Alo quotes from Skins

Alo

Has Hannah Montana died or something?

Alo

(in response to Nick's continual requests for pills) No, I do not have any pharma- fucking- ceuticals, Nicholas!

Alo

[To Nick] You're not a loser. You're a bit of a prick. But peel away that prick, and there's a good man in there.

Alo

I'm never gonna get laid if you keep being such a douche to all the dames we meet.

Rich

That's because all the girls we meet are always assholes.

Alo

I don't care if they're one-legged, dead hermaphrodites. I need some sex!

Alo

So you were homeless?

Matty

More on the move.

Grace

It must have been really hard.

Matty

Nah. After the first few blow jobs, you get used to the taste, and then it's pretty lucrative, really.

Alo

I know they're being shitty, but I can't just wreck the farm. It's all they've got. And I... you know.

Matty

No, what?

Alo

I love them, and stuff.

Rich

Haha, you're gay for your parents.

Rich

I look like...

Alo

Justin Bieber.

Rich

Take that back!

Alo

OK, OK... you look like a man who's just made the ultimate sacrifice for love! Right. Uhhh... (gasps) Rain check- rings!

Rich

(irritated) You should know- best man.

Alo

Oh, yeah! (fishes the rings out of his pocket) Uhhh- suits are all sorted.

Rich

Dare I ask how?

Alo

(chuckling) Da and Dowie used to be a Beatles crupie band together! I fished 'em out, you know, all the-

Rich

I'm gonna ignore that.

Alo

Matty and Nick are taking care of... (Matty and Nick rush past them with a shopping cart of stolen alcohol, pursued by security guards)

Matty

Catering's sorted, boss!

Nick

(laughing at Rich's new haircut) Oh my gay, it's Justin Bieber!

Nick

[With his leg caught in a trap] Save yourself! Leave me to the bears.

Alo

We're in Somerset, Nick.

Nick

To the fucking squirrels then!

Alo

Zurich? Like, in space?

Rich

It's in Switzerland.

Alo

She's only been awake five minutes and he takes her skiing? That is mental!

Rich

She's at a clinic, you subnormal twat.

Mini

  Are you fucking kidding me?

Alo

  Eric let me in.

Mini

  So you thought you'd just look through my stuff?

Alo

  Shit, I'm sorry. [gets off bed] Hey. [Mini doesn't respond, and just stares sullenly at him] Can you turn off Megabitch for a second please? I want proper Mini.

Mini

  [beginning to smile] Well, seeing as you're here, you might as well earn your keep.

Alo

  No, no, no, Mini, Mini, Mini. Look, that's not why I came round, all right? I want to talk to you. [Mini smiles and takes her dress off. Alo picks her up and flips her over onto her back] I'm sorry I freaked you out the other night.

Mini

  You were fucked.

Alo

  I wasn't that fucked.

Mini

  [pushes Alo off the bed] You can't just come over here and start bitching about feelings like a little pussy. If you're not here to fuck me, go home.

Alo

  [looking through a scrapbook, laughing] What's the one where Liv looks like a condom?

Mini

  Is Grace dressed as Cinderella?

Alo

  Yes.

Mini

  Hallowe'en, Year 10. Liv went as a condom.

Alo

  And the one where Grace is holding a massive crab?

Mini

  Newquay, summer before college.

Alo

  She looks happy. [Mini rolls over to face him] Mini, I miss her too.

Mini

  Are you going to keep giving me the silent treatment? I just waded through a sea of shit for you.

Alo

  Great. Thanks. I just...you know, I'd quite like for you not to be here right now.

Mini

  I'm telling you I'm sorry.

Alo

  And I'm telling you it doesn't matter.

Mini

  I thought it was working. We...we agreed...

Alo

  I'm done, Mins. It's too much. It's too fucking exhausting loving you.

Mini

  But Alo, I...

Alo

  Say it. [Mini stares at him] I don't think you know how to love anything.

Mini

  Oh for fuck's sake, Farmboy, what are you playing at?

Alo

  Okay, okay, okay. With a little hindsight, the whole breaking and entering does feel a bit excessive but to be fair, I did knock and you didn't answer which is kind of rude considering you're actually home.

Mini

  Maybe because I didn't want to speak to a child molester!

Alo

  It was an accident!

Mini

  What, you slipped, fell and molested a pre-teen girl?

Alo

  Don't say that.

Mini

  I mean, congratulations, you've finally found someone with the same mental age as you. But seriously, Alo, what is wrong with you?

Alo

  You're what's wrong with me! I'm not just some lame Michael Cera. You can't treat me like a bitch and expect me not to fall in love with you. It's not fair, Mini.

Mini

  Who said I was in love with you?

Alo

  Don't. Don't do that. Don't revert back to that Mean Girls McGuinness bullshit, okay? I hate that girl. I want you. I know you, Mini. I know you're afraid, you're of being alone, but guess what? I'm not your dad.

Mini

  It's not that easy.

Alo

  How? How is it not that easy? I don't see what can be easier than just you and me. What are you so afraid of? What...what is it?

Mini

  I want you to go, Alo.

Alo

  No.

Mini

  Leave now. Get out. Get out of my room. Get out, get out of my room.

Alo

  Okay, okay, I'll go. [Mini opens the door and Alo steps outside but pushes back in before she shuts him out] I love you, and I know you love me too. And when you're ready to admit that, you come and find me, because I'll be fucking waiting. However long it takes. [Alo leaves]

Franky

  You have to tell him.

Rich

We did it, Alo. We got there. We lost our virginities, fell in love and actually had a pretty damn good time.

Alo

That we did.

Rich

That we did.