Kara quotes from Shining Time Station

Tanya Lasanya and Matt the Hatt!

Kara

Look, it's Mr. Conductor!

Kara

Wait, where'd he go?!

No. You're imagining me. I'm not really here.

Kara

Wait, don't be afraid of us. Harry's my grandfather and Tanya's my cousin. They told me all about Thomas and the other trains.

Hey, I'm Dan Jones. Stacy's my aunt, and she told me all about your stories and your magic.

You mean you like stories, trains, and magic? Well, you've come to the right place! Let me properly introduce myself. Mr. Conductor, at your service.

Neat! How does a doll like that run? On batteries?

STOP IT! I don't come with batteries!

Yikes! It's a real little man!

We've been telling you, it's Mr. Conductor!

Kara

Now do you believe in magic?

I do. I do. I do!

Kara

[after Mr. Conductor's story] Mr. Conductor, did you tell us that just so we'd feel better about cleaning?

I was comparing your cleaning to the mess on Ginny's farm.

Stacy

[looks at the new uniforms] Oh, boy, look at that.

Billy

TST. I like the sound of that.

Stacy

Yeah. [looks at the back] "The Schemer Team"?

Matt

Well, Schemer did pay for the uniforms. [Mr. Conductor appears on his baseball bat]

Maybe they'll look better when they're on.

Kara

Mr. Conductor, are you okay?

Matt

Sorry, Mr. Conductor. I didn't see you there.

[gets back on his feet] Oh, that's all right, Matt. Yes, Kara. I'm as right as rain. I landed as a soft pop fly, you might say.

Weren't you supposed to be out playing baseball?

Kara

The game's not for a while yet.

And anyway, we're gonna lose.

Well, you certainly will with that attitude. Imagine if Thomas had felt like that in the story of a famous race against Bertie.

Kara

Did Thomas win?

Tell us, Mr. Conductor.

I will.

Schemer, you stole all our money!

What are you talkin' about? What money?

Kara

The one for Stacy's party, and you ate all our fudge.

Hey, I did not steal any money, and I did not eat any...

Frankly, I had a couple pieces. But eating the food gave me a good idea. See? Fruit cakes, made by my mommy, five cents apiece. [laughs]

Billy

Schemer, did you make Becky spend all her money?

No, I didn't.

Did too!

Did not!

Did too!

Did not!

Did too!

DID NOT!

Actually, he didn't.

See? I didn't. [to Becky] I didn't?

I guess I could've said no. But I just got carried away.

She could've said no, but she got carried away.

Billy

Did you know the fudge was for Stacy's party?

[exasperatedly] Stacy's party. Stacy's party! Who cares about Stacy's party? Some stupid party I wasn't invited to, anyway.

Billy

Oh, you do care, and you are invited.

I am?

He is?

Billy

Of course he is! [takes Schemer's fruit cake stand] But it wouldn't be much of a party without fruit cakes.

I don't think it matters on what we'll collect. All of it was not straw.

Straw?

Haven't I told about the time Percy ended up with a big straw collection and didn't want it? No? Well, then I'll tell you now. [blows whistle]

Kara

[after Mr. Conductor's story] I'm glad the forest has grown back.

Forests do that. Leaves do, too. But friendships-- They can't grow back once they're broken. That's why we always have to take care of them.

Kara

Tea sets don't grow at all.

Stacy

[approaches with her newly-repaired teapot] But thank goodness for glue!

Kara

[notices the pot's cracks] But it's still cracked. I'm sorry. Next time you tell me not to touch something, I won't do it.

Stacy

Apology accepted. But you know, besides, I like these cracks. It gives it character, and it makes me think of all of you.

Stacy, are you calling me a crackpot?!

I know that Robby's just a machine, but it is sort of like he has real feelings.

Kara

And all Schemer does is hurt his feelings.

Stacy

Ginny, please, just try to calm down and tell us what happened.

Well, you know my dog.

Stacy

Yes. The one you renamed Mr. Filthy?

Well, this time, he's really gone and done it. I took the turkey outta the oven, and he's lookin' at it like a pointer. And I thought: "That's kinda cute", when all of a sudden, he lunged, attacked, ran out the back door with it and tore it to shreds! [frets] And now, I don't have a turkey.

Kara

Mr. Filthy is a bad dog.

From now on, his new name is Mr. Get-Outta-There. What am I gonna do? My nephew and his wife are comin' for dinner.

Stacy

You know something? There's a place in Dillylick that has pre-cooked turkeys, and I'm sure they're open for at least another half an hour.

I can't make it to Dillylick.

Billy

You could if I took you there.

You'd do that for me?!

Billy

Sure.

[sets to leave] Oh, come on. Let's go. Time's a-wastin'!

Stacy, we're not going camping in the rain, are we?

Stacy

No. I think we're gonna have to camp out in the station tonight.

[laughs] Camp out in the station. Talk about survival!

Stacy

Well, what are you gonna do? You haven't packed any sleeping bags or blankets.

Kara

No food, no lanterns.

No raincoats, no flashlights.

[through his bullhorn] Who cares? Real men know how to survive in the w--

Real men know how to survive in the woods using their basic instincts. For example, if we get hungry, we'll just eat bugs and bees and bark like the bears do. And if it starts raining, why we'll just build a log cabin. In short, Miss Jones, we'll be living off the land like that great American frontiersman: Pat Boone.

Okay, I admit it! I admit it! I don't know anything about camping! But please! Please! Please keep that mountain lion away from me!

Mountain lion? There are no mountain lions in this neck of the woods.

Yes, there are! It's a mountain lion! It had a big furry tail, and little eyes, and little tiny legs, and... [imitates chomping] Chompin' on nuts.

Stacy

Oh, Schemer. That does not sound like a mountain lion. To me, it sounds like a squirrel.

A squirrel? [calms down] Well, it sure looked like a mountain lion.

Stacy

Okay, Schemer. Why don't you come here and sit down with us? We'll get you dry, get you something to eat.

Oh, no, no. I don't want anymore food. I'm too full. I think I ate too many sandwiches.

Kara

Hey, Schemer, how'd you get out of the creek?

Gettin' outta the creek was easy. Gettin' outta the swamp-- Now, that was hard! I pulled myself up by this branch, but then it got really scary and everything, 'cause it was dark, and I was... [sobs hysterically] I thought I was a goner, and then that was it. I thought I'd never see Schemer again. But then I heard this little whistle.

Stacy

A little whistle?

Yeah. It was like this little whistle, and I didn't know where the heck the sound came from. So I start following the sound of this little whistle, I'm going through the woods, and all of a sudden, here I am at Shining Time Station. But I was kind of afraid to come in, because I kinda thought that the kids wouldn't wanna see the old Schemer again.

Stacy

Well, Schemer, it sounds like you learned your lesson the hard way.

Yeah. Never go campin' without my mommy. I'm a failure.

Kara

You have to go back now. You promised.

I won't go back! Not this time! A broken promise is not a crime.

Kara

Well, then, I'll tell on you.

Tell. Go ahead. They'll just get angry and sent you to bed.

Stick him quick! He'll get away!

Wait! I'm me! He's not!

Stick him with that gluey pot!

Kara

Which one of you's Mr. Conductor?!

ME!

ME!

Kara

Your whistle!

My whistle?!

My whistle!

NO!!!!

YES! Thank you, Kara. If you hadn't recognized my whistle, we'd have never gotten out of this mess!

Kara

[after the prank pulled on Schemer has backfired] Stacy, we're really sorry.

We let things go too far.

Will Schemer really lose the arcade?

Stacy

I don't think so. I think if we talk to Mr. King and explain what happened, everything will be all right, just as long as it doesn't happen again.

Stacy

Oh, Mr. Conductor. What do you think? Should we help Schemer?

I think so. This wasn't entirely his fault. But we better help him soon so he has time to get ready like me.

Ready for what?

Stacy

For tomorrow, which is really April Fools Day. And Schemer's gonna hafta go through this all over again!