Michelle Richardson quotes from Skins

Tony

Alright, who's stupid enough to fuck Sid?

Michelle

Cassie?

Sid

No, she's still in hospital.

Michelle

No, they let her out; she's just not allowed to handle knives.

Sid

[defeated] Alright, she'll do.

Tony

Okay we'll have to get a lot of drugs. Tell you what: get an ounce. We can sell it at the party.

Sid

I've got to get an ounce of spliff?

Tony

Sure. There's this guy on Bradley Stoke who'll sell on tick; tell him you'll pay tomorrow.

Sid

Why don't you go?

Tony

Can't. Got tai chi, then my choir audition, then psychology.

Michelle

Cassie's great in the sack... as long as she's not hungry.

Sid

Who says?

Everyone.

Cassie

'Chelle?

Michelle

[mumbling in her sleep] Fuck off, Tone.

Cassie

It's me, Cass.

Michelle

Crazy bitch.

Cassie

...Yes.

Michelle

You, girl, need to learn a few tricks.

Like what?

Michelle

Like looking good, it's what I do.

It isn't all you do.

Michelle

Yeah, it is. You play clarinet and I look shaggable.

Michelle

What the fuck?

Um, excuse me?

Tony

Hi. Just checking Abi's diaphragm contractions.

Michelle

What the hell is going on?

Tony

The simple act of performance, sweetie. What did you think?

Michelle

Bullshit Tony! You fucking sick... God, you're such a wanker!

Tony

Here...

Michelle

Fuck you!

Tony

[In baby voice]: Fluffy teddy bear?

That's my lucky teddy!

Michelle

And you can fuck off too!

Well, Michelle... I'm just wondering why you're overreacting like this?

Michelle

Overreacting!? Right in my face, you whore!

You know, typically, episodes of paranoia might be symptomatic of a wide range of emotional and mental issues. Maybe, you know, you need some help with the outbursts. My mother's a psychologist, she could...

Ow! I'll kill you, you fucking flat-chested cock-sucking spastic horse-fucker!

Sid

Whoa, good swearing.

Michelle

Bye, Tony.

Tony

Later, Nips.

Tony

'Chelle, you all right?

Michelle

[punches Tony in the face] You dirty little fucker, I never want to see your tiny twatty cock ever again.

Tony

What's up, Nips?

Michelle

[kicks Tony in the groin] I was waiting for you to tell me. [crying] Time's up, you wanker! [walks away]

[to Tony] Jesus, what have you done this time? [to Sid] Sid?

Sid

I don't know!

For Christ's sake!

I must say, she's a fiery one.

Maxxie

Tone, shouldn't you, you know, go after her?

Tony

...She'll come back.

'Chelle, what happened?

Michelle

[crying] Never mind!

Never mind? Did he screw someone again?

Michelle

Again?

I tried to tell you, 'Chelle.

Michelle

About who?

But you never wanna hear it.

Michelle

About who, for Christ's sakes!?

Jenny, Mags, Kelly, White Justine, Black Justine, Bucktooth from the Geography trip, the posh girl from the choir...

Michelle

Abigail? Abigail Stock? He promised he hadn't!

Michelle

Hi, Abby.

Michelle. How...safe to see you.

Michelle

[sarcastically] Isn't it? Can I ask you something?

Yah?

Michelle

I was just wondering how many times you fucked my boyfriend.

Oh, Abby, you didn't.

Very, very rude of you, yah? It's just horrid.

Michelle

Don't worry. He fucks everyone, including boys, so you've got that in common.

Oh, you absolute bitch! [tries to assault Michelle, but is stopped by a boy]

Hey, easy, Abby. Easy.

I didn't! I fuck-- I mean, I just wouldn't!

That's terrible.

Michelle

I wouldn't go there, mate. Don't know what she's picked up, you know what I mean?

That's the absolute limit!

Let me go! I want to shit her, the fucking bitch, cow, whore! Let go of me!

[struggling] Perhaps you should go, yeah? I'm Josh, by the way -- Abigail's brother.

Michelle

Sweet. Anyway, bye, girls. Bye, Abby.

[struggling] Let me, go I want to tear her tits off!

Come here, you curly-haired tart, I'm going to fuck you up! Come back!

[stunned at Michelle] Wow.

Tony

Hi, Michelle.

Michelle

You dressed as Luke. For her.

Tony

Well, I guess I... did I?

Michelle

Tony, you... [walks away]

Anwar

You think either of them has actually seen Star Wars? You reckon they know Luke's her brother?

Michelle

[looking upwards] What the fuck?

Sketch

It just slipped. Sorry.

Sid

[getting up] Anyways, we should get the tents up. [helps Michelle up] Gimme a hand getting them off the...

Sid

...Roof?

Chris

Look, it's not my fault!

I told you to tie the tents to the roof!

Chris

No, no, no, you said to put the stuff on the roof! Nobody said anything about tying!

Maxxie

You meader, Chris!

Sid

[As Anwar pushes Chris] What did you think was holding them up there, you muppet?!

Michelle

Where the fuck are we gonna sleep!?

Chris

I'm sorry! [pause] Fuck it, I'm inadequate. What can you do?

This! [reaches out and crushes his testicles]

Sid

Oh, that's gotta hurt.

Michelle

I'm not saying forget about him [Chris], because you can't and you shouldn't. He was special. But I, I just think... Fuck it.

What?

Michelle

Like Chris. He said fuck it, I'll do it my way. And the people that love me will understand why I'm doing it because they love me.