Chris Miles quotes from Skins

Chris Miles

Jesus, Sid, are you going to tell me what's going on? It's like a fucking episode of The O.C. in here!

Chris

Money, it’s just bits of paper or numbers on a screen isn’t it really. But these walls they exist. If you can imagine memories happening in them than that’s real isn’t it? I just, I want you to imagine dying. Alright I know that sounds weird but just, you’re really old and you’re in your bed and you’re remembering your life. Your daughter’s first birthday. Shagging on a Sunday afternoon. Skinning up in the garden. With the kids. Alright when you do that, is this the house that you see in all those memories? Cause if it is than a few bits of paper here or there don’t really seem to matter.

Tony

I say this world extends way beyond this little field of dreams we're dancing in, and I wanna see that world.

Chris

What the fuck's he on about?

He's quoting, Chris. It's a literary reference.

Chris

What do you mean, like Shakespeare and shit?

Dawson's Creek.

Maxxie

Where are you going?

Chris

To find that party.

Maxxie

Nah!

Chris

Look, it's posh kids! All the boys are gay!

Maxxie

Yea?

Anwar

Are the girls gay, too?

Chris

Look... everyone's gay!

Angie

[walking toward Tony while topless] Tony, this is a room for female staff...!

Tony

[staring at Angie's naked breasts] Yeah, the dryer's broken in ours. [Angie puts her hands on her hips disapprovingly, but doesn't cover her chest, letting Tony look]

Sid

[walking in] Oh, there you are. Jesus, we're in trouble. That crazy fucking dealer found us Tony—hi, Angie [Angie quickly uses her hands to cover her breasts]—I mean, we gotta do something, you could talk to him... [noticing that Angie's naked, staring down at her see-through thong] oh, fuck!

Chris

[walking in] Aw, you wankers, that was well funny, man! I bet someone's going to have to apologise because Kenneth's crying now so he... [realises Angie is staring at him] Oh, Jesus Christ, that's Angie, Mary mother of God, that's Angie! Don't look, get out!

Angie

For fuck's sake, fuck off! [after the boys leave she lets her breasts go and watches them bounce] Ah, I still got it.

Chris

[attempting to return a stereo] Look, man, I bought it yesterday, and I remember you! Very good... face for memorising. So yeah, I bought it from you and you were chuffed to sell it.

There's a pop tart in the CD drawer.

Listen, take a while, calm down, maybe take a day or two and then we'll talk about it, alright?

Chris

It's my fucking house!

I don't make the rules, man, I don't make the rules.

[buying Chris' wheelbarrow] How do you want it? Powder, pills or cash?

Chris

Cash.

[counting out money] 10, 15, 20, job done.

Chris

Fuck it, let's have a look at these pills, then.

Chris

Everything you could ever want from an evening. Songs, choir girls, colourful costumes, fellatio... rabbits.

Maxxie

Rabbits?

Chris

Don't ask.

Angie

I don't have sex with my 17 year-old students!

Chris Miles

How old are they normally?

Chris

Four months without sex that ain't funny. But you probably wouldn't understand that, Jal.

Huh?

Chris

Well you don't have sex at all, do you? You have clarinet lessons.

Sid

[getting up] Anyways, we should get the tents up. [helps Michelle up] Gimme a hand getting them off the...

Sid

...Roof?

Chris

Look, it's not my fault!

I told you to tie the tents to the roof!

Chris

No, no, no, you said to put the stuff on the roof! Nobody said anything about tying!

Maxxie

You meader, Chris!

Sid

[As Anwar pushes Chris] What did you think was holding them up there, you muppet?!

Michelle

Where the fuck are we gonna sleep!?

Chris

I'm sorry! [pause] Fuck it, I'm inadequate. What can you do?

This! [reaches out and crushes his testicles]

Sid

Oh, that's gotta hurt.

Chris

Right, I've been to the job centre yeah, and they're a bit.. well they're all fuc—

Josie

Fuddy-duddies.

Chris

Yeah! Yeah, they are fuddy-duddies! Right, they're like, "just queue up here, fill in this box here, don't steal that. Right, it's a load of cra—"

Josie

Cranberry juice. [offers Chris a carton] Would you want...?

Chris

Thanks. Anyway, there's this one lady there, I've never met such a big fat bit—

Josie

Biscuit. [offers Chris a jar] Do you want a biscuit?

Josie

How can I help?

Chris

Well, I'm thinking, seeing as you're a careers officer...

Chris

...I thought.. you could... you know...

Chris

...help me get a job.

Josie

Oh yeah! Totally!

Chris

Yeah!? Fucking ace!

Josie

[quietly] Chris, stop swearing...

Chris

So I told him he was a pitty boss and a pastard, and he could pucking shove his pucked polo up his packside! Stupid prick!

Josie

I think one slipped through there Chris...

Chris

[thinks] Stupid punt.

Can I have a word?

It's just that, you've not sold anything yet. You've been here a while now.

Chris

No, no, I understand.

If there's anything I can do to help...

Chris

[referring to Jon] Muzzle, maybe?

[laughs, then adopts a serious manner] He does sell properties, son.