Mayor Flopdinger quotes from Shining Time Station

The name is Osgood Bob Flopdinger. I'm the mayor of East Shemp. And I'm looking for a man called Schemer. I never saw him before, but I know his voice. Have you seen him?

Stacy

Oh. Mayor Flopdinger! We spoke on the phone earlier.

Earlier than who?! [calmly] Never mind. The point is this. Have you tried that sandwich spread of his?

Stacy

Yes, I have tried it.

Well, then I don't have to tell you that this stuff is inedible by man nor beast. My shaving cream tastes better than this.

Stacy

I'll tell Schemer you stopped by.

Thank you very much. And tell Mr. Schemer that if he doesn't have a new, improved version of his sandwich spread in time for lunch, he's in big trouble! And not only with me, but also with every one of the Friends of the Flowering Cactus Ladies' Auxiliary. And that's not funny. Believe me, I speak from experience.

Scoop! Where is this Scoop?! I'm lookin' for this nincompoop Scoop!

Mr. Mayor, here I am, Your Honor.

[holds out his newspaper] Are you the author of this journalistic gobbledygook?

The story on your campaign speech. Yes, sir. I wrote that.

[hands Scoop the paper] Well, go ahead and read it. Read it right now, right there.

[reads the article] "His Honor said that he was here tonight to talk garbage." Well?

Well, I said I was there to talk about garbage! Trash collections. Clean streets. Recycling.

Oh. Sorry.

Sorry? Well, what are you gonna do about it?

We'll print a retraction in tomorrow's paper. No problem.

Hello, everyone, we got a special birthday announcement for the mayor; it's the mayor's birthday today...

No, it's not my birthday. It's my wife's birthday!

I'm sorry, it's his wife's birthday! Her name is Tuna Melt, and she's crispy on the outside, and she's soft on the inside. That's her name, and... [hands the mayor his microphone]

Her name is Twylene! Hello, Twylene, dear. It's me, Twylene, yes, your husband!

I quit! I quit! I quit!

You QUIT?! You can't quit, Schemer! YOU'RE FIRED!