Mr. Conductor quotes from Shining Time Station

[hears a horn honk outside] Oh! There's Midge Smoot! Don't tell her a secret. She's sure to leak it!

Everyone has something special to offer, but you never know it unless you give them a chance to show you.

Dear diary, there's only one way to begin this story. Once upon a time, because it was Founder's Day, the day we celebrate the history of Shining Time Station, I was up bright and early, trying to get things ready. I shampooed the pigeons, cleaned out the wishing well, and I just begun another job.

[notices Biff and Bull on a handcar] Well, it seems we've been dealt a pair of knaves to go with our queen.

Here! You missed a spot. It's the window over here. You did the others, but don't miss this one.

That's a good lad.

Can't do a job half way. What's worth doing is worth doing well, I say. And that goes double when you're doing my windows. Because they're double-paned. A pain in the neck, and a pane to clean. Do you know what I see when I look at that clean window?

Matt

No.

The inside of the switch house. What else would I see? Well done, lad. What's your name?

Matt

Mat--Matthew--M-- Matt!

Or is it Matthew-Matt-Matthew? And you may call me Mr. Conductor. Well, you're a good worker. You know who'd like you? My friend Thomas.

Matt

Thomas lives in there with you?

Dear me, no! Thomas is a steam engine, and he lives on the Island of Sodor. You are interested in trains, aren't you?

Matt

Yes, sir.

Splendid. Then I'll tell you a story about my friend Thomas. You do like stories, don't you?

Matt

Oh, yes.

Very well. But first, I have to find my whistle.

Ah! Here we go!

[views the new schedule] Impossible! Ridiculous! And foolishness! This new train schedule is tommyrot, balderdash, and cuckoo. There isn't a train on Earth that can go from Point Pokey to Cloggyville in 11 seconds. It's 14 miles, and look here-- From Doodletown to Turley in 18 hours. Well, it's impossible. Why, I can walk from Doodletown to Turley in 15 minutes, and I'm only 18 inches tall! I'll just have to write the correct times in here.

Stacy

What are you doing? Stop that! Those are the new train schedules from the railroad company. I am the only one who can change those schedules.

Well, it may be new, but it's not a train schedule.

Stacy

Give me that pencil!

Never! You can't get from Buttertown to Chubby Corners in four seconds! [disappears]

Harry

[inspects his sketch] And this becomes a local for Doodlehaven.

This meeting is called to order!

Harry

I wish you'd warn me when you're going to do that.

Sorry, Harry. I'll try to remember.

Matt

Mr. Conductor, how can Schemer make such a big mistake and still be like he always is? He's not sorry or anything.

Well, he may not have learned anything. But you have learned about helping people. And Gordon has learned the same thing. Lucky thing for Thomas that he did too. But let me begin at the beginning.

Now, I think it is getting time for me to leave.

Matt

Not yet. Please, not yet.

Now, let me tell you both something. [removes his hat and dries his forehead with his handkerchief] No matter what happens, we will always be friends.

Promise?

Matt

Promise?

It's a promise! Good-bye, now. Good-bye. [leaves]

Wait! You forgot your hat.

Matt

It's too late. Now he's gone forever.

Tanya Lasanya and Matt the Hatt!

Kara

Look, it's Mr. Conductor!

Kara

Wait, where'd he go?!

No. You're imagining me. I'm not really here.

Kara

Wait, don't be afraid of us. Harry's my grandfather and Tanya's my cousin. They told me all about Thomas and the other trains.

Hey, I'm Dan Jones. Stacy's my aunt, and she told me all about your stories and your magic.

You mean you like stories, trains, and magic? Well, you've come to the right place! Let me properly introduce myself. Mr. Conductor, at your service.

Neat! How does a doll like that run? On batteries?

STOP IT! I don't come with batteries!

Yikes! It's a real little man!

We've been telling you, it's Mr. Conductor!

Kara

Now do you believe in magic?

I do. I do. I do!

Kara

[after Mr. Conductor's story] Mr. Conductor, did you tell us that just so we'd feel better about cleaning?

I was comparing your cleaning to the mess on Ginny's farm.

Stacy

[looks at the new uniforms] Oh, boy, look at that.

Billy

TST. I like the sound of that.

Stacy

Yeah. [looks at the back] "The Schemer Team"?

Matt

Well, Schemer did pay for the uniforms. [Mr. Conductor appears on his baseball bat]

Maybe they'll look better when they're on.

Kara

Mr. Conductor, are you okay?

Matt

Sorry, Mr. Conductor. I didn't see you there.

[gets back on his feet] Oh, that's all right, Matt. Yes, Kara. I'm as right as rain. I landed as a soft pop fly, you might say.

Weren't you supposed to be out playing baseball?

Kara

The game's not for a while yet.

And anyway, we're gonna lose.

Well, you certainly will with that attitude. Imagine if Thomas had felt like that in the story of a famous race against Bertie.

Kara

Did Thomas win?

Tell us, Mr. Conductor.

I will.

I don't think it matters on what we'll collect. All of it was not straw.

Straw?

Haven't I told about the time Percy ended up with a big straw collection and didn't want it? No? Well, then I'll tell you now. [blows whistle]