Youens quotes from Shameless

Lip

[On phone] Yeah, you handle DUI? No, no, it's... it's for a friend. Sure, yeah, I can hold.

Wasting your time.

Lip

Hey, shut up and eat your fries. Yeah, I'm still here. Um, I don't know. He blew a...

1.8. I promise I won't drive anywhere.

Lip

Sorry, yeah. I'm still here, yeah. He blew a 1.8. Yeah, he hit a house. Um, but he didn't injure anyone. Got lucky. First DUI? No, it's his second.

Fifth.

Lip

What? No, sorry. It's, um... it's his fifth DUI. Hello? Prick hung up on me.

Told you you're wasting your time.

Lip

Fifth DUI? I mean, h... how does that even happen?

Ask me again when you're 60.

If you do find him, don't bring him back. Unless he's sober. He used up all nine of his lives.

Lip

Brad's been a rock for us. And we want to return the favor.

[Hands baby to Lip] Would you mind? I'll get the tea. It's so nice having somebody to talk to. We waited four years... Four years... To have a baby, hoping Brad could handle it.

[Cami hands cup to him] Thank you.

And the second we do, he goes off the wagon.

Lip

Listen, Cami, you should be pissed, of course, but it's a disease, you know, and he's fighting it.

I can't be worried about two babies. I have to be worried about where the next paycheck is coming from and then feeding that one! You're a natural.

Lip

I think it was all him.

There you go. There you go. Hey there. [Puts baby in crib] I know. Sorry. I love Brad. Sober Brad. If he wants to kill himself... he has to leave us out of it.

Lip

That's his truck.

Carl

The hell is that sticking out of the truck?

I think it's Michael Jordan's arm.

Lip

United Center? [Opens door to find truck cab stuffed with pastries] You got to be fucking kidding me. Apparently he looted a bakery.

Carl

Okay. Shit's now getting dark. What are we gonna find next, a body? Why do you even care about this dude? He's a psycho.

Lip

Done worse. It's extensions, see?

Carl

So? What does that even mean?

Lip

It's like a goddamn puzzle. It means he's a drunk. Come on, help me get the arm.

Carl

Why?

Lip

'Cause if Bulls fans find it in Brad's truck, they're gonna skin him alive. Come on.

Carl

What the hell are you gonna do with it? It weighs like 1,000 pounds.

Lip

Yeah, I know.