Luther quotes from Shameless

Carl

Good morning, sir.

Luther

Carl.

Carl

I'm here to pick Dominique up for school. May I come in?

Luther

No. Dom. Your white boy's here.

Carl

I decided to take up on your advice and help more around the house. I ironed my own shirt this morning. Nice gun, sir. Cross draw. Sig Sauer 226?

Luther

You know your guns.

Carl

Thank you, sir.

Luther

Wasn't a compliment, son. Dominique.

Carl

I'm excited about watching the game with you tonight, sir.

Luther

You what?

Carl

Yeah.

Carl

Hi.

What the hell are you doing here?

Carl

Nothing.

Well, you got me grounded for a month, so...

Carl

Where's your dad? Morning, Sergeant. Ready to hit the shooting range?

Luther

Yep. Let me grab my gun.

Okay. What's going on?

Luther

You've been texting that college boy all week. Think I didn't notice?

He has playoffs this week. He's anxious.

Luther

I don't care if he's starting point guard for the Bulls in the NBA Finals. I told you to cut it. But since I have a daughter who doesn't respect my wishes, she gets a father who doesn't respect hers. Let's go, son.

"Son"? [Slams front door]

Carl

I couldn't find anything about hell week online. They kept it secret. This one dude on Facebook posted that it was the worst week of his life.

Luther

They just run you till you puke.

Carl

What about hazing? At the Citadel, they put a helmet in a pillowcase and hit you over and over. Or they brand you with a red-hot hanger like a cow. That shit's permanent.

Luther

Smells bad, but it heals fast. Toughen you up. Make a man out of you. [Dominique arrives]

Hi. Bye, Dad. [Luther closes door] You look good.

[Standing by fence with Carl] Why the hell are you going to my dad's military school?

Carl

I guess I want to be like him.

You want to be an overweight cop sitting in a car for ten hours getting shit thrown at him? And I don't mean sh*t like "stuff." I mean shit like... human shit. Are you leaving 'cause of me?

Carl

No.

'Cause I feel bad about how everything went down.

Carl

You mean f*cking another dude?

You didn't deserve that. I'll miss you.