Dan quotes from Shining Time Station

Tanya Lasanya and Matt the Hatt!

Kara

Look, it's Mr. Conductor!

Kara

Wait, where'd he go?!

No. You're imagining me. I'm not really here.

Kara

Wait, don't be afraid of us. Harry's my grandfather and Tanya's my cousin. They told me all about Thomas and the other trains.

Hey, I'm Dan Jones. Stacy's my aunt, and she told me all about your stories and your magic.

You mean you like stories, trains, and magic? Well, you've come to the right place! Let me properly introduce myself. Mr. Conductor, at your service.

Neat! How does a doll like that run? On batteries?

STOP IT! I don't come with batteries!

Yikes! It's a real little man!

We've been telling you, it's Mr. Conductor!

Kara

Now do you believe in magic?

I do. I do. I do!

[in the opening act of the show] The Scheme Master right here would like to tell you a little comic riddle. [laughs] It's a killer. Okay. All right, listen, here it is. [laughs again] I love this. What is green,... [quietly] Green. [continues] ...has six legs,... [under his breath] Six legs. [finishes] ...and if it drops out of a tree on your head, it'll squish you like a bug? [laughs] Okay. Nobody can guess? I'll hafta tell ya, then.

[raises her hand] I know! A pool table.

Stacy

Oh! Very good!

Thank you.

Well, thank you very much, Miss Smartypants-Know-It-All.

Yeah, what?

Doesn't she win anything?

No! This isn't a game show! I'm not givin' away money! I'm tryin' to do some jokes here! Come on, people! Sit up straight, pay attention, and let's start to laugh at Schemer! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! I'm workin' hard up here!

Weren't you supposed to be out playing baseball?

Kara

The game's not for a while yet.

And anyway, we're gonna lose.

Well, you certainly will with that attitude. Imagine if Thomas had felt like that in the story of a famous race against Bertie.

Kara

Did Thomas win?

Tell us, Mr. Conductor.

I will.

Schemer, you stole all our money!

What are you talkin' about? What money?

Kara

The one for Stacy's party, and you ate all our fudge.

Hey, I did not steal any money, and I did not eat any...

Frankly, I had a couple pieces. But eating the food gave me a good idea. See? Fruit cakes, made by my mommy, five cents apiece. [laughs]

Billy

Schemer, did you make Becky spend all her money?

No, I didn't.

Did too!

Did not!

Did too!

Did not!

Did too!

DID NOT!

Actually, he didn't.

See? I didn't. [to Becky] I didn't?

I guess I could've said no. But I just got carried away.

She could've said no, but she got carried away.

Billy

Did you know the fudge was for Stacy's party?

[exasperatedly] Stacy's party. Stacy's party! Who cares about Stacy's party? Some stupid party I wasn't invited to, anyway.

Billy

Oh, you do care, and you are invited.

I am?

He is?

Billy

Of course he is! [takes Schemer's fruit cake stand] But it wouldn't be much of a party without fruit cakes.

Stacy

Tell me, do I know you?

Of course you know me. I'm your nephew, Dan.

Stacy

Oh, hi. Nice to meet you, Dan.

Hi, Dan. Hello, Stacy. [Stacy looks at him]

Stacy

[shrieks] A little man! [hides behind the information desk]

Aunt Stacy, come back! It's only Mr. Conductor!

You don't have to be afraid of me. My name is Mr. Conductor, and I've known you since you were Dan's age. I knew your parents when they were Dan's age. I live here in the signal house on that mural.

Kara

[after the prank pulled on Schemer has backfired] Stacy, we're really sorry.

We let things go too far.

Will Schemer really lose the arcade?

Stacy

I don't think so. I think if we talk to Mr. King and explain what happened, everything will be all right, just as long as it doesn't happen again.

Stacy

Oh, Mr. Conductor. What do you think? Should we help Schemer?

I think so. This wasn't entirely his fault. But we better help him soon so he has time to get ready like me.

Ready for what?

Stacy

For tomorrow, which is really April Fools Day. And Schemer's gonna hafta go through this all over again!