Stacy quotes from Shining Time Station

Stacy, we're not going camping in the rain, are we?

Stacy

No. I think we're gonna have to camp out in the station tonight.

[laughs] Camp out in the station. Talk about survival!

Stacy

Well, what are you gonna do? You haven't packed any sleeping bags or blankets.

Kara

No food, no lanterns.

No raincoats, no flashlights.

[through his bullhorn] Who cares? Real men know how to survive in the w--

Real men know how to survive in the woods using their basic instincts. For example, if we get hungry, we'll just eat bugs and bees and bark like the bears do. And if it starts raining, why we'll just build a log cabin. In short, Miss Jones, we'll be living off the land like that great American frontiersman: Pat Boone.

Okay, I admit it! I admit it! I don't know anything about camping! But please! Please! Please keep that mountain lion away from me!

Mountain lion? There are no mountain lions in this neck of the woods.

Yes, there are! It's a mountain lion! It had a big furry tail, and little eyes, and little tiny legs, and... [imitates chomping] Chompin' on nuts.

Stacy

Oh, Schemer. That does not sound like a mountain lion. To me, it sounds like a squirrel.

A squirrel? [calms down] Well, it sure looked like a mountain lion.

Stacy

Okay, Schemer. Why don't you come here and sit down with us? We'll get you dry, get you something to eat.

Oh, no, no. I don't want anymore food. I'm too full. I think I ate too many sandwiches.

Kara

Hey, Schemer, how'd you get out of the creek?

Gettin' outta the creek was easy. Gettin' outta the swamp-- Now, that was hard! I pulled myself up by this branch, but then it got really scary and everything, 'cause it was dark, and I was... [sobs hysterically] I thought I was a goner, and then that was it. I thought I'd never see Schemer again. But then I heard this little whistle.

Stacy

A little whistle?

Yeah. It was like this little whistle, and I didn't know where the heck the sound came from. So I start following the sound of this little whistle, I'm going through the woods, and all of a sudden, here I am at Shining Time Station. But I was kind of afraid to come in, because I kinda thought that the kids wouldn't wanna see the old Schemer again.

Stacy

Well, Schemer, it sounds like you learned your lesson the hard way.

Yeah. Never go campin' without my mommy. I'm a failure.

I am so disappointed!

Stacy

Because it wasn't bad spirits? Only Schemee?

Exactly. I was having such a good time with all the bad spirits.

But, Midge, there were spirits! I heard them!

Oh, just save it, Doris--! Come on! --For the clap trap of next Friday's meeting of the ladies' auxiliary.

[notices the wet floor] Very wet here.

Stacy

Tell me, do I know you?

Of course you know me. I'm your nephew, Dan.

Stacy

Oh, hi. Nice to meet you, Dan.

Hi, Dan. Hello, Stacy. [Stacy looks at him]

Stacy

[shrieks] A little man! [hides behind the information desk]

Aunt Stacy, come back! It's only Mr. Conductor!

You don't have to be afraid of me. My name is Mr. Conductor, and I've known you since you were Dan's age. I knew your parents when they were Dan's age. I live here in the signal house on that mural.

Ah! Ah, Ma'am. Uh, Ma'am, uh, there you are. My client, Mr. Schemer, is hoping that you could re-sign this.

Stacy

Yes, uh,... Your client? Ma'am? Since when do you call me ma'am?!

Uh, it's just a little joke, Jonesy,-- Miss Ma'am,-- Miss Jones.

Stacy

Yeah, and it's also important to remember who your friends aren't! Who would take advantage of someone for their own, low, mean-spirited personal gains?!

Ouch.

Uh, I take it that means you are declining my client's offer?

Stacy

Ladies and gentlemen, cast and friends, Shining Time Station is proud to present... Oh. Mr. Conductor, what's your title?

Producer/director.

Stacy

No, no, no, no. I mean, the title of the movie.

Oh. A Little Light Madness.

Stacy

...Proud to present, A Little Light Madness, starring... starring everyone.

Kara

[after the prank pulled on Schemer has backfired] Stacy, we're really sorry.

We let things go too far.

Will Schemer really lose the arcade?

Stacy

I don't think so. I think if we talk to Mr. King and explain what happened, everything will be all right, just as long as it doesn't happen again.

Stacy

Oh, Mr. Conductor. What do you think? Should we help Schemer?

I think so. This wasn't entirely his fault. But we better help him soon so he has time to get ready like me.

Ready for what?

Stacy

For tomorrow, which is really April Fools Day. And Schemer's gonna hafta go through this all over again!

[stops] What was that?

Stacy

I was wondering the same thing.

It's a lug wrench!

Stacy

[picks up the wrench] It certainly is. And I bet that this lug wrench will fit Dan's bike.

Uh-oh. [to his uncle] You said to do anything to win.

Hey, when I said "anything", I did not mean "anything".

And that means you're disqualified, Schemee. And I get my nickels back.

That's not fair!

Stacy

Fair? Schemee, not only did you break Dan's bike, but you could've caused Dan to have a serious accident. Now, is that fair?

No.

Stacy

Well, I think you owe someone an apology.

But I won the race.

Hey, hey, hey! "Won the race"? I lost a pile of nickels, and more importantly than that, I lost the pride of the Schemer name.

[frowns] I'm really sorry now.

You're gonna be a lot more sorry when I get you home, take away your bike, and straighten out this curl! [drags his nephew out of the station] Now, c'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Vandalism! Can you imagine that? Right in our own backyard!

You know, I can't understand why anyone would deface public property.

Stacy

What happened?

Somebody spray-painted all over the baseball scoreboard.

Stacy

Are you sure?

This is a new low for our valley.

Who would do such an awful thing?

[walks in] Hey, Stacy. Have you seen Billy?

Stacy

Oh, uh... Yes, Kit. He's waiting for you at the ball park.

Thank you. [leaves the lobby]

Stacy

Harry, I'd like you to meet Billy, Billy Twofeathers. He took your old job-- Engineer, first-class.

Harry

[shakes hands with his successor] Hello, Billy.

Billy

Oh, I've heard a lot about you, Harry. You left some mighty big shoes to fill around this place.

Harry

Thank you, Billy!

Stacy

So tell me, what you been up to?

Harry

Well, let's see. It's hard to know where to begin. For one thing,...

Billy

[in response to the ringing phone] I'll get it.

Stacy

Oh, thank you, Billy.

Harry

I'm planning on rebuilding an entire steam engine. An old favorite of mine.

Billy

It's for you, Stacy!

Stacy

Oh, excuse me, Harry.

Harry

I was just telling Stacy my plans to build an entire steam engine...

[barges into the station] Mr. Twofeathers! There's a boiler problem with engine 4. I need you to look at it right away.

Billy

No problem. Thanks, Harry. [leaves]

Harry

Yeah, yeah, yes, Billy. Yes.

[surprised] Harry, is that you?!

Harry

Yes!

[shakes hands with Harry] Welcome back, old timer!

Harry

Hello!

What have you been doing with yourself?

Harry

Well, I was just telling Billy about my plans to build...

[looks at his watch] I'm afraid that'll have to wait, old friend. I have a dozen things to do. What time do you have?

Harry

I wouldn't know.

But what happened to that gold watch that we gave you when you retired?

Harry

Well, it stopped working.

I see. Well, we'll get that fixed for you! [leaves] Nice talking to you, Harry.

Harry

Yes. Yes.

[enters and passes Harry] Hey, Harry. How ya doin'? Ah, just great. I'll talk to you later.

Harry

Schemer? Schemer? Maybe things have changed around here.

Goodbye, jewels.

Nice suitcase, pal.

I said I like your suitcase!

Oh, thank you very much. It is nice, isn't it?

Just hand it over, mac.

What it is, see,-- We're detectives. Private eyes. And we're on the trail of some hot rocks!

Hot rocks?

Stolen jewelry, diamonds, pearls-- Stuff like that. We're after a lady with an English accent. She stole 'em, see? She's what we call the perp. You seen her around?

No, I have not! I don't know any English perps! Can't help you there. No can do.

Just give it here.

Stacy! Stacy! [smacks the thieves] Get away from me, you!

Stacy

[enters with a baseball bat] Schemer, are you all right?!

Stacy

Can I help you, gentlemen?

G'day, ma'am. We're detectives.

Yeah, private eyes.

And I was wondering,...

You see, your friend there has somethin' that belongs to us, and we'd like it back.

Stacy

Schemer?

[points at the thieves] Bad men! Bad men!

Stacy

Do you have something to prove that you're real detectives? A badge, some identification, something like that?

Identification...

A badge, huh? What it is, see,-- We don't hafta tell you who we are, because we are undercover.

Stacy

Oh. Well, this is my station. And unless you can prove that you're real detectives,...

No, no, no, no, no, no. Like he said, see, we're under-the-covers.

Stacy

Oh. Well, I suggest that you leave.

Who's gonna make us leave, huh? What, you?

Stacy

[holds up her bat] That's right! [inches toward Biff and Bull] Now, this happens to be my station. I am the station manager. And I'm not gonna ask you one more time... to leave this station!

[intimidated] We'll be back, pal! We'll be back!

[mockingly] "We'll be back, pal! We'll be back!" Run! Run! Run, you little chickens! Run! [laughs] You and me, Jonesy.

Stacy

Schemer, what was that all about? What's an English perp?

No, no, no, no, no, no. A Schemer burp. [burps; gasps] Excuse me, Miss Jones! [apologetically] Excuse me, Miss Jones. Excuse me.

Stacy

[exasperatedly] Oh, Schemer.