
Sonic
Activating Hyper Mode. [flips a switch on the side of the battery. The fan starts spinning even faster]
Sonic
[hears his Communicator beep] Oh. [activates it] Sonic here.
Sonic, did you return the book I lent you to the library?
Sonic
Um... not... yet?
[Knuckles goes flying off the fan in the background]
It's due today! If you don't return it on time, I'll have to pay late fees, Sonic!
Sonic
Listen, Mike, I was wrong to say you're "just a guy".
Sonic
And... I'll never do it again?
Sonic
And... if you want, you're welcome to come with us to the next battle with Eggman.
MMike
Apology accepted. Can we go now?
Sonic
No, we have to wait for Eggman to launch an attack.
MMike
(finishes off his drink) How about now?
Sonic
No, you see–
MMike
So, now? Let's go now!
Sonic
(takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes, muttering to himself) Just go to your happy place, just go to your happy place. (View of Sonic's happy place-- out on the beach, calm music playing) Wow...
(Mike inadvertently steps in)
MMike
What's this, your happy place or something? When are we going to the battle? Now? (Sonic groans, shuts his eyes, and takes a deep breath, going to his happier place-- a white void. He lets out a sigh of relief just as Mike steps in again) What's this, your happier place? Cool. So can we go to the battle now? (Sonic grumbles as a beeping interrupts him. He snaps out of his happier place, then his happy place, and opens his eyes back to reality, then to the real world, as a live-action person in a Sonic costume about to put a trash bag in a trash can.)
RWReal-world Sonic
Oops, one too many!
Sonic
[catches a chili dog with a body dive before it hits the sand] Oh, got it! That was almost the worst disaster imaginable. [eats the chili dog] Mmm…
[Team Sonic is having a baroque outside Sonic's Shack. Tails and Amy sit at the table while Sticks works the grill. Suddenly, Mirror Knuckles appears out of thin air]
Yargh! Kill it with fire!
Calm down, it's just Knuckles.
Oh. [shouting] Kill Knuckles with fire!
Sonic
Cool entrance, Knux.
You were supposed to get hamburger buns.
In mid-battle? Sweet Amy, there will be time for your delicious burgers after we've defeated that dastardly deviant Eggman.
Sonic
Nice vocab.
And impressive alliteration. You've been taking night classes?
Hey guys! [walks in, carrying a tray full of burger buns and looks at his Mirror doppelganger; they stare at each other] Who's the beefcake?
They really look alike. We need to figure out how to tell them apart.
I know. Our Knuckles can wear something to distinguish himself, but which one's our Knuckles?
Well, that depends. What does distinguish mean? [Amy runs off and returns with a blue party hat.] No way! I'm not wearing that!
I'd be honored to wear your ridiculous hat my dear. [puts the hat on]
Sonic
He may look like Knuckles, but he sure doesn't talk like him.
Hey! I talked gooder than you.
[thinking] There's a perfectly rational explanation for this. [Everyone looks and listens to Tails, but after a long wait, he shrugs.] I just haven't figured it out yet. [Everyone groans at Tails.]
Worry not, young Tails. Be diligent. In time, the answer will seek you.
Whoa. I sound like a fortune cookie! [tries to eat his right arm] Yeah, but I don't taste like one.
There's only one person smart enough to unravel this enigma.
Welcome to Meh Burger. Can I take your order?
Dave! I'm glad I found you, friend. We need your brilliant mind.
I'm sorry. We're all out of that. May I recommend the Meh Rib Sandwich? They're only available for a limited time.
[clenches his fist] What's going on here?! Everyone seems to be the opposite of their normal selves.
Hmm... I think I understand what's happening. They say it's available for a limited time to create a false demand.
Also, I just figured out that this guy is from another dimension!
Sonic
Another dimension? You mean with duplicates of each of us?
[nervous] What if another of me shows up? I can't trust me. I'm a loose cannon! [screams and runs away]
Imagine the look on Sonic's face when he sees I have Knuckles trapped. [hears the wall being barged open]
Sonic
You don't have to imagine, Egghead. Cuz here I am!
That was a bit of a letdown. I was expecting a bigger reaction, maybe shocked, outraged, perhaps even a little ennui. Anywho, Motobugs, attack!
[A group of Motobugs charge at Team Sonic. Sonic spin attacks a Motobug. Mirror Knuckles watches the debris fly across the room and into the hole in the wall.]
Look who broke down the wall. The non-aggressors.
Sonic
[punches another Motobug] Dude, this is more of a rescue than an attack!
Excuses are easy to manufacture, but hard to sell.
Why is Knuckles talking like a fortune cookie?
That's (because it's) not Knuckles, it's his double from another dimension.
Oh. That explains the hat, so you can tell them apart. Great idea.
Thank [hammers a Motobug] you.
Wait a minute. There are multiple Knuckles in this dimension? That could cause some kind of catastrophic anomaly. I do not want a dimensional explosion in my lab. I just had the floors waxed. [releases Mirror Knuckles from the trapping cage and Mirror Knuckles flickers] Well, what are you waiting for? Get him out of here! (And why is his counterpart here anyway?)
Sonic
Well, actually, the reason Alternate Dimension Knuckles is here is because Alternate Dimension Eggman (which is your dimensional counterpart) shot him with lasers from Alternate Dimension Octopusbot.
That is so Alternate Dimension me!
Sonic
Is there any chance we can borrow your laser to send this guy back where he came from and prevent the destruction of pretty much everything?
[chuckling] Sure! You should have just asked me in the first place! Oh, but I'll need it back by Thursday.
What happens on Thursday?
I'm gonna attack your– Uh, um, I'm having a party. [Sticks makes "I'm watching you" gesture at him]
[Knuckles' flashback]
Sonic
Hi. I'm Sonic the Hedgehog.
Never heard of you. [notices Knuckles walking up to them still in his blue naval cap. The wind blows through his dreadlocks] ...But who's your friend? [walks over to Knuckles pushing Sonic aside]
I'm just a humble echidna… which is why I won't brag about my boyish charm, unimaginable strength, and ability to think real good. You know, smartnesswise.
Sonic
[struggles to pick up Perci's broken bicycle, just before Knuckles picks it up over his head using only one arm] Wha...?!
Wow. Muscles and brain smartness.
I know. [Sonic falls] Medic! Splint up this pretty lady's arm!
I hope I can live up to your expectations, Captain Knuckles. [puts the splint on her leg instead of her arm]
Oh ho, Amy. You forgotten what an arm is. This is an arm. [flexes his left arm]
Wow. You are the whole package.
And here's the gift-wrapping. [starts flexing his arms. Amy sighs dreamily]
[Sonic flexes his arms too and ends up leaning on Perci's broken bicycle, causing it to fall in the mud, splashing Amy and Perci. Sonic gasps.]
Sonic, You clumsy oaf! Perpetual second banana! Look what you've done! [to Perci] Come, my lady! We must go to Casa Del Tails to repair your bicicleta before Sonic does any further damage. [takes Perci's arm leaving Amy angry and the 4 head over to Tails' workshop with Sonic behind them]
Sonic
[whiny voice] Come on, guys! Wait for meeeeeee!
[The keep walking just before Sticks pops up.]
Hey, be careful of that alien! She'll abduct our livestock, phone home from our houses, and turn us all into pie people! She's... a goodful! A goodful! [runs off screaming]
[to Perci] Don't pay attention to her. She's actually very nice. [Sonic fixes the bike with a wielding laser and suddenly burns his finger at Tails' Workshop (flashback). He screams in pain and starts blowing on it.] Sonic, can't you do anything right? [to Perci] Your scarf will look brand new, but it'll never look as lovely as its owner.
[Perci blushes. Knuckles puts the scarf in the kiln. Meanwhile, Amy struggles with a heating pad.]
How does this heating pad work? Mmm. [throws the heating pad on a pile of newspapers]
A pillow for my maiden fan?
Hey, I'm the medic! I'll give her the pillow!
Sonic
I want to give her the pillow, so I could be more like my hero - Knuckles. [he and Amy fight over the pillow when suddenly a fire starts]
[Sonic jumps in Amy's arms scared. Knuckes uses his ice breath to put the fire out. Perci leans against his arm,]
[Amy's flashback]
[Southern Belle accent] I've seem to have fallen from my bicycle and injured my little old arm. If only there was some heroic gentleman who would rescue poor little me.
Sonic
[he and Knuckles stare at Perci all lovey-dovey and chuckling] You're pretty.
[Southern accent] Would one of you handsome young men kindly retrieve my bicycle?
[Sonic and Knuckles giddily run over to do so. Amy crosses her arms, unimpressed. Sonic and Knuckles are fighting over the pieces of the bicycle, when they suddenly fall over. The pieces of the bicycle fall into the mud, splashing it over Perci's scarf.]
[voiceover] Even with my friends under the spell of a wicked siren, I selflessly administered medical care to the foul temptress. [to Perci] Oh, you poor sweet thing! Allow me to tend to your wounds. [binds Perci's arm in a sling, which sparkles] Now, let's see to your bicycle. I know where to get it fixed!
[The four of them walk towards Tails' workshop, with Knuckles carrying the bicycle pieces. Sticks suddenly runs up]
Watch out for that government agent! It starts with jury duty, and zoning ordinances, and before you know it, boom! Our tax dollars are benefiting others, and not us!
Don't pay attention to her. She's actually very nice. [Sticks runs away screaming]
[at Tails' Workshop (flashback)]
[holding Perci's scarf] Sweetie, you rest here. I'll get a heating pad to make you more comfortable. Knuckles, will you please clean this scarf? [Knuckles reaches in and grabs the scarf] And Sonic… [Sonic stands to attention] …maybe it'd be best to just wait for Tails.
Sonic
No way! I can totally fix this! [darts over to Perci] Watch this, babe. [runs back over to the bike, and picks up a welding mask and laser. He puts on the mask, but drops the laser] Ahh...
[Southern accent] My poor little arm is achin' so. If only I had a cushion on which to rest it.
[Knuckles, who is washing Perci's scarf in the background, runs to get a pillow. Sonic looks up from his welding, seeing this, and drops the still-active laser and runs over and fights with Knuckles over the pillow.]
Sonic
Let me give it to her!
She wants me to give it to her!
[Smoke rises, followed by flames. Sonic and Knuckles see this, drop the pillow, and panic. Amy grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire.]
[Perci's flashback]
[voiceover] I had a minor accident with my bicycle, when… [Sonic sees Perci and runs over]
Sonic
Hi, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. Hero extraordinaire.
You don't happen to have a wrench or some tools I can use to fix my bike?
No, but maybe I can interest you in some "gift-wrapping"?
Sonic
Don't worry. I can fix your bike. [runs to it]
You're just loving this, aren't you? Having men fight over you? A modern woman can take care of herself.
I can take care of myself, but like I said, "I don't have any tools" and I hurt my arm.
I suppose you need me to bandage that up for you.
Nah, just a bruise. [Amy growls, but wraps Perci's arm in a sling. Sonic and Knuckles are fighting over the pieces of the bike, when they suddenly fall. The bike pieces drop into the mud, splashing it over Perci.] Look, I need to get moving. Do you know where I can find some tools? [As the group walks towards Tails' Workshop, Sticks runs up with a yell.] Nice to meet you. [Sticks runs away screaming. Sonic, Knuckles and Amy hold each other in the background, shaking.] She seems nice.
[At Tails Workshop (flashback), Perci is about to use the welding laser to fix her bike, but Sonic cuts in.]
Sonic
Allow me. You just sit back and relax, while Sonic saves the day.
Okay, I'll just wash my scarf.
[grabs Perci's scarf] Please, the honor is all mine. [starts washing it]
Well then, I'll just rest my arm.
All right, all right. I'll get you a heating pad. Talk about a drama queen.
[puts Perci's scarf in the kiln] Would you like a pillow?
Sonic
[looks up from his welding] No, I'll give Perci a pillow! [runs over, dropping the welding laser, which ignites]
Oh, now the princess wants a pillow. [tosses the heating pad onto a pile of newspapers]
[Sticks, Knuckles, Tails and Amy sitting whilst Sonic is running around a table.]
We're approaching hour 23 of Sonic and Knuckles' stay awake challenge and it's still anybody's game. Sticks, what do you make of their strategy so far?
It appears Sonic is jogging in circles to stay awake while Knuckles keeps his focus by watching late night TV. Both strong approaches, but personally, I find the grim knowledge that our freedom is slowly eroding enough to keep me awake at night.
Sonic
Give it up, Knuckles. I can keep moving all night. The second you find something boring on TV, you're going to be out like a light.
Don't be silly, Sonic, TV is never boring. [changes channels]
CCComedy Chimp
So, Soar. Tell us more about your dried, dense and complicated new book about introspection and selfbetterment.
My new book, counter productive, is about fixing your old mistakes, times when you made a mess of things. [Knuckles watches him interested] When you were a bad apple, active like a basket case.
[starts to have a flashback at a market where Charlie works] Hey, Charlie. Can I borrow your basket? It's really important! [grabs and puts the baskets on his feet] Haha, neat! I'm all tall and stuff!
[Back at Tails' House]
[waving her hand in front of Knuckles] His eyes are open, but his brain is definitly asleep. Sonic wins!
[wakes up] Gah! Am I... counter productive?
Sonic
Nope, just someone who can't stay awake for 23-hour straight.
If you don't go back to the people you've wronged and make up for your misdeeds, then you're basically a monster and that's science.
[ Screaming ] Don't look at me! I'm a monster, a monster!
Sonic
[sighs] Hope this turns out better than when he thought he was a ballerina.
[Flashback at Sonic's Shack]
Don't look at me! I'm a ballerina, a ballerina! [Starts dancing]
Sonic
Knuckles, this is going on long enough. You gotta stand up to him.
No, this is my own fault. I got him fired, remember? And like Soar the Eagle probably says in that book I didn’t read, I can’t rest until I’ve made it up to him.
Can you at least stop letting him taking your lunch money?
Fine, Amy. I’ll try to avoid letting Charlie take my lunch money... for you.
Sonic Boom · 106 quotes
