Cassie Ainsworth quotes from Skins

Tony

How's the treatment going, Cassie?

Cassie

Oh, it's cool. I wear a white dress and now I can eat yogurt, cup-a-soup, and hazelnuts now. I'm not sick if they let me play with the cats. Yeah, it's like... hazy days, y'know?

Tony

Well, that's encouraging...

Sid

I mean, what would you do when everything is just so fucked up and you don't know what to do?

Cassie

I stop eating until they take me to hospital.

Anwar

I'm praying to my God here, Cass.

Cassie

Oh... wow... is he listening?

Anwar

I hope not, otherwise he'll know about all those pills I necked last night.

Cassie

Sing quietly.

Cassie

'Chelle?

Michelle

[mumbling in her sleep] Fuck off, Tone.

Cassie

It's me, Cass.

Michelle

Crazy bitch.

Cassie

...Yes.

Tony

You stink.

Sid

I didn't have time.

Tony

Time? I've been home, showered, done my Chi, had a wank, subtly undermined my dad, put new clothes on and here I am, with my English coursework.

Sid

English coursework? [in dismay] Oh fuck...

Tony

You know, Sid, sometimes I wonder why you even bother to get up in the morning. You're such a complete and total fucking waste of time and... [angered, Cassie discreetly nudges her plate, spilling Sid's Coca Cola on Tony's trousers] Ah, shit!

Cassie

Wow, Tony. Bummer, It looks like you pissed yourself.

Tony

[furiously] That's not supposed to fucking happen!

Anwar

Look at Tony, man! [laughing] Ah shit man!

Raas blood, white boy gone piss himself up, you get me! Mandem's sick stains! Hey cuz! Yo got serious stains! Him cream up his pussy good style!

Cassie

I'm a bad person. [Sid smiles and nods]

Tony

[sulkily, to Sid] Come on.

Cassie

This guy from my group therapy's got your ID card. He's a crazy fuck and he hates you because you cheated him.

Sid

What's his name?

Cassie

He likes to be called Mad.

Sid

Twatter?

Cassie

Yeah, totally. What did you do?

Sid

I bought some dope on the tick and lost it in the harbour, and... oh, fuck!

Cassie

I've been waiting. Where were you?

Sid

I was out.

Cassie

Who with?

Sid

Michelle.

Cassie

Michelle? Wow!

Sid

Listen, Cass, I've had a bit of a bad nigh—[is interrupted by Cassie]

Cassie

Michelle's so lovely! [singsong] Michelle... my girl. [Rapidly] I love her, I love her, I love her! So hey, wow! Fuck you, Sid! [Sid tries to protest] Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! [Cassie shoots her toy water gun at Sid's face then breaks down in tears] I'm going home.

Cassie

[kissing Sid] It's your choice, everything is your choice. [whispers] Wake up, Sid.

Sid

[writing a letter] Cassie, I don't care if you think you're odd, because I feel like singing when I see you. And you're beautiful. And I've been such a fucking chapstick this past few weeks. And all I want to do this morning is sit on top of Brandon Hill and hold you, and tell you how wonderful you are... and stick my hand down your knickers. [thinks, crosses this out]

Cassie

[writing a letter] Dear Sid, it isn't easy to tell you this, so that's why I'm writing. Don't try to ring me, because you're not allowed to here, and anyway I don't want to speak to you. And there's nothing you can say to change this. My mom and dad decided that things aren't working out, so I'm moving to a place called Elgin. It's in Scotland, and everyone's happy there. They're coming for me tonight, and then I'll be gone and we won't have to play this silly game anymore. I want you to know that I really liked you, Sid. But... it's too late now. Goodbye.

Cassie

[maniacally, while peeling an apple with a carving knife] Chris and Jal... Jal and Chris... more couples! More and more couples! [staring at the knife] Have you ever been in love?

I don't think so...

Cassie

[smiling] Do you want me to describe it to you?

[nervously] Okay...

Cassie

Do you remember when you rode with me in the ambulance after I tried to kill myself?

Of course.

Cassie

That's what love feels like.

Cassie

Do you know what hurts most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before... try and keep that feeling, because... if it goes... you'll never get it back.

Chris

What happens then?

Cassie

You lay waste to the world... and everything in it.

Cassie

[acidly] What do you want, Sid?

Sid

I want you to stop what you're doing, okay? You know: fucking around, fucking anything that moves. Just stop it!

Cassie

You started it!

Sid

I don't care, I don't care! You're cruel! I hate you!

Cassie

I hate you right back. Why don't you pop over to Michelle's and give her one? [mock surprise] Oh, another one!

Sid

[annoyed] Just give it a fucking rest, okay? You know, it's you and me. You know that, and you're being stupid!

Cassie

My turn!

Sid

You went away! Why did you go away? You know, I needed you, and you pissed off! My dad said... he said you're special, but you're not! You're just slutting around like a spoilt kid!

Cassie

[singsong] Michelle, Sid, Michelle!

Sid

I don't love Michelle! I never loved Michelle, I love you, but you—[sits down, and starts to cry] God, where were you? My dad fucking died. [Cassie's guilt begins to show] I needed you. I mean, Michelle?... We had great sex for three days and guilty sex for the rest. So what? I don't care! I did it. I hate you. [gets up to leave] Fine, fuck fifteen year olds. Whatever. I'm sick of saying sorry. I love you. You say sorry.

Cassie

[Realising he's talking about Effy's friend, Jake] I didn't fuck him, Sid. His mum had sewn his name into his trousers, and, well, he got a bit excited. And he squashed my slug. My slug called Sidley. So I threw him out.

Chris

[Chris walks in] Look, if he's still bothering you, Cass,- [seeing them kiss] Oh... okay. Smokin'!

Cassie

You can put any face behind a mask, but be careful.

Why?

Cassie

Because someone else might be pretending.

Cassie

Okay. What do you have to say to me?

Sid

Erm... I'm sorry I'm such a tit?

Cassie

[smiles] No.

Sid

My life never made any sense to me until I met you?

Cassie

No.

Sid

Um... I never really loved Michelle, and it was a terrible mistake. And I must have misheard her when she said that I was the best lay ever, and she really really wasn't that great in bed?

Cassie

[slightly disturbed] No.

Sid

[what she wants dawns on him] Good luck in your exam.

Cassie

I'll love you forever, Sid.

Sid

You will?

Cassie

Yes. That's the problem.

Cassie

Is it possible to truly enjoy power?

Sorry?

Cassie

'S question three.

I'm not supposed to help you with your exam.

Cassie

I stopped eating, and then everyone had to do what I said. That was powerful.

And did you enjoy that?

Cassie

I think it was the happiest time of my life. But I had to stop before I died, because... otherwise it wasn't fun.... You wouldn't understand.

You're wrong, Cassie.

Cassie

Did you cut yourself, too?

People will do anything to-- People will do anything to work out why they feel bad, won't they?

Cassie

And did you? Work it out?

Like I said, I'm not supposed to help you with your exam.

Cassie

I want you to tell me!

What?

Cassie

How to stop bad things happening.

Doesn't work, does it? That's why you have to start eating again.

Cassie

... I fell in love.

Ah, love. Why cut yourself when you can be in love?

Cassie

You think passing an exam will make me happy?

Cassie, passing exams generally only makes life more complicated, but there's lots of other stuff that makes things bearable, and you don't even have to use a knife.

Cassie

...Like?

Disco.